Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset by this comment

210 replies

Justanotherusernamemydear · 13/08/2019 22:57

Sat at work the joy of shift work and a male colleague of mine was making idle chit chat, and asked me my height. I said 5”6 why??
His reply? - “the average female is like, 5”4 isn’t it? So you’re a proper giant. When I look at you I’m shocked at how tall you are, you’re like a giant”. Confused he’s 5”10 and obviously taller than me, I don’t fully understand why he’s decided to say that to me? He’s normally really nice, and I suspect that he has a little crush (would never go anywhere as I’m in a long term relationship and don’t see him like that). He’s a 29 year old man, is this normal?
It’s actually really upset me. I’ve laughed it off and gone a bit quiet, but it’s really played on my insecurities. I’ve always felt really tall, even DP has asked me not to wear heels as it makes him feel short, so I don’t wear heels anymore...
AIBU to be upset at this comment? Am I a “giant”? Sad it’s made me feel like a great big lumbering oaf, and made me feel shit about myself.

OP posts:
MyElbowIsItchy · 14/08/2019 07:04

You are average height. I don’t know where you got the idea you’re tall from? Not unless you come from a ‘short’ family.

I’d be more concerned that you allow this colleague’s comment upset you rather than a dp who doesn’t want you wearing heels as it makes him feel small.....that’s where your anxiety comes from.

WhyBirdStop · 14/08/2019 07:04

This is very strange 5'6 really isn't tall. It's average. It's almost like you want to be seen as tall?

TheGoogleMum · 14/08/2019 07:07

I don't think of 5'6 as particularly tall, I'm under 5' so to an extent everyone is tall to me, but only enough to find people surprisingly tall when getting to about 6' really!

WhyBirdStop · 14/08/2019 07:07

Fwiw I'm 5'9 and an taller than everyone in my immediate biological family, DF and DB are 5'7, DM is 5ft. DH is 6'4. If anyone ever jokes about us being tall, I just say at least I don't need a step to reach my own kitchen cupboards (DM) or that DH is very useful for changing lightbulbs. It's not something to be upset by!

MollysMummy2010 · 14/08/2019 07:08

5’6 is not tall. I am 5’3 and I am short. My nine year old is almost as tall as me. At work most of my female colleagues are at least 5’6 or taller.

AuntieMarys · 14/08/2019 07:13

Your DH sounds a charmer.
He is the problem here.

Ce7913 · 14/08/2019 07:14
  1. He was totally negging you. Don't you dare give him the satisfaction of doubting yourself.
  1. How bizarre that you've had so many 'tall' comments at 5'6". Either you shot up early and then levelled out, or you just know an awful lot of shorter people.

5'6" is entirely average, at most it's at the slightly high side of average. Not a noteworthy height here in Australia at all: if I saw you in a crowded street, your height wouldn't even register to me as anything outside the norm.

(Just in case you imagine I'm biased: I'm 4'11, 5' on a tall day; every single one of my four younger sisters were taller than my adult height by the time they were 12.)

  1. Your husband is a jackass for making you feel self-conscious or bad about your height.
Celebelly · 14/08/2019 07:17

I think I'd be more upset about your 'D'P's attitude towards it and the fact you 'can't' wear heels rather than a silly comment from a colleague tbh. Your DP says you are 'too tall'?!

Furrydogmum · 14/08/2019 07:18

Do you think your partner's hang up makes it worse? Look up Sophie Dahl and Jamie Cullum - they rock their height difference!

ALittleBitAlexis · 14/08/2019 07:19

I don't know how anyone who exists in the world could think 5'6 is tall.

Your partner is the problem, I'm 5'4 with size 6 feet and they don't look clown-like at all, they're totally normal! And my husband is also 5'4 and has no problem with me wearing heels, it's not even slightly an issue.

Furrydogmum · 14/08/2019 07:20

*hadn't seen all the other dp comments as my phone skipped 4 pages! Your partner is the problem..

xTinkerhellx · 14/08/2019 07:20

Did you go to school with hobbits?? I was 5'8 in year 7 and I wasn't the only one. I don't see how teachers and other students would have said you're too tall and lanky at 5'6.

I think you might need to move out of the Shire then you'd find you are perfectly average and no one will comment on your height.

Lexilooo · 14/08/2019 07:22

I'm 5ft8, my husband calls me a short arse!

You really aren't remotely tall OP, loads of younger women are well over 6ft these days.

These men are taking out their own insecurities on you. Next time laugh and tell them that only short arses would think someone of such very normal height is tall.

Nothingcomesforfree · 14/08/2019 07:22

You feel like a lumbering oaf?
Need to get yourself playing a sport like netball, basketball or rugby where tall is an advantage ( and you would see that you aren’t even vaguely approaching tall let alone giant).

KUGA · 14/08/2019 07:26

I think he was being flirtatious.
He works with you and has never seen you stand up.
What a fool.
Ignore himthere is nothing wrong with your height.
I`m just under 5ft -4" ,and I would rather be a little taller but that's life.

lovelookslikethis · 14/08/2019 07:27

He has short man syndrome, and your ability/beauty is making him feel intimidated. Shut him down instantly, and don't laugh things off, just walk away the next time he is rude, and consider reporting him to a line manager.

He may fancy you, but he is also threatened by you. Watch out.

Don't put up with anymore personal comments, and call him out immediately. Distant yourself day to day, he has become way to familiar and you need to set some boundaries.

You are nothing like a giant, my 13 dd is 5ft 7 and she is not even the tallest girl in her class, but the point is not your size, it is his insecurity.

NeatFreakMama · 14/08/2019 07:28

Agree with PP, you're not tall. I'm 5'6" and never felt anything but average height really. My husband is smaller but couldn't give a toss if I wear heels or not, ours heights don't matter to us.

I also agree he was probably trying to flirt but got it wrong! Your DH is a bit mean making it an issue.

FenellaMaxwell · 14/08/2019 07:29

You must be aware that you are very average height so it’s ridiculous to get upset about this.

CatteStreet · 14/08/2019 07:32

Never mind whether you're tall, short or average. Why do you feel it's a problem for a woman to be tall? I envy tall women, not that my opinion of any particular person matters.

DaveCoachesgavemetheclap · 14/08/2019 07:32

I'm 5'7 and consider myself a normal height for a woman- in fact, I wish i were a couple of inches taller! 5'6 is definitely not a giant. Confused

BettysWoo · 14/08/2019 07:32

I'm 5'6" and I'm not a giant. He's clearly talking nonsense. Ignore him

starfishcoffee · 14/08/2019 07:32

How weird. I'm 5ft4 and I often feel quite short in comparison to my friends who are on average your height/slightly taller. Confused

SallyWD · 14/08/2019 07:33

I'm between 5ft7 and 8 and not a giant. Haven't you noticed this new generation of women is much taller? I used to feel tall but not anymore. I see loads of tennagers and women in their 20s who tower over me. I think he was just trying to be funny and failed don't take it personally.

NerrSnerr · 14/08/2019 07:35

Does your partner tell you what clothes to wear? Who you can or cannot see? What you eat for your tea?

Why should he decide if you wear heals or not? Tell him to fuck off and wear what you like.

BlackSwan · 14/08/2019 07:37

He's pushing his height insecurities (he feels he's too short for a man) on to you! If you're 'too tall' that would make him, relatively, not 'too short'. He's a loser, and you need to own your height lady. DP doesn't like you in heels? Tell him to get over it. You're not Nicole Kidman to his Tom Cruise.