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AIBU? stop answering calls cos I'm sick of telling people I'm still not in labour?

32 replies

Moorhen · 26/07/2007 12:42

I am now 12 days overdue and going in to be induced tonight (and absolutely gutted/terrified about it).

If just one more person rings me today to ask if there's any news yet I am going to really start snarling or snivelling. Could be either.

Two friends have rung today, another two have emailed. My sister has just called 3 times in the space of ten minutes. I have not answered any of them, because the only thing I can say is "NO, there is NO NEWS, and you know it. The reason you know it is I WOULD HAVE CALLED TO TELL YOU if there was."

I do appreciate everyone's concern, and I know it is unreasonable to resent it, but after a certain point (like 12 days of constant calls!!!) it just feels like pressure and that you're a failure for not popping the baby out last week/needing help to go into labour at all.

OP posts:

LilRedWG · 26/07/2007 12:42

Unplug your phone and have a cuppa!


LilRedWG · 26/07/2007 12:43

PS - good luck for tonight


flowerybeanbag · 26/07/2007 12:45

record a message saying 'no, baby's not here yet and I am having a lie-down'
Best of luck tonight


Nbg · 26/07/2007 12:45

Oh its soooo annoying isnt it.

When I had ds last year I went 10 days over and from my due date onwards, everyone and their mother called me countless times in the day.

I just made dh answer the phone otherwise if I ignored it they became more persistant thinking something had happened.

Good luck with the induction.


auntyspan · 26/07/2007 12:46

Yes I remember that. I went 10 days over and eventually just let the answerphone pick up the calls.

"Hi Auntyspan, MIL / FIL / Sister / other sister / best friend / BIL (delete as appropriate) here - just wondered if you were having any twinges yet? Gosh lets hope this baby makes an appearance soon - you must be so fed.... call me......"



auntyspan · 26/07/2007 12:47

yes - good luck for tonight, don't be terrified, it's not actually that bad.....


lulumama · 26/07/2007 12:47

best of luck for tonight !

am sorry that you are really might not be as bad as you think

it might be that one dose of gel gets you going...

especially as you have had lots of twinges

labour can be a lot about mind over matter... it think it is really important to try to go into labour in a positive mindset...ready to meet your baby...think of it as a journey, with the most wonderful prize at the end, when you reach your destination, there will be your baby waiting for you

you need to work with your body, and get into a frame of mind where you are ready and prepared for this

change your a/p to say

'no baby news, am enjoying peace and quiet, while i can,will call when baby arrives...'

do not answer the phone to anyone !!

try to relax, take a bath, do a really strong visualisation and let your anxieties go .


PinkChick · 26/07/2007 12:58

unfortunatly if you dont answer the phone, they will keep ringing as theyll think you HAVE gone in and will be frantically ringing everyone else!
we bought a new answer phone and recorded, hi this is x and x, please choose from the foloowing options.option one if you are ringing to sell us something, go away, we'd ring you if we wanted anything..option two, if you are ringing to ask if by bump has morfed into child yet?, then no it hasnt go away...option three, if you are a nice friend who doesnt want to know for the millionth time if i have had the baby or to tell me it will be ANY DAY NOW, then please leave a amessage and well come out from behind sofa and ring you back


Moorhen · 26/07/2007 12:59

I was actually doing OK, lulumama, until y'day evening.

I think a combination of the day arriving (and with three sweeps, all these twinges and being 3cm dilated, my midwife never thought I'd make it this far so didn't seriously think it would) and having to talk about it/reassure all these different people, including my mum, has just made it loom even larger.

If it does start easily, does that make the whole cascade of intervention less likely?

I have been trying to visualise a nice quick easy birth, I suppose I'm just rubbish at it...

OP posts:

PinkChick · 26/07/2007 13:02

if you are induced with sytocin(drip) it will all be over wuickly, i had this as my waters broke with no strong contractions..good luck chick


fedupwasherwoman · 26/07/2007 13:05

Loving that idea pinkchick

something similar would be good for after the birth too,

a)if you're ringing to try and sell us something, thanks for waking our new baby up - NOW GO AWAY.

b) if you're friends/family ringing for news, baby x was born on y weighing z, mother and baby doing fine and we are taking a few days to be by ourselves and get to know baby x, we will contact people/change this message when we are ready to start receiving visitors. Thanks for calling.


PinkChick · 26/07/2007 13:14

good idea for afterwards, but be prepared for fall outs as family(well mine anyway) thought they had a god given right to call round anytime day or night to see dd(less than 24hrs after i had her i had 12 people in my house and some stayed till 11pm while i was failing terribly at breast feeding and had no sleep or food..we asked them to give us a week to sort ourselves out and the majority fell out with us!..fools!


foxybrown · 26/07/2007 13:17

Turn the phone off.


CountessDracula · 26/07/2007 13:18

Don't be gutted/terrifed please!

But do be aware that being induced doesn't necessarily mean you will have a baby by the next day. I thought this and was sorely disappointed when it took 8 days

I think I was an exceptional case though - however don't worry about hte actual induction it is fine xxx


lulumama · 26/07/2007 13:18

might just need your waters breaking

stop thinking you are rubbish at this ! you;ve never done it before, so how can you be rubbish at it??

banish all this to be positive, and strong..

you can absolutely do this


bohemianbint · 26/07/2007 13:22

I remember this, I was exactly the same and got so bloody ratty with everyone when I went overdue! MIL kept complaining that SIL would be very disappointed if I didn't have the baby while she was up to stay - I mean, FFS!

Anyway, sod 'em, can youget someone to fend em off for you? Turn your phone of, go and get your head down for a bit and best of luck! Sure you'll be grand, I quite enjoyed the whole birth thing!


Elasticwoman · 26/07/2007 14:18

Yes, I do think you're being unreasonable. Of course people want to know if you've had the baby. Would you prefer that your family and friends were not interested? And if you had already given birth, you might not get round to letting every one know straight away, not every one is that efficient.

Mind you, at 12 days overdue it is entirely reasonable that you are being unreasonable. Good luck with the birth - my friend had an induced birth after a caesarean first time round and it went well. Relax, remember gravity is your friend and look forward to meeting your baby.


NadineBaggott · 26/07/2007 14:19

Yes you are.

You'd soon be moaning if no-one rang. People are interested be nice!


MrsScavo · 26/07/2007 14:22

YANBU! Poor you!


LittleMissLate · 26/07/2007 14:24

Ignore the calls - they can wait!!! I went in to be induced but went into labour spontaneously while I was waiting for the doctor to get to me - very relieved not to have the induction and not to have the worry about getting to hospital as I was already there! Fingers crossed for this evening - I remember how scary it was going in & was in tears but midwives were very reassuring - good luck...


RedTartanLass · 26/07/2007 14:30

Know how you feel was in your psotion with my last 2 pregnancies!

However you should be really, really grateful that you have people who love and care for you enough to find out how you are.

I used to give a morning update by txt to everyone. "Yes I'm still here, everything ok. Don't worry will def call when something happens"

Mind you didn't stop them calling!

So yes i do think YABU!!


diplodocus · 26/07/2007 14:31

I went 12 days over and can completely sympathise. Everyone seemed to think we'd had the baby and just hadn't bothered to let them know - ILs ringing with hurt messages saying "why haven't you rung us?". Just what you really don't want. Did my head in. Good luck tonight.


numptysmummy · 26/07/2007 14:36

Not unreasonable at all! While they may all care they should realise that you will give them news when there is some! I went 19 and 21 days over with 2 of mine.I'd had an emergency c-section and didn't want an induction but i had 1 attempt with gel(only thing i was allowed cos of scar rupture) and it was fine. I didn't find the pain any worse than my other labours.


Mumpbump · 26/07/2007 14:43

I was 3 cm dilated so they just broke my waters. The contractions kicked in within about 15 minutes and ds was born 8 hours later. I did have an epidural because I got the urge to push before I was fully dilated and they said if they didn't give me something, it would make the labour harder and longer. And I had an episiotomy as they were going to use a ventouse to get ds out as his heartrate dropped, but in the end he came out without that. So, induction doesn't mean you will get more intervention.

I seem to remember someone saying you can ask to be monitored intermittently and I was able to move around and change positions quite a bit.


laundrylover · 26/07/2007 14:52


I went 10 days over with DD2 and it was such a pain with the phonecalls. If I ever got up the duff again I would be tempted to move my due date on 10 days!!

Anyway, both times I got stuck at 4 cm, after 3 days first time, and once they popped by waters and broke the membranes the girls flew out in an hour and a half. Basically they were trampolining for hours trying in vain to exit!!

Hope all goes well tonight...just think that by weekend you'll be snuggled up with your baby and then you'll have to ward off vistors instead of phonecalls.

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