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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with this mum at nursery induction?

41 replies

rosewool · 10/10/2019 17:04

Dd2 had her nursery induction morning today and another little girl was having hers at the same time.

The other little girl's mother had brought her little sister who was about 18m along too.
Not problem in itself. I know you can't always get childcare. I had ds2 with me as well though luckily he is not mobile yet so can't get into too much mischief.

The girls got take part in activity with their group then have free play with them for a little while. Through this entire time the younger girl was running wild. Disrupting the activity, grabbing things off other children during the free play, flinging toys about and screaming and shouting. All while her mother sat doing bugger all except smiling contentedly and trying to sneak pictures when she thought the staff weren't looking.

It was incredibly selfish behaviour on the mother's part and I'm think the staff should have asked her to either get control of her daughter or leave and reschedule for another day when she could get childcare.

OP posts:
formerbabe · 10/10/2019 17:07

Forget about it...it doesn't matter.

Billballbaggins · 10/10/2019 17:10

Well the staff probably have quite a high threshold for kids running about and generally being loud and disruptive - they have a whole room full of little kids all day and are used to it. The only thing that I’d raise my eyebrows at is the sneaky phone use as every nursery I’ve seen is strict about phones but surely you could have mentioned that to the woman or a staff member at the time. Other than that it’s a non event really

Johnsonsfiat · 10/10/2019 17:10

As long as your daughter had fun it doesn't matter.

GinNotGym19 · 10/10/2019 17:17

I’m sure they are used to 18mo running riot.
My 20mo is like that, absolutely wild I do try and rein him in but most of the time people say oh leave him he’s fine. I do persist in reining him in though with varying degrees of success. They probs told her it was ok.

formerbabe · 10/10/2019 17:19

The photo thing is unacceptable though obviously...sorry missed that before.

HiJenny35 · 10/10/2019 17:21

You've got to be joking yes? An 18 month old was running round a nursery, this isn't an issue. Have you forgotten already what 18 m olds are like? She was excited and playing, get over yourself it wasn't your child's degree graduation ceremony.

AJPTaylor · 10/10/2019 17:30

Lol. Welcome to the world

8by8 · 10/10/2019 17:30

I’m honestly not sure what you think she could have done to stop an excited 18mo running around.

Mine are older now but for either of them
I could only have stopped that kind of thing by forcibly strapping them into a buggy (in which case they’d scream the place down and upset everybody) or giving them cartoons on my phone (presumably not allowed).

Do you have a very well behaved child by any chance? Some children are just wilder than others and at that age no attempt at discipline really works.

Original poster
rosewool · 10/10/2019 17:36

I get that the little girl was acting her age and it's not so much her behaviour that I was annoyed with as the fact that her mother was making absolutely no effort to get her to calm down.

On the upside dd did enjoy it and is now super excited to go back and the older girl was lovely so I guess that's what I should be concentrating on.

OP posts:
ColaFreezePop · 10/10/2019 17:36

You should have called her out on the photos there and then if they were an issue. You should have just said something loudly like "I didn't know we were allowed to take photos"

In regards to the younger child so what.

Cloudyyy · 10/10/2019 17:38

So an 18 month old ran excitedly around a nursery?

Slow news day.

PotteringAlong · 10/10/2019 17:40

Nursery is your childcare. Just because you have other options doesn’t mean she does.

VioletR · 10/10/2019 17:51

Sorry, how was the other mother being "selfish"?? You sound like an uptight snob. Good for you.

Original poster
rosewool · 10/10/2019 18:02

I have 4 young children, a husband who works offshore and no family family support nearby.
I have been in her situation plenty of times.
I've always made an effort to get them to calm down if they're behaving disruptively.

I can't think of any excuse to sit and do nothing while your child is throwing toys around and screaming at the top of their voice.

She wasn't busy with her older child. She was sat at the side of the classroom watching the older one play and completely ignoring her younger daughter.

OP posts:
legalseagull · 10/10/2019 19:46

"Behaving disruptively" What planet are you on? It's a nursery, not a library.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 10/10/2019 19:48

It's a nursery...

You've got a point with the pictures but not the rest of it.

Bellringer · 10/10/2019 20:14

Are they insured for children who are not at nursery. Staff are not responsible

Original poster
rosewool · 10/10/2019 20:51

She interrupted the organised activity several times and the teachers were constantly diverting their attention from their pupils to see to her.
If that's not disruptive, I don't know what is?

Should have also said it's a 3-5 years group, more structured and getting them ready for school than just childcare, so it's not like the teachers were going to be running about after tiny toddlers anyway

OP posts:
LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook · 10/10/2019 20:55

They're not teachers, it's not school. The staff obviously didn't mind and it won't happen once you're daughter is there will it? So what's the issue?

Northernlurker · 10/10/2019 21:14

Well your daughter will never get in to Oxbridge now her induction has been spoilt. What a feckless waster the other mother is. I hope her washing gets darked on and the supermarket sells out of naice ham before she gets there.

Do you feel better now op?

Runningonempty84 · 10/10/2019 21:16

Ha ha. How could you bring yourself to not only a) notice, but b) care, and c) post on MN about such a non-event?!

MintyMabel · 10/10/2019 21:41

My 20mo is like that, absolutely wild I do try and rein him in but most of the time people say oh leave him he’s fine.

They do? Who the hell are those people? Perhaps they are just being polite, or maybe your version of “wild” is actually pretty tame.

I have 4 young children, a husband who works offshore and no family family support nearby.

Oh aren’t you just a wonderful parent. And she’s so rubbish. I assume you can just bask in that and it will make you feel much better about it.

It really doesn’t make any difference to your life. It didn’t spoil your daughter’s day, the staff didn’t see it as a problem they needed to deal with, your AIBU is simply to slag off another parent.

MintyMabel · 10/10/2019 21:42

I hope her washing gets darked on

😂😂😂😂

TulipCat · 11/10/2019 02:34

If it didn't affect your daughter's enjoyment of her induction and this child won't actually be at nursery with yours, why are you even giving it any headspace?

OkPedro · 11/10/2019 02:43

Mn at its supportive best.. What a shithole this place has become..
op the staff should have intervened. I worked in preschool for 7 years before I had my children. For insurance reasons siblings would not have been allowed take part in a “settling in” period
Obviously the child was just being a child and no harm done but the mother would have irritated the shit out of me Grin

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