Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset by this comment

210 replies

Justanotherusernamemydear · 13/08/2019 22:57

Sat at work the joy of shift work and a male colleague of mine was making idle chit chat, and asked me my height. I said 5”6 why??
His reply? - “the average female is like, 5”4 isn’t it? So you’re a proper giant. When I look at you I’m shocked at how tall you are, you’re like a giant”. Confused he’s 5”10 and obviously taller than me, I don’t fully understand why he’s decided to say that to me? He’s normally really nice, and I suspect that he has a little crush (would never go anywhere as I’m in a long term relationship and don’t see him like that). He’s a 29 year old man, is this normal?
It’s actually really upset me. I’ve laughed it off and gone a bit quiet, but it’s really played on my insecurities. I’ve always felt really tall, even DP has asked me not to wear heels as it makes him feel short, so I don’t wear heels anymore...
AIBU to be upset at this comment? Am I a “giant”? Sad it’s made me feel like a great big lumbering oaf, and made me feel shit about myself.

OP posts:
user1473878824 · 14/08/2019 00:51

Also I think your DP needs a proper talking to.

Chocmallows · 14/08/2019 01:21

Your issue is definitely your partner. You and flirty mate on a shift he calls you a giant when you're about average, instead of joking back or confidentally telling him where to go you feel highly insecure as your DP has given you an issue.

Has he given you other issues or just this one?
What does this tell you about his insecurities if he has to make you feel insecure?

Mileysmiley · 14/08/2019 01:32

5'6" is the average height of most women and so is size 5 shoe. I am 5'5 1/2" and take a size 6 shoe. Some men like short women, some men like tall women, some like blondes some like etc. It is a good job they don't all like the same type of woman or there wouldn't be enough men to go around.

1forAll74 · 14/08/2019 01:52

I am 5ft 2ins, and would like to be 5ft 6ins. so you are perfect.
But would never get upset by those odd ball comments anyway.

Graphista · 14/08/2019 02:03

He's a dick! With a complex about his own height HIS problem not yours and your partner sounds little better!

I'm 5'2" (well last time I was measured dd and I both think I've lost at least an inch since then!) so I get all the short jokes, doesn't bother me on that score. DOES bother me that the world, especially supermarkets and kitchens aren't designed for people shorter than about your height actually come to think of it, when most women (who lets face it are still the ones mostly using kitchens and supermarkets) if I need something from a higher shelf in my own kitchen I have to ask dd to get it down.

Dd (partly due to her disability) is already several inches over 6' (we ought to get her measured really) and towers over all her female friends and most of her male ones too! Her current boyfriend is 2/3 inches shorter than her but it doesn't phase him.

I've dated men of all heights, including a 6.5ft rugby player who could easily dangle me from his upper arm as a bit of a "party piece" and a guy who was only 5'3" who after our first few dates assured me I could wear heels if I wished, he'd noticed I'd stick to flats in a misguided effort not to embarrass him (poor advice from my mum) that it didn't bother him in the slightest. He was a very confident, Self assured man and laughed off any comments idiots made.

Friends/family vary from about 4'10" to around 6.5 ft (her husband is 5'10" and on their wedding day the photographer kept trying "tricks" to make them at least look about same height - they told him to cut it out not necessary. Husband is a lovely easy going but again confident man)

Decent, confident men aren't bothered by nonsense like this.

notangelinajolie · 14/08/2019 02:19

5' 6" is not tall and you know it. Seriously? You are upset at this?

Chocmallows · 14/08/2019 02:31

Notangelina if her DP hadn't created a complex for her I bet she could have laughed at the joke.

AnotherAdultHumanFemale · 14/08/2019 02:47

It's male insecurity about height plus possibly him 'negging' you as rubbish way of flirting. 5'6 is only slightly above UK average height for a woman and not a 'giant' in the slightest.

