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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Holiday money

24 replies

WhiteDust · 13/04/2019 08:45

DS is going on an all inclusive holiday with his friend's family for 1 week. I want to give his friend's family some money to cover anything spent outside of the resort.
DH thinks I don't need to.
I'm going to give DS a small amount of pocket money but AIBU to think that I should give the parents some money to cover trips etc.
AIBU or is DH?
If you'd give money, how much? DS is 12.

OP posts:

TaxiGood · 13/04/2019 08:49

Why don’t you just call the other child’s parents and tell them you’d like to do this? It’s probably not best to send that much cash with a 12 year old anyway so you should work out giving it directly to the parents. (I’m aaauming you’ve already offered and borderline insisted on paying your child’s way for the trip itself and they have flat out refused so it sounds like they are financially comfortable and generous, but still.) If they refuse then tell them you are sending money for your child to take them all out to dinner one night, and you insist. I agree with you that you can’t just send him empty handed.

JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth · 13/04/2019 08:50

Following. My ds is in exactly the same position so interested to know what to give pls!

TaxiGood · 13/04/2019 08:51

Just reread and saw you want to give the family some money. Why don’t you give them £100? It could be too much bug if they are doing many excursions and meals off the resort that can add up.

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 13/04/2019 08:51

I would ..I think it polite to just put some money in an envelope to cover additional expenses...Maybe they have planned an excursion or something? I would put 100.00 in and say this is for extras.if I owe you anymore please let me know when you get back...you will probably get it back if it is all inclusive based holiday and they don't leave the resort.

TaxiGood · 13/04/2019 08:53

Actually, ask them what they think would be fair. They will demur. If you can afford £150, send that, and if they say it’s too much, tell them to use the rest toward a meal or treat for everyone. If £150 is a stretch for you send £100.

Disfordarkchocolate · 13/04/2019 08:53

I'd have to give something but I know any holiday with me involves excursions etc.

Original poster

WhiteDust · 13/04/2019 09:02

I have mentioned it to the Mum and she insists that he doesn't need any extra money other than a very small amount of spending money.
I think I'll put £150 in an envelope and tell her it's for any extra treats. What does everyone think?

OP posts:

Original poster

WhiteDust · 13/04/2019 09:03

I'm planning on giving DS £30 'for himself' as this is what his friend gets for the week.

OP posts:

Original poster

WhiteDust · 13/04/2019 09:06

I'm thinking to cover good/drink at the airport, a day trip or just anything really...

OP posts:

Hollowvictory · 13/04/2019 09:11

Yes that sounds sensible. A day at a waterpark etc can be expensive.

chickywoo · 13/04/2019 09:13

Yes I agree £100 in an envelope - what they don't use it they will probs give it back after.
And then maybe £50 pocket money?

eyore123 · 13/04/2019 09:41

I would probably give some money like £30 as pocket money for your child and another £30 for their child and then give another £100 to parent for spending outside the resort.

Normally everything in the resort can be quite expensive in the hotel shops. Even silly things like sweets and crisps

MaybeitsMaybelline · 13/04/2019 09:43

I think you should. I have taken various friends on holiday with us over the years and it is really expensive. You also have to second guess whether you would do a certain trip or eat out at a certain restaurant because the price comes in at more than you are used to budgeting for.

Whether they use the money or not is up to them but you should send him with money and tell the parent he has it. Or give the parent the money.

FirmlyRooted · 13/04/2019 09:55

Definitely agree you should send some money. The kids might spot something unplanned they want to do while out there, a day trip somewhere maybe or surfing lessons.

And the other parents are looking after your child for a week, I'd hate them feeling put out and like they were rooting the bill.

NaomifromMilkshake · 13/04/2019 10:02

We go on holidays this August, and DD's BF is coming with us, I have said to DD that if that is the case then she needs to knock her steak every night habit on the head, she doesn't really but I don't want her to grow up thinking that we have a bottomless pit of money. We have only recently gone from comfortable to very comfortable (mortgage gone) and and if she knew she would never be out of Selfridges spending it on designer gear.

I would not expect his parents to pay for him, we invited him, but a nominal amount in an envelope £100 or £200 would be great.

I would then start the first night with cocktails and toast his parents and say cheers dears for a lovely start to the holiday and then proceed to pay for everything else.

HopefulAgain10 · 13/04/2019 10:02

150 sounds very reasonable. How kind of them to do this. And for her to insist that you dont need to send anything extra, you can return this gesture by sending along some money. I'm sure she would appreciate it.

NaomifromMilkshake · 13/04/2019 10:03

Oh and just for balance our holiday is AI.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 13/04/2019 10:08

I couldn't send him empty handed, I'd feel like a CF. I'd insist on giving the parents at least £100 towards meals outside the resort, sightseeing trips etc and for them to treat themselves to a couple of drinks or something as a thank you for having DS. I would also give DS some spending money on top of that, probably £50.

Dvg · 13/04/2019 10:21

I agree £100-150 to him or them to help out ( for example if they buy sweets or something from a gift shop then he can buy one too without asking the family and £30 for him to spend as he pleases.

Ratbagcatbag · 13/04/2019 10:25

I think £100 in an envelope is perfect. Just hand it over and say they can use it for whatever they wish, trips, cocktails for themselves as a thank you, extra meal off resort anything.

And then I'd give him £30 so he has the same as his friend.

Original poster

WhiteDust · 13/04/2019 10:59

Thanks for all the replies!
Between £100 and £150 seems to be acceptable!
I'm going to go with £150.
I'm not giving him more than £30 for himself because the Mum has stated that her son is given £30.
I'm glad you think this is ok! I feel better now as I really don't want to be a CF!!!

OP posts:

Order654 · 13/04/2019 11:08

I’d defo give her some money.

My daughter went away for a mon-Friday in a caravan before with a school friend and I gave the mum £50 plus my daughter £20 for treats such as ice creams etc

NaomifromMilkshake · 13/04/2019 11:19

Our holiday is not AI even.

Dramatical · 13/04/2019 11:24

Don't put it in an envelope, only prostitutes keep money in envelopes on holiday

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