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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset by this comment

210 replies

Justanotherusernamemydear · 13/08/2019 22:57

Sat at work the joy of shift work and a male colleague of mine was making idle chit chat, and asked me my height. I said 5”6 why??
His reply? - “the average female is like, 5”4 isn’t it? So you’re a proper giant. When I look at you I’m shocked at how tall you are, you’re like a giant”. Confused he’s 5”10 and obviously taller than me, I don’t fully understand why he’s decided to say that to me? He’s normally really nice, and I suspect that he has a little crush (would never go anywhere as I’m in a long term relationship and don’t see him like that). He’s a 29 year old man, is this normal?
It’s actually really upset me. I’ve laughed it off and gone a bit quiet, but it’s really played on my insecurities. I’ve always felt really tall, even DP has asked me not to wear heels as it makes him feel short, so I don’t wear heels anymore...
AIBU to be upset at this comment? Am I a “giant”? Sad it’s made me feel like a great big lumbering oaf, and made me feel shit about myself.

OP posts:
cheeseislife8 · 13/08/2019 23:16

I don't know why people feel the need to comment. I'm 5'11" and one of my Mum's friends ALWAYS comments on it.

Ignore him!

HollowTalk · 13/08/2019 23:17

Are you actually taller than 5'6"? This is just too weird otherwise. Measure yourself, OP!

cheeseislife8 · 13/08/2019 23:17

"It's rude to make comments about other people's appearance" ought to cover it.

In fact I'm stealing this!

pigsDOfly · 13/08/2019 23:18

'You're a proper idiot, when I listen to you I'm shocked at how stupid you sound' would have been my response.

I'm just over 5ft 6, I've never felt particularly tall, just around average.

My exh was 5ft 7 and I always wore heel because that what I liked to wear. He never complained that it made him feel short and had he said that I would have ignored it. I wouldn't change what I want to wear to accommodate someone else's insecurities.

You're not some sort of lumbering oaf. You're a woman of very slightly above average height.

Why are you letting the stupid ramblings of some idiot at work get to you? Even if you were a foot taller you still would be 'a proper giant'.

Catalicious · 13/08/2019 23:19

That is so odd that you have had so many comments about your height, because 5'6 is just medium height! I am 5'6 too, and have never ever had anyone say that was tall!!

Original poster
Justanotherusernamemydear · 13/08/2019 23:19

No I’m 5”6, I’ve measured myself a few times. Well, 5”6.3 to be exact.
I’ve just remembered another thing he said after his charming comment. He wondered if I wore heels to work as I look so tall.
This is what’s weird! I know my height, it hasn’t changed in 10 years, but he’s making me feel like I’m the green giant!!!

OP posts:
Speakercube · 13/08/2019 23:20

I'm the same height OP and have always considered it an average height for a woman. The man's a dick and your dp is wrong- he obviously feels he's too short for a guy and has issues. Ignore on both accounts. Your height is perfect.. flounce.... Smile

HollowTalk · 13/08/2019 23:20

Just say, "The problem is that you are short, not that I'm tall."

PumpkinP · 13/08/2019 23:21

I’m 5ft 3 when I was talking to someone about this he said he was really surprised and thought I was about 5ft8 for some reason it really bugged me, so I can see where you’re coming from yanbu

PrincessMaryaBolkonskaya · 13/08/2019 23:22

I’m 5’6” and feel pretty short to average most of the time. How tall is your partner OP?

Original poster
Justanotherusernamemydear · 13/08/2019 23:23

I was always the tallest out of my friend group who were 5”3 and smaller. DM is 5”4 but says she’s 5”5 DP is 5”9, his DM is 5”2, his Dad is 5”7ish. All of my female family members are roughly 5”4ish. Maybe I need to make some taller friends and ditch the short ones (joking!).

OP posts:
kalinkafoxtrot45 · 13/08/2019 23:23

You’re just averagely tall. Sounds like he has a chip on his shoulder, the idiot.

VenusTiger · 13/08/2019 23:24

@Justanotherusernamemydear sorry, but your DP has planted this seed....

Sparklfairy · 13/08/2019 23:24

'i suppose I am a giant, to a man of your ... Stature...'

nameonhat · 13/08/2019 23:25

I don't think it was bad and 5'6 seems pretty average for loads of women I know. I think you being too over sensitive here.

VforVienetta · 13/08/2019 23:25

He's a very weird person.
The official average height is 5'4", but it'd be thoroughly weird to think that anything a few inches either way of that is even of note.
Most of my friends range between 5.2-5.10, and I'm half an inch taller than you and have never thought myself tall! Technically taller than average, but not enough to pass comment on.
Perhaps he has a complex about his (completely normal) height and is just trying to bolster himself? Still weird.

Original poster
Justanotherusernamemydear · 13/08/2019 23:25

Gosh I’ve just realised I’ve being putting “ instead of ‘ Blush

OP posts:
kidsdoingmyheadin · 13/08/2019 23:25

Maybe he was doing that childish thing of insulting you because he likes you.

MrsDimmond · 13/08/2019 23:25

I have no idea what he was on about but judging from your reaction and subsequent post, is it possible you heard something slightly different from what he said.

I can't imagine why you woukd have received so many comments about your height, being only 5ft 6 Confused Thats so close to average.

I'm 5 10 and regard myself as tall but, not exceptional.

My dd's generation are all much taller than my generation. Many young women 6ft and over.

Original poster
Justanotherusernamemydear · 13/08/2019 23:28

That’s what I don’t get. I’ve had so many comments over the years that I’m tall that it’s made me feel like 5’6 is gargantuan! Which it isn’t, but I’m sick of people commenting. I’ve been measured by doctors and that weight machine that takes your height so I know I’m not crazy and I’m not actually a hulking 6’7 bruiser.

OP posts:
24hourshomeedderandcarer · 13/08/2019 23:28

im 6ft with 35 inch legs and size 12,sometimes a 13 shoe size, im even bigger than him(yes im female)

i would have told him he was acting odd and have said about my teenager being way bigger than him already and my 9 y old

my 14 y old is 6ft 2 and my just 9 y old is 5ft 3 already,so no idea how big when both reaches full puberty

MaryPeary · 13/08/2019 23:29

It sounds like he's a bit socially awkward, but it's utterly bizarre that you'd be upset by him saying that. Just... Why?! You know you're not weirdly tall, he knows you're not weirdly tall, he's awkward and made an inane remark. Frankly even if you were "a giant" few people would consider that offensive.

Drogosnextwife · 13/08/2019 23:29

I'm 5 ft 10 and sometimes wear up to 4 inch heels now because I don't give a fuck what people think anymore and my dp is still taller than me with 4 inch heels.
Men have always commented on my height, especially smaller men, they must feel intimidated. Now I just tell them I'm not that tall, I think you're quite small for a man though.

cakeandchampagne · 13/08/2019 23:30

@bloodless said it well:
“It sounds like clumsy teasing that boys do when they fancy you”
I don’t think he meant to hurt your feelings or upset you.

Tracklements · 13/08/2019 23:30

Well he sounds like a right charmer, doesn't he?