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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

“It’s nothing for you to do all night wakings,” says DH. “You’re genetically programmed.”

217 replies

geneticallyprogrammed · 17/04/2019 16:41

We have 3 DC, the youngest of whom is now 8. This morning, DH was in a cranky mood because I had forgotten to close the cats into the lower ground floor rooms, so one came in howling for me at 5.30am. I immediately got up with the cat so DH was minimally disturbed, as I always do in this situation. Anyway, I took him a coffee to wake him up at 7am and he started ranting about how he need to be at “peak performance” this week; “millions are at stake,”etc (this is basically the case every week and is the story of my life). I again apologised for the cat and said that 5.30 is not that bad as a one off. He continued going on and on about “sleep deprivation”. I said to him that not once have I ever expected him to deal with the cats and, for that matter, not once did he ever get up in the night with any of his 3 children over the course of 7 years. His reply was, “Well that’s different, you’re a woman. You’re genetically programmed to deal with children and be awake in the night to adapt to their sleep patterns.” Hmm

I’m actually livid following this comment because I think it speaks volumes as to his attitude. AIBU?

OP posts:
Loopytiles · 17/04/2019 16:42

Sexist.

Barbarafromblackpool · 17/04/2019 16:43

Sounds like a cunt tbh.

Twotinydictators · 17/04/2019 16:43

Why would you put up with this? Sorry, he sounds like an utter knob.

Spoddy · 17/04/2019 16:44

I would be making sure those cats were not shut into any rooms tonight..... tomorrow...... the next day.........

DisplayPurposesOnly · 17/04/2019 16:44

"DH, I can't believe i married a twat like you."

olderthanyouthink · 17/04/2019 16:44

I mean with a breastfeeding/cosleeping baby maybe but not for an 8yo!

Fucket · 17/04/2019 16:44

Twat

SapphireBattersea · 17/04/2019 16:44

Utter sexist cunt

AryaStarkWolf · 17/04/2019 16:44

I ...........just.....don't know what to say to that. Shock

Astrid0208 · 17/04/2019 16:44

Ignorant as well as mean and selfish.

mirime · 17/04/2019 16:44

I'd be ignoring the cat from now on, let him deal with it in the early hours.

DavidBowiesBulge · 17/04/2019 16:44

What a twunt.

BestZebbie · 17/04/2019 16:45

How many large animals has he wrestled for you and the kids recently, to use his own "genetic programming" for the good of the family?

Greensleeves · 17/04/2019 16:45

What a pompous ignorant twatbadger.

My dad once said women were biologically better able to do housework. He based this on the fact that he himself simply couldn't bring himself to do the washing up, whereas any woman (me, my sister) who lived with him for any length of time ended up doing it eventually.

Zero tolerance for men with these attitudes.

mbosnz · 17/04/2019 16:45

Is he still breathing? Just as a matter of academic curiosity. I can lend you a good book on body disposal, if not. . .

femidom12 · 17/04/2019 16:46

Are you married to (Sir) Phillip Green?

YouTheCat · 17/04/2019 16:46

What a massive arse!

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 17/04/2019 16:47

I don’t get why you were seemingly content to handle 100% of the night wakings for seven years, but this comment is a problem?

CostanzaG · 17/04/2019 16:47

He's a sexist, uneducated misogynistic pig.

MrsMaow · 17/04/2019 16:47

Can you piss the cat off then throw it at his head at 3am?

AryaStarkWolf · 17/04/2019 16:49

I don’t get why you were seemingly content to handle 100% of the night wakings for seven years, but this comment is a problem?

Yes that's very true

Shoxfordian · 17/04/2019 16:49

Sexist knob

Cheeringmeup · 17/04/2019 16:49

Our cat pats DH's face with his paw in the morning to get him up, generally between 4.30 and 5.30am.

Took me and the DC weeks to train him to do that Smile

I suggest the same for your DH, but with claws out...

What a twat.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 17/04/2019 16:49

Sounds like he’s genetically programmed to be a selfish twat!

frazzledasarock · 17/04/2019 16:50

I agree with Ladybrai.

What do you plan on doing about his attitude? After having spent years pandering to him and enforcing his belief that he’s the big I am?