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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset by this comment

210 replies

Justanotherusernamemydear · 13/08/2019 22:57

Sat at work the joy of shift work and a male colleague of mine was making idle chit chat, and asked me my height. I said 5”6 why??
His reply? - “the average female is like, 5”4 isn’t it? So you’re a proper giant. When I look at you I’m shocked at how tall you are, you’re like a giant”. Confused he’s 5”10 and obviously taller than me, I don’t fully understand why he’s decided to say that to me? He’s normally really nice, and I suspect that he has a little crush (would never go anywhere as I’m in a long term relationship and don’t see him like that). He’s a 29 year old man, is this normal?
It’s actually really upset me. I’ve laughed it off and gone a bit quiet, but it’s really played on my insecurities. I’ve always felt really tall, even DP has asked me not to wear heels as it makes him feel short, so I don’t wear heels anymore...
AIBU to be upset at this comment? Am I a “giant”? Sad it’s made me feel like a great big lumbering oaf, and made me feel shit about myself.

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 13/08/2019 23:00

5’6” isn’t a giant but your colleague is a dick.
I’m 5’9” and never felt like a giant unless next to tiny wee old ladies.

HollaHolla · 13/08/2019 23:01

That’s such weird behaviour. I’d have thought 5’6” is pretty average in women under 60. I’m 5’9”, and occasionally feel super tall (my best pal is 5’ dead), but going on about being ‘a giant’ is weird and slightly offensive behaviour.

Tell him it’s not on, as you’re a bit upset by it. If he continues after that, then I would be telling the boss.....

KilburnOriginal · 13/08/2019 23:02

I'm 5 ft 5 and have always thought I was a bit short, so no you're by no means a giant. He's being weird!

Scruffalicious · 13/08/2019 23:03

I'm 6ft. You lot are teeny Grin

HennyPennyHorror · 13/08/2019 23:03

What? I'm 5.6 and I know it's an inch above average ....which is 5.5 by the way not 5.4. but I quite often feel short!

I live in Australia though where a lot of women are well over 5.6 and men over 6 feet. He obviously is a weirdo. Ignore him.

Skang · 13/08/2019 23:03

5'6 is hardly tall! How bizarre. It's certainly nowhere near tall enough to comment on. I'm 5'8 and have never felt tall, I feel average.

Merryoldgoat · 13/08/2019 23:04

A giant at 5’ 6”? You’re not even ‘tall’ at that height - just ‘normal’.

Sounds like clumsy flirting but I honestly can’t imagine how sensitive you must be to get upset by that.

pictish · 13/08/2019 23:04

Was he trying to be funny?

Pipandmum · 13/08/2019 23:06

5’6” is fairly normal. I wouldn’t consider it tall. No idea what he’s going on about saying you’re a ‘giant’. People don’t even say that to me and I’m 5’11”!

dollydaydream114 · 13/08/2019 23:06

What a dickhead and YANBU to be upset.

If you were really were very tall, I'd maybe think he just had zero social skills ... but you're really not. You're barely above average height and most people wouldn't even notice that a woman was 5'6". I'm short, and I wouldn't stand next to you and think 'Oh, this woman is tall'.

So, given that his rude remark wasn't even accurate, is sounds like classic 'negging' to me - it's a horrible pick-up artist technique where men essentially say negative things to women to get their attention and make them feel unsure of themselves. It's basically the same as some horrible little boy at primary school trying to get girl's attention by yanking her pigtails. It's obnoxious and immature. Avoid this pillock.

Constance1234 · 13/08/2019 23:07

This is seriously weird behaviour from your colleague, but I’m surprised you feel ‘really tall’ at 5”6 - I’m a tiny bit taller than you and have always felt like I am average height. Do you have lots of short people in your life? But in terms of your colleague’s comment it sounds like he just blurted out something strange as he feels awkward around you because of his little crush on you!

Bloodless · 13/08/2019 23:07

I think your an average height. I get jokes because of my height (or lack there of) all the time - doesn’t bother me.

It sounds like clumsy teasing that boys do when they fancy you

NoSauce · 13/08/2019 23:07

You’re not tall OP. 5”6 is a nice height, just about right. Not sure why he’s call you a giant though, that’s just odd.

Allinadaystwerk · 13/08/2019 23:08

I'm 5'10 when I get negative comments i say 'maybe you think I'm massive/lanky/freakishly tall because you are on the small side' or ' I often wonder if I would say that if I was a small person like you.. usually stops the men in their tracks. Rarely get stupid comments like that from females... funny that

CanuckBC · 13/08/2019 23:10

5’6 is definitely not a giant! I am 5’10 and I still wear heels! F’ anyone who isn’t confident enough to be around me in them! I love wearing them, they make my Uber long legs (36 inch inseam) look fantastic.

Wear heels if you want. Tell your partner to suck it up! Seriously, is he short and have a complex?!? Heels are fun and sexy and can make a woman feel good when wearing them for herself. Don’t wear or not wear them for someone else.

I think the guy was just being awkward. Tell him so.

Original poster
Justanotherusernamemydear · 13/08/2019 23:11

I don’t understand what he was getting at with the comment either, if it was clumsy flirting then it seems a bit childish to insult someone when you fancy them.
I’m not normally so sensitive, but this is something that I’ve been made to feel rubbish about my whole life. All through school I was called lanky, teachers would comment on me being tall, my friends would. Like I mentioned before, DP thinks I’m too tall. It’s just one of those things that I’ve very paranoid about so having someone point it out in an unkind way has upset me!
It’s just a dick move to comment on something that people have no control over.

OP posts:
theorchidwhisperer · 13/08/2019 23:11

He probably has a height complex being only 5'10.

Years ago a male friend of mine kept calling my then 12 year old a giant. This was because he was 5'9 and my son was quickly growing and almost as tall. He stopped at a respectable 5'11.

It always annoyed me that he constantly needed to make me feel my son was in some way very different.

But thinking back, it was my friend that had the issues with his own height. He was trying to make out it was others being giant and not him being short!

Your colleague might be the same.

You are very average height not at all tall.

Allinadaystwerk · 13/08/2019 23:11

I love my height btw...so should you. Good things come in all size packages

Corneliusmurphy · 13/08/2019 23:12

I’m 5’10, honestly the only shitty comments I have had have been from (some) men who are shorter than me. They have been almost aggressive about it? Really odd - it’s something you absolutely can’t help? And they act like you’ve done it to spite them.
Usually I am much appreciated by little old ladies in Tesco Grin

Courtney555 · 13/08/2019 23:12

You're virtually bang on average height.

The fact he's picking something that by definition is average, and trying to act like it's an extreme, for his own amusement? That's a reflection on him. Not you.

Don't give it a second thought.

Allinadaystwerk · 13/08/2019 23:13

5'6 is short in our house!

kidsdoingmyheadin · 13/08/2019 23:14

I would think you were average. I’m just under 5ft 9 & only really feel tall when wearing heels. I used to do some modelling & I was a short arse compared to the other girls!

Treem · 13/08/2019 23:15

Hmm, maybe he has a height complex himself. You should have made a remark about men under 6 foot being quite short.

Not sure why this would bother you. I'm 5ft 1 and would love a few extra inches.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 13/08/2019 23:15

"It's rude to make comments about other people's appearance" ought to cover it.

Original poster
Justanotherusernamemydear · 13/08/2019 23:16

Thank you all for the kind comments, I feel silly for getting so down about it but it wasn’t a nice thing to say and it’s ruined the rest of my shift by putting me in a funny mood. I don’t think I want him to speak to me anymore if all he’s going to do is pick fault with my appearance Confused

OP posts: