AIBU to be sad and disheartened

[sadanddisheartened]

My wonderful Mum was unexpectedly diagnosed with lung cancer which has spread to her brain. This was a month ago and we are just coming to terms with it now. She has been told that she will have months rather than years. My sister firmly believes in the thc oil which is a cannabis product. Despite my mum having a firm no stance with drugs she has been taking this from we found out. It is expensive at around £500 a month, but she feels better and so the money will be found for it.
I started a go fund me page which I thought my friends would be happy to help with, everyone kept saying if we can do anything at all to help just let us know and then promptly vanished. A few family members have donated which really helped, but only 5 friends.
I always helped them with their various appeal pages and just feel sad that no one has bothered to return the favour. When it was shared on Facebook I explained that even £1 would be great so not asking for big amounts.
My parents done so much for my friends growing up and even now would help anyone of them that needed.
I feel sad and whether it is justified or not, like all the help my parents gave is just being thrown back in their faces.
Please give me a kick up the bum

I don't think I've ever contributed to a go fund me. If a friend needed help I'd help - even with money (if i had it) but i don't think I'd even notice a go fund me appeal - there are so many of them and sponsorship stuff buzzing around social media i sort of don't even see them. Doesn't mean i dont care, just means I havent contribute cash on line. Have you spoken to any of the people you feel might want to contribute? They might not have seen/understood/appreciated what you are trying to do.
I'm really sorry to hear about your mum

Have you talked to your mums oncologist to ask if this can be prescribed?

Boom45 I haven't asked anyone. Pride I suppose but it still seems a bit like begging to me. With the page it was a bit faceless so easier, although I suppose that makes it easier to ignore too.

Sugarplumfairy65 I didn't think that was a possibility. We do tell every medical professional we come into contact with that she is using it just in case it would interfere with any test results and no on has ever mentioned it to us being available on the NHS

Im sorry that you are in this situation.

My belief is this is snake oil treatment, you are being conned. Undoubtedly you will have friends and family that feel the same, so they wont contribute. If you were asking for help for something specific like piece of equipment or a trip then they probably would contribute.

Again, a Go fund Me is a begging page, I don't contribute to them.

YABVU to expect offers of help to be financial.

As of 1 Novemebr 2018 - restrictions were lifted

The medicines can only be prescribed by a specialist doctor – not a GP – on a case-by-case basis. New NHS guidance says a decision to prescribe cannabis products should only be made where other treatment options have been exhausted.

So if your mother is having other treatments and drug therapy on the NHS, cannabis will not be prescribed

Controversial the old cannabis to aid comfort. Some are truely against it.

But I too hate donations and aid pleas and never contribute.

Sorry to hear about your mum.

But I wouldn't contribute to this treatment either. Your mum is refusing drugs prescribed by her oncologist, but is instead using oil because someone told her it's good stuff?

Have you got good palliative care for your mum? Think that might help more than this, they can offer complementary therapies there for your mum as well. Sorry to hear.

Hi OP, just wanted to say sorry about your mum. I think people around you definitely care even though they don't donate. As someone else has said, there are so many go fund me pages online that some don't bother with them but this is not a reflection in any way as to whether people care or not. Sending you hugs

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this with your Mum. You must be devastated. But, unfortunately, Social Media is littering with fundraising requests these days so I can see why your friends’ might not have contributed - I’m absolutely sure it doesn’t mean they don’t care. When they offered help they may have meant more practical/ emotionally. I hope you get the support you need

UnicornBrexit I'm sort of 50/50 on the snake oil. I don't think it will be the miracle cure but it is helping my mum to stay calm and accepting so for that alone it is worth the money. I agree with the begging aspect of the page, but honestly if you seen some of the pages my friends share around it would stun you.

DonkeyHohtay Mum hasn't and will not be refusing treatment, I meant we were informing them all that the oil was being used but we also make it clear that if it would interfere with any medical procedures when we are more than willing to stop using it. No one has told us to stop it yet so we will keep going

user87382294757 Palliative care hasn't been mentioned yet as we are still waiting on a few results back and so far the timescale has only been mentioned by one doctor and that was only when we pushed them for an answer

Oblomov19 susan82 Hermagsjesty Thank you for taking the time to comment and I do appreciate the fact that there are go fund me type pleas everywhere and people do just become immune to them

I feel a bit better today. I think I am going through stages, I've had the crying constantly stage, just finished with the angry stage and am waiting to see what is coming next.

Thinking of you and your family