To want a healthy arguement!

[MummyL0Ve]

I cannot say anything to my DP without a war! It could be the smallest and slightest thing, the next thing you know he is shouting and saying vile things, and to my horror i participate!
Its an awful cycle we appear to be stuck in..

AIBU to expect an arguement where the air is cleared rather than muddied with further nonsense!

We all argue that i know, but this is on another level, i feel as though he cannot handle being moaned at so in return he turns it round to something i did and makes it into somehing very serious.

This has been ongoing for more than a decade at my wits end.

Have you tried just plainly telling him you're not arguing and just ignoring him until he stops?
Thats about the only thing I got ideawise because I kicked mine out, was I fuck having someone shout, scream at me and verbally abuse me because I disagreed with him

I ignore mine, do not shout, reiterate calmly again and again that he is shouting. He goes red in the face. Some people are shouters.

Thank you for the response ladies

I have tried my best to ignore. Sometimes all i have to do is ask a question and it leads to an arguement, im finding it harder and harder to ignore, i feel as though i need to have my say, because often he is putting me down and i have to defend myself.

It sounds so pathetic but it has really got to me lately.

What are you getting out of this relationship?

BertrandRussell, not a alot at the moment. In his defense he is going through a tough time with his MH, but the past few years he has changed into this awful person, he is not the person i fell in love with