Certain men are always going on about how women won't date men under 6 foot (despite a tonne of evidence to the contrary) so he's probably one of those men. He probably sees you not being super short as a 'threat' to his fragile ego.

I'd go into work in high heels and say 'actually, I realised last night that I'm 5'7' then swan off fabulously.

Mileysmiley · 14/08/2019 02:50

@AnotherAdultHumanFemale

My other half is 5'10" which is average for a male.. I don't get why some women need to date men over 6ft ... because they then end up giving birth to big babies which can cause complications. A friend of mine has a husband who is 6'3" and her baby son was over 10lbs. ouch!

RonaldMcDonald · 14/08/2019 03:20

I was 5 10.5 - I felt a giant through school
Now I feel normal
He sounds a giant arse in a small man body

Aus84 · 14/08/2019 03:22
  1. Your not a giant. I'm 5'4 exactly and I'm one of the shortest adults I know. My 12 year old daughters friends are the same height as me.
  1. Sounds like a flirting/teasing to me. He just picked a stupid topic and went with it (and messed it up by the sounds of it).
Durgasarrow · 14/08/2019 03:41

Five foot four is average and it's not a subject you need to discuss. You're not a "giant." It's inappropriate.

oatmilk4breakfast · 14/08/2019 03:57

Possibly ‘negging’? Deliberately making negative comments about a woman in order to make them feel insecure and in theory more likely to turn to man to relieve feeling of vulnerability. It’s very dickish behaviour. Sorry x

NobleRot · 14/08/2019 04:29

You’ve got two neggers in your life, OP.

Like some pps, I’m astonished you’ve had comments about being tall — I’m 5 foot 6’ and no one has ever remarked on it as ‘tall’ in all my 47 years...

Constance1234 · 14/08/2019 06:30

Having read you updates, it sounds like your partner is a prize twerp with short man syndrome. He has given you a complex and that is unforgivable.

Mehmehmeh19 · 14/08/2019 06:41

I'm 6ft with with size 8 feet.
A lovely man once said to me you need at least size 8 feet to balance you out or you'd fall over.

It does sound like dp is the issue.

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/08/2019 06:46

5f6 tall? That’s what I am and im def not tall.

Sounds like the man is short to me at 5f10

Most I know are 6ft +

He’s using his own self image to make himself feel better

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/08/2019 06:48

And my feet are now 7 sometimes 7.5/8 depending on style of shoe after giving birth. Was 6

Partner sounds a prat !!

Luaa · 14/08/2019 06:50

The average is 5ft3, which surprised me when I looked it up. I'm 5ft5 and alive never felt close to tall, in fact a couple of my colleagues tease me about being short, but they are quite tall.

floribunda18 · 14/08/2019 06:52

Sounds like a dose of short man syndrome, even if he is 5'10".

Cannyhandleit · 14/08/2019 06:53

5'6" is not tall, definitely not even close to giant size! This is a classic case of pulling pigtails in the playground!

Bluntness100 · 14/08/2019 06:55

Honestly I think you're both being a bit odd. You're fairly average height and his comments were ludicrous. He sound a bit thIck.

I'm five eight, my daughter is five nine, I used to go everywhere in four inch heels. I don't feel I'm particularly tall.

It's all a bit stupid really, you're a fairly average height woman. You must spend time with women outwith your family. As such you must know this. And he just sounds thick as mince.

Namaste6 · 14/08/2019 06:57

Hi OP - the only 'lumbering oaf' was the idiot colleague. Previous poster has mentioned short man syndrome and they are correct! 5'6" is a beautiful height. I would wear heels deliberately and stand over your colleague as you have idle chit chat!!!! Put him back in his teeny tiny short box😁

Ohyesiam · 14/08/2019 06:58

He’s negging you.
Give him a wide birth and be grateful for everything about yourself

AnyFucker · 14/08/2019 06:59

I think both your partner and work colleague have tiny dicks

And you are being very silly to obsess about being "too tall" at 5ft 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread