DH wants our son to have his name spelt the Scandinavian way, AIBU to say no?

[rdud]

We have agreed on a name we like, but there is the common spelling in the UK and then alternative spellings for other cultures. There is a spelling that is common in Scandinavia and DH would like that spelling (originally for there) but I think it will just cause an issue. Baby will have a british surname as DH took mine (does not like his father) and so that's our family name and because of this he would like it to reflect his heritage. I'm still not convinced that is better for our son who will have to spell it out. AIBU?

Depends on the name! I think if there is a common UK spelling and a less common Scandi one but they sound the same (or very similar) your child will have a lifetime of correcting how people have spelled his name.

You're going to have to tell us the name or give a good alternative exame as it's impossible to help otherwise.

Unless it is a really bizarre spelling, I think YABU.

*example

I'm kind of with your dh on this one, as long as it isn't ridiculous. As he has your surname, it would be nice for his father's heritage to be marked in some way.

Can you give us an example of how different the spelling would be? That might change my opinion!

I have to spell out my name which is one of the most popular names in my generation and is the standard spelling. So unless the spelling is ridiculous i think it doesnt matter and is a nice nod to your dh

What’s the name, OP? I think an alternative spelling could be nice

I think dh has good reasons for wanting that spelling so I would be more likely to consider it. It's not like he just wants to spell it that way to be different.

My friend had this issue with her son Oskar, her DH has some Swedish heritage but they live in England and I know they've found it annoying having to correct the spelling all the time.

I think it’s quite interesting to have it spelt the Scandinavian way and unless it will be really difficult for English speakers to read/ looks like a swear word I think it is a nice connection to that side of his heritage. Too early to tell how your DS will take it - he might feel fed up having to spell it all the time or he might relish being different/ the connection to his dad.

yep - we're going to have to know the name.

Alternative spelling? Probably fine. Alternative letters? (I understand the Dano-Norwegian alphabet has 29 letters) Probably not okay, as will be so difficult to write correctly on anything official.

I think it’s fine unless it requires a letter not in the English alphabet. I work with lots of Scandinavian colleagues and I can’t type their names properly because they use a letter that doesn’t exist on my keyboard. If it’s just an unusual spelling (no weird scandi letters), then I’d probably be fine with that as you all use your surname.

Depends on the name

For example - Erik is a dashing Viking, Eric is a sad character in a sitcom.

If you don't like a name, then keep looking for one you both live. If it matters to your DH to have a name which reflects his heritage, then those are the ones to look at

It depends on the name. Something like oskar I think is fine - just say “with a k”. But if something that is really tricky to read when seen written I’m less sure.
On the whole I’d say it’s usually nicer to have a name that reflects a parents heritage.

I'm sorry but please make sure you don't do this. I was born in a Scandinavian country and have a name that is very very similar to an English name (and pronounced the same) but with two different letters. It is INCREDIBLY annoying. I look with envy at my friends with really unusual names - at least they are always asked how their names are spelled. I miss out on emails at work as people assume the usual spelling despite me telling them, I can't give my name to anyone on the phone without them getting it wrong. I'm considering changing the spelling of mine to the English version - it's just too much hassle in every day life.

I think he should have the Scandinavian spelling to reflect that part of his heritage, I assume you live in the UK and he has a UK surname so it's only right he should also have something to reflect the Scandinavian part of his heritage.

Agree with others, as long as it’s not completely ridiculous and difficult then it would be a nice thing.
If you really don’t want it then as a PP said, you both need to agree on a name you both like

An example is Joseph / Josef

I agree with above posters.

Unusual letters like ø å will be tricky. Otherwise a spelling variation is perfectly normal.

Is it something like Harald/Harold or Erik/Eric? If your DH is Scandinavian it wouldn't be unreasonable for him to want your son to have a Scandinavian name. Maybe you could have first name Scandi and middle name English then reversed if/when you have a second child?

I'd go with what your DH wants, tbh. He's taken your surname so I agree it's a nice nod to his heritage (unless it's something totally bizarre and becomes a rude word or something).

For the record, I have a quite common everyday name that can be spelled about 10 different ways and people sometimes spell it wrong/ask me to spell (including MIL who has known me around 18 years). It's not really a problem.

I think having the Scandi spelling would be a nice way to reflect his heritage (as long as the name isn't a rude word in English).

I think you have good reason to use the Scandinavian spelling as a nod to your DH and your sons heritage. As he doesn't get to use his surname (completely his own choice of course) then i think this makes absolute sense.

Maybe use it as a middle name?