“It’s nothing for you to do all night wakings,” says DH. “You’re genetically programmed.”

[geneticallyprogrammed]

We have 3 DC, the youngest of whom is now 8. This morning, DH was in a cranky mood because I had forgotten to close the cats into the lower ground floor rooms, so one came in howling for me at 5.30am. I immediately got up with the cat so DH was minimally disturbed, as I always do in this situation. Anyway, I took him a coffee to wake him up at 7am and he started ranting about how he need to be at “peak performance” this week; “millions are at stake,”etc (this is basically the case every week and is the story of my life). I again apologised for the cat and said that 5.30 is not that bad as a one off. He continued going on and on about “sleep deprivation”. I said to him that not once have I ever expected him to deal with the cats and, for that matter, not once did he ever get up in the night with any of his 3 children over the course of 7 years. His reply was, “Well that’s different, you’re a woman. You’re genetically programmed to deal with children and be awake in the night to adapt to their sleep patterns.”

I’m actually livid following this comment because I think it speaks volumes as to his attitude. AIBU?

So how's he going to manage after you've dumped him and he has the dc 50/50 ? Half the summer holidays? Three weeks?How will he cope if he hasn't been genetically programmed?

He’s genetically programmed to be a twat.

I'd have stabbed anyone who said that to me.

He is always moaning about his sleep, but the only person stopping him going to bed earlier is him! On Monday night he was making a massive flap about how he didn’t have the “luxury” of going to bed at 10.30 like me because he had so much work to do. Yet when I looked at his computer, he was planning bike routes! He then got livid because his bike sat nav thing didn’t seem to sync with the computer. You would think this was all my fault, Then the next morning, he’s moaning about “sleep deprivation” and how tired he was. He leaves me feeling anxious and worried about him, only to get a call at 10am to tell me he had cycled from Fulham to his meeting in Hertfordshire all via London’s canal systems and it was “amazing”. Also he had beaten his peak time through Hyde Park and is now ranked 10th for that “leg” (he has an app to make his daily commute into a race). So this was his idea of “intense sleep deprivation” that day. Meanwhile, I’m anaemic with all DC home and I feel shattered from constantly walking on eggshells.

How does he think doctors working through the night manage, you know, the male ones?! Are they less competent?

What other sexist gems can he offer ladyz? Our lady brains can't cope with anything mentally challenging or it'll draw blood away from our wombs? Housework keeps us out of trouble, we'll only get hysterical? Please share his wisdom.

He needs a fucking reality check. Go on holiday/stay with relatives for a week and leave him to it.

You've been with this man for at least nine years. You know he's not going to be any less of a twat. What's your plan?

Sorry you’re legally joined to a massive tadger OP

There are lots of threads like this at the moment. I honestly don't know how you can stand it.

What....a.....twat....

There is so much more wrong with your relationship then sleep issues of you're walking on eggshells.

Maybe you need to take some time to think about your life with him in general

He sounds like a total bellend

I took him a coffee to wake him up at 7am

Are you genetically programmed to do that too? If not then stop, because why would anyone bring morning coffee to someone who's just going to start ranting? Either he has better manners in future or he can get himself up and make his own coffee.

In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences.

What a fucking tosser!

You should remind him that you have been sleep deprived for the last X years because he's a lazy fucker.

Millions are at stake, is that all?

I have myself and three tiny humans to KEEP ALIVE on much less sleep than you manage FFS.

What a selfish, sexist cunt

Jesus Christ having read your update I say LTBB (leave the biking bastard)

It's really really dawning on me lately that so many men really believe that women are actually inferior to them. I mean I always knew sexism existed etc but it's like this is a different thing altogether. Does that make any sense. It's infuriating to think so many people believe you're beneath them because you don't a have a cock or a superior man brain.

Hahahahahahha.

Hahahahahahahaha.

Kill him.

He sounds really selfish and entitled. You sound a bit like his maid. Let him do something’s for himself.

The most depressing thing about MN is realising how many women are treated like absolute shit by their "partners" and seem to think it's normal or just a mild annoyance.

You can do better than this, OP.

His implication is that men are genetically not resilient enough to cope with great responsibility either within or outside the home. So how they have come to be in charge of almost everything is a mystery.

Want one of us to call him at 3 am and blow a whistle down the phone?

He sounds like a sexist twat.

Although doing all night wakings for 3 kids would annoy me a hell of a lot more than his comments.

Do you not even get weekends off? Y'know when he doesn't have his big important job the next day so has the opportunity to show you that raising his children is just as important a contribution to the family?

I bet he spends all weekend cycling whilst you look after the kids too.

Leave the door open again tonight, and when the cat comes up pretend to be asleep. He’s a twat

What do you get out of this relationship that you wouldn’t get if you left him?

Ohhhhh....he’s a cyclist as well as being an unutterable sexist twat. Makes perfect sense.

How can he have such a responsible job where MILLIONS are at stake every day when he can’t understand that planning cycle routes is not work?

Does he have any good points?