Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be concerned about partners Facebook post?

29 replies

ConcernedGirlfriend · 02/04/2019 04:06

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some advice and to check if I'm possibly overreacting.

My partner and I have been together for 2 years and I've never seen his Facebook as I don't use it. Tonight, out of curiosity I had a scroll through and saw a video of him from about 2 months before we met.

In the video, he is in a gun range in America (which doesn't bother me). However, the target he is shooting at is a picture of a woman (sort of Grand Theft Auto style picture). He's clearly aiming for the head / face and has captioned it 'getting out some aggression'.

AIBU to be a bit concerned about this? It feels quite aggressive to be shooting at a woman, rather than a normal target? Perhaps I'm overreacting but I'm seeing him in a different light now.

Would love to get some opinions.

OP posts:
Worried2019 · 02/04/2019 04:07

YABU

dontgobaconmyheart · 02/04/2019 04:11

err...no YANBU to wonder about this OP, how grim- although much more context is probably needed from him to decide if there is more to it, i'd ask him about it, and whether he felt that was on reflection, not appropriate. See what he says/does.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/04/2019 04:11

Do you think he's a raging, violent misogynist? Or is he a nice bloke?

littlecabbage · 02/04/2019 04:12

I wouldn't like it. Reminds me of the scene in Fleabag where a load of angry middle-aged men are shouting "bitch!" at inflatable "woman" dolls. Because they hate women and are on a retreat to try to "cure" themselves.

pallisers · 02/04/2019 04:16

In the video, he is in a gun range in America (which doesn't bother me). However, the target he is shooting at is a picture of a woman (sort of Grand Theft Auto style picture). He's clearly aiming for the head / face and has captioned it 'getting out some aggression'

Well I wouldn't want to be with someone who did/thought like this but I am anti-gun anyway. But maybe it was a complete abberation. Maybe the fact it was a woman target passed over his head (pretty dim not to think about the realities of that though - he needs to start thinking better if so)

Or maybe not. You need to talk to him about it.

jameswong · 02/04/2019 04:21

Did he know there was a picture on the target? Firing guns is a good way to release aggression, so possible he was referring to that alone and he wasn't aware.

If he knew it was a female on the target then yeah, it's weird.

Coyoacan · 02/04/2019 04:26

Did he know there was a picture on the target?

I presume he did as he posted it on facebook and it was clear enough for anyone to see.

Original poster
ConcernedGirlfriend · 02/04/2019 04:26

He definitely knew, it was one of those ranges where you chose the target yourself and it was massive - plus he was at close range so there's absolutely no way he couldn't have known.

I think it's weird too.

OP posts:
Original poster
ConcernedGirlfriend · 02/04/2019 04:27

Just to clarify, the picture was massive and he was at close range. There is a 0% chance he didn't know that the picture was of a woman. The video is recorded from behind him so the camera is further from the target and it's really clear what it is.

OP posts:
jameswong · 02/04/2019 04:33

Ok thanks for responding.

Yeah, doesn't sound good. Should talk to him I think.

Monty27 · 02/04/2019 04:38

How old are you both?
Nothing more creative to do in life.
Still. If it keeps him happy the rest is up to you Confused

cabcab · 02/04/2019 04:55

Hmmm I think it may be a slight over reaction,assuming his whole FB isn't full of that type of stuff. But I'd be on guard to see if more flags were waved.

Snoozysnoozy · 02/04/2019 05:45

Wow what a cunt. Shooting at women type target shows him to be a violent misogynist.

Obviously he should only ever shoot at male targets. Good job you came here instead of just asking him about it.

Original poster
ConcernedGirlfriend · 02/04/2019 05:50

Thanks for your sarcastic comment.

I don't think it's appropriate to be shooting at either target, but given that I am a woman and the target was a woman I raised my concern. It would be rather odd for me to say the target was a man when it wasn't, wouldn't it?

I think you've perhaps misunderstood what the AIBU threads are all about. I'm looking for people's opinions as to whether I'm being unreasonable so I can decide HOW to approach it. Thanks for taking time out of your day though to post your completely pointless and unnecessary comment :)

OP posts:
PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 02/04/2019 05:53

YANBU

but how to frame it? Tricky.

“Brenda from number 56 was whingeing at me about parking the other day. Makes me wish I had a big pic of her face on a gun range I could let off some steam in, eh? Ps who did you have in mind when you were all trigger happy in that FB post a while back”?

Or summat.

Jessgalinda · 02/04/2019 06:02

I an confused. In a gun range you do aim for the head. Dont you?

And gun ranges do help people distress.

What would be important is how he is in general. If he has shown signs of being aggressive and dislikes women. This would concern me.

If he is a good man, shows no misogyny in real life then I would assume it's just one of these things that people put on Facebook with a stupid meaningless caption. Facebook is full of them.

Oysterbabe · 02/04/2019 06:05

I don't think this is anything to be concerned about in isolation.

Sirzy · 02/04/2019 06:14

When I shot on a range in an army base where where told to aim for the groin and the head. It was good fun but I have never had the slightest incling to shoot someone really.

LL83 · 02/04/2019 06:36

Yabu.

He picked a cut out it doesn't really matter which one. Unless there are other signs you are really over analysing this.

Tinkety · 02/04/2019 06:49

I went to shooting range & my target was a picture of a man, I was aiming for his head & groin. I didn’t give it a second thought to be honest because it was just a picture & I was having fun pretending to be a FBI agent! There’s no way it was a reflection of my thoughts & feelings about men & it didn’t even occur to me that it may mistakenly be construed that way until your post.

I also bought an Easter white chocolate chick yesterday & bit it’s head off & ate it, it doesn’t mean I’m going to torture a real chick or that I harbour thoughts about animal cruelty either.

Somethings just aren’t that deep & you can find hidden meanings in anything if you look hard enough. If there aren’t any other red flags, I’d let it go.

Dueinnov19 · 02/04/2019 06:49

Do you know what was going on with him at that moment in time to be going through that process?

I used to play call of duty, and when in a low point or feeling stressed/tense I found hunting someone down and shooting them very therapeutic....however I have no desire to actually go out and murder someone in cold blood.

It's a bit like boxing, martial arts or playing golf and hitting that ball as hard as you can, it's a way to release pent up frustration but not hurting yourself or someone else

Belenus · 02/04/2019 06:51

It would make me very wary but then I don't like guns at all. I'd talk to him about it. See if he gets defensive and huffy. I don't think it's a case of being unreasonable or over-analysing. You think it's off, and it's fine to think that. I wouldn't like it if he were shooting at anyone clearly visible, male or female. A blank target for practise is one thing - a visible human picture is another.

Sculpin · 02/04/2019 07:03

YANBU and I would find this worrying. Not just the choice of target, but also the wording of the caption and the decision to put it on FB.

How is his attitude to women generally?

AllTheUserNamesAreTaken · 02/04/2019 07:08

I’ve been clay pigeon shooting a few times. Never had any desire to shoot real pigeons. You’re overthinking this op

would love to have a go at shooting handguns

Isth · 02/04/2019 07:11

On its own, I think you’re massively overreacting and finding far more in this than there actually is. In reality, j think there must be something else going on here, for you to see it like this in the first place. Has he already given you reason to be concerned?