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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think he might be taking drugs?

23 replies

stepone33 · 05/04/2019 21:13

My boyfriend used to take drugs (not sure I'm allowed to write the name )
Anyway he told me he stopped.
Tonight he is over his friends house having a few drinks.
He's just posted a pic with a bottle of beer and next to it a credit card.
Am I being too suspicious here?
He has zero reason to have a credit card next to him.

OP posts:

Shiverrrrmetimbers · 05/04/2019 21:16

Maybe they ordered a pizza? Ask him

RussellSprout · 05/04/2019 21:22

Is it his card?

And why can't you say the name of the drug?

Is it cocaine? There, I said it. I don't think I'm about to get my post deleted or banned.

Original poster

stepone33 · 05/04/2019 21:24

It just seemed strange it was on the coffee table.
Yeah it was.

OP posts:

RocketSurgery · 05/04/2019 21:27

You can say cocaine. It certainly sounds like that’s what he’s doing. If you call for a pizza you get your card out to pay then put it away. Was it cocaine he used to do? Is he still with the same group of friends? If so, I’d bet a lot of money he’s still doing cocaine.

stayathomegardener · 05/04/2019 21:30

If it's his card you could run your tongue down the edges to check later.

It will still have residue and taste bitter.

I say you could... really you should just be able to ask him.

Original poster

stepone33 · 05/04/2019 21:40

If it was pizza it would be from local shop and pay cash more than likely or just eat and card details are saved.
Yeah all his friends do cocaine.

OP posts:

Cheeserton · 05/04/2019 21:42

If he isn't supposed to be taking cocaine anymore, then hanging out with mates who 'all' do it is a very, very bad plan. No way he won't be at it if they all are. You do need to ask him though and see the whites of his eyes when he responds.

Original poster

stepone33 · 05/04/2019 21:43

According to him I'm the only person he knows who doesn't.

OP posts:

Clownfish123 · 05/04/2019 21:45

All his friends do it, he used to do it and there's a card on the table. Chances are he's doing it. Have you discussed it with him? Do you not want him to do it?

MitziK · 05/04/2019 21:49

Just LTB.

If you're the only person he knows who isn't a drug addled prick doesn't snort lines on a Friday night, you are fundamentally incompatible with his entire lifestyle.

Run, don't walk.

Original poster

stepone33 · 05/04/2019 21:53

I don't want him to no.
It's not my thing at all,never tried it,never appealed to me.
He changes personality when he takes it,cocky,arrogant and untrustworthy

OP posts:

MummyStruggles · 05/04/2019 21:59

Regardless of whether he's still taking it or not, you clearly don't trust the guy.

He lives a life that you're not interested in living and I don't think he sounds like he's ready to stop.

I'd get out. Fast.

VladmirsPoutine · 05/04/2019 22:18

On the contrary I'd say you're the only person who doesn't know he's still at it.

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 05/04/2019 22:19

Yeah all his friends do cocaine.
According to him I'm the only person he knows who doesn't

You sound incompatible at best. Your boyfriend hangs round with some proper boring twats. Just sack him off.

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 05/04/2019 22:20

Edit: your boyfriend is most likely a boring twat too. Most people on coke are crashing bores in my experience.

TapasForTwo · 05/04/2019 22:40

"Do you not want him to do it?"

That's a rather silly question. I can't see that anyone would want their partner to do cocaine

Wauden · 06/04/2019 10:18

Does anyone know whether someone sniffing their nose often is a sign? It doesn't matter what time of year, so it's not a cold, and it is every day. The reason I ask is because a colleague does this and sometimes when we go out for a drink she talks non-stop which is otherwise out of character.

Clownfish123 · 06/04/2019 14:28

Tapas why is it silly?
Correct me if I'm wrong but nowhere in the OP did it say how she feels about it. I wasn't just going to just assume this was a huge problem for her as there are plenty of people who's partners take it and it isn't a huge problem for them.
I was just trying to gauge her stance on it.

Wauden - sniffing all the time is a huge sign!!

HollowTalk · 06/04/2019 14:33

Do you have children together?

It's inevitable he'll do it if he likes to hang around with people who do. He will see you as boring.

Surely you don't want a guy like this in your life?

LuckyLou7 · 06/04/2019 14:40

Most people on coke are crashing bores

This, in bucketfuls.
Recreational drug users can be so bloody dull, with life revolving around the next time they can use.
Dump and run, unless there's a major reason you want to stay with this man.

Tomjet · 06/04/2019 14:44

I would trust your instincts; he was almost certainly taking cocaine. You don't do this as it isn't for you and never has been. For that reason alone you should split up.

Don't do what I did and think 'live and let live'. I've never done drugs, but my ex used to, he said, occasionally. Occasionally became weekly, then before I knew it he had massive addicition issues with cocaine and alcohol. He would do anything to feed his addictions, beg, borrow, steal and pawn anything he could, he even tried to defraud me. He also became paranoid and was occasionally violent too, and arrested for it several times. Now he doesn't work because he suffers from depression and still struggles with addiction (not sure which caused which). He has no friends because he ripped them all off for money and he hardly speaks to his family.

Don't turn a blind eye. You don't like drugs and you don't trust him not to take them. He even tries to insult you by insinuating you're odd not to take cocaine. He's showing you who he is, show him who you are and walk away

Wauden · 09/04/2019 22:14

@Clownfish123 thanks, this confirms my suspicion that my colleague takes drugs in the day time. Confused as to why she feels the need to do this, though.

Shiverrrrmetimbers · 11/04/2019 18:19

@wauden there could be many reasons your colleague is sniffing - allergies, colds, nerves. Being a hardcore drug addict that’s snorting coke throughout the day would be the bottom of the list!

Slightly ridiculous unless there’s other signs

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