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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Just looking for opinions on this

20 replies

Galaxygirlgo · 04/04/2019 20:27

Today we were moving at a slow speed on approaching a roundabout and the vehicle in front of us slammed on the brakes suddenly causing us to do the same.

We stopped near in time however our car still touched the back of theirs.

We all got out and the driver in front said it wasn't our fault because the driver in front of her had braked suddenly and so she had to do the same and they were at fault, but they had driven off.

We looked at the car and there were 2 small marks that we think could have been us, and a load of other scratches and chips on there that we know wasn't us because of the angle etc.

We pointed out the marks may have been us but also pointed out the ones that weren't and offered our insurance details if she wanted to sort it out however she refused our details and said again not to worry because it wasn't our fault and also the damage was minor and there was already damage.

I think that should have been it and we should have parted ways however my OH then insisted on giving her our number in case she wanted to follow up on the driver that was ahead of us and asked for her to call his phone after he put his in her phone so that we had her number but she didn't do this so we had no contact details for her.

By time we got home we had received a call from her daughter stating that she was not happy with what had happened and stated that although she knew there was existing damage to that part of the car, that there was damage there that was not previously and that she wanted a whole respray either privately or though insurance, despite the driver stating that it was ok, she was happy to leave it.

We have a professional local garage that we always use and trust who also offer us reasonable prices and despite the driver already refusing our insurance details and saying we weren't to blame we decided to offer this as a settlement rather than go through an insurance dispute. We got quotes on repairing just the specific blimps we had caused but the difference in £££ was so minor that we agreed to just offer a whole respray at our own expense.

We called back and the driver answered this time and was happy to go with this and agreed she would take the car to the garage and it would be billed to us.

However later we received a message from the daughter that she was not happy with us choosing a garage we know and wanted to go to a different (100% more expensive, we would be paying at least 3x the cost) garage.

Am i being unreasonable here in thinking we have made a reasonable offer to repair the damage at a qualified garage when we didn't even need to given the driver refused our insurance details in the first place and refused to give us her contact details.

Really annoying as well given the amount of damage that was already present on the part needing resprayed, i do think it was cheeky to even ask for that rather than repairing just the possible damage caused.

Not sure where to go from here. It sounds to me like the driver is happy to let it go, or go with the garage we offered, but her daughter is not happy even though she wasn't present, or involved.

Also do we need to contact the police to report this incident? As i was under the impression if it isn't serious and it had been resolved it isn't an issue - technically with the driver we have come to a solution but the daughter is causing issues

Looking for some outside views as both of our brains are just exploding right now!

OP posts:

AllTheFunAndGames · 04/04/2019 20:34

Definitely report to the Police. The Daughter sounds like a scammer. You should inform your Insurance Company too. It is important to have it on the record encase they claim more damage. I don't suppose your DP took photos of the damage? Unfortunately, insurance wise; it's you're at fault because you shouldn't have been so close to her.

Original poster

Galaxygirlgo · 04/04/2019 20:42

I took pictures of the blimp i think we caused but didn't take any of the pre existing damage at the sides. They didn't bother taking any pictures or details.

Just wish i had pressed down on the brakes sooner and harder! Didn't think i would touch any car in front as i did feel i had left a reasonable amount of space. Argh!

OP posts:

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 04/04/2019 20:46

What’s all the ‘we’, ‘us’ and ‘our’?

Your were the driver yes?

All sounds a bit dodgy but ultimately you would be at fault. I would just contact your insurers.

icelolly99 · 04/04/2019 20:52

Stop dealing with the driver and her daughter and let your insurance companies sort it out otherwise this hassle with the other driver will never end. Honestly.

MaryBoBary · 04/04/2019 20:53

I would say to the daughter that she can either accept your original (very generous) offer, or go through her insurance. But even though you would be found at fault, her premiums would also go up for making a claim. She may reconsider then.

Original poster

Galaxygirlgo · 04/04/2019 20:53

Partner and myself, just used to referring to us as a pair all the time

OP posts:

DogInATent · 04/04/2019 22:58

We all got out and the driver in front said it wasn't our fault because the driver in front of her had braked suddenly and so she had to do the same and they were at fault, but they had driven off.

The driver of the car at the front is the only driver not at fault.

Both drivers behind were driving too close and/or not paying attention. If they weren't too close and were paying attention they would both have stopped in time. You'll have a great deal of trouble convincing anyone that this is not the case.

Refer the matter to your insurers, don't settle privately.

Chloemol · 04/04/2019 23:07

Report to the police as this is a known scam. Then tell the daughter you have rescinded your offer, reported the accident to the police, with the photos you have and she can take the matter up through her insurance

Youngandfree · 04/04/2019 23:07

Hang on a second who owns the car the woman was driving?? Her or her daughter?? And if it’s her daughters car then was she even fully insured to drive it??

nokidshere · 04/04/2019 23:13

Why are you even getting involved in all this? Just refer it to your insurance company. You were at fault because you hit her, no matter what the reason was.

Flockingflamingo · 04/04/2019 23:21

Refer to your insurers. Uou are at fault, it's an immediate fault claim as you should have been keeping a decent stopping distance.

gamerchick · 04/04/2019 23:24

Did you actually see the car in front of her that braked and drove off?

Take it back and report properly. She sounds like she's trying it on. I hope you took photos.

gamerchick · 04/04/2019 23:29

I'm sure I read somewhere that insurers were taking rear ending on a case by case basis now because of so many scams.

Can't remember where though, it may had been a suggestion

StrippingTheVelvet · 04/04/2019 23:31

We stopped near in time. What sort of nonsense statement is that? You mean you didn't stop in time. You mean you hit her car. I don't know what everyone else is reading but to me it sounds like it's you and your partner being slippery, not this wee old lady.

Original poster

Galaxygirlgo · 04/04/2019 23:31

Yeah i have photos. Im not sure who owns the car - i assumed the driver did but the more i think about it maybe this wasnt the case and is why the daughter is pushing so hard?

I'm reporting it in the morning so i will bring it up with the police - im not sure they would check who the actual driver was though? I dont know if it would be questioned by anyone on paper?

Could also be why they didnt give us any of their details..

OP posts:

Eliza9919 · 04/04/2019 23:35

What info do they have for you? If it's just your telephone number, I'd just ignore them.

Original poster

Galaxygirlgo · 04/04/2019 23:41

I disagree. We did touch the back of her car but it wasnt a huge impact that made any noticable damage that we could 100% say was us for sure.

I still offered insurance details and she refused to take to take them at the scene saying it didnt matter and didnt offer us any details.

After the daughter called wanting a whole respray either through insurance or other means We then went on to get a quote for a total respray which we offered. Its a professional garage with 5* reviews that they can check out if they want so not slimy at all.

They still havent given us any of their details btw, other than called us on a private number and one mobile, which i think is sketchy.

OP posts:

Flockingflamingo · 04/04/2019 23:44

Call and say you are only happy to deal through insurance.

It doesn't matter how hard the impact was, she should get her car fully checked out. A car can be fine on the outside and damaged inside.

MyKingdomForBrie · 04/04/2019 23:47

Definitely let her know you're calling police and insurance and leave it at that, do not fall into the trap of getting anything done privately as the daughter sounds totally unreasonable.

Tolleshunt · 04/04/2019 23:48

Crash for cash. Let your insurers handle it.

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