DH wants our son to have his name spelt the Scandinavian way, AIBU to say no?

[rdud]

We have agreed on a name we like, but there is the common spelling in the UK and then alternative spellings for other cultures. There is a spelling that is common in Scandinavia and DH would like that spelling (originally for there) but I think it will just cause an issue. Baby will have a british surname as DH took mine (does not like his father) and so that's our family name and because of this he would like it to reflect his heritage. I'm still not convinced that is better for our son who will have to spell it out. AIBU?

They probably know where he will be raised, sorry I wasn't clearer as to suggest I was talking about his whole lifetime.
Yeah life takes us on different courses, I know more than anyone. And I know what a pain in the arse my name is, it's not a mere spelling it out. It's every person I meet going through a variety of ways to pronounce my name and asking which one is correct and triple takes when actually giving my name.

My point to OP is to take other things into consideration such as her opinion and not 'giving in' to DH just because of his heritage. If he wants a name to reflect that, he could double barrel his surname.

My name is pronounced like a very traditional English name, but my mum chose a different spelling so it looks like a different name common in several other countries like Spain and Russia. It's a ballache to spell it out constantly (there are a considerable number of different letters than people expect), but I love it anyway - hate the English spelling to be honest.

I think if your son has your name, it would be kind to let him have some of his other heritage reflected. He will cope with saying "Josef with an f".

I have the most common name of my generation but I still have to say "yes, with an 'h'" all the time. All the most common names have alternative spellings and I don't think it has been an issue to have a more unusual spelling (or name) for years.

Jorgen

It’s a nice name

I have a really common name but spelt in an unusual way and it's a pain in the arse. Everyone thinks they can spell it, so they don't check, they don't listen when you spell it for them and they always get it wrong. I would never choose to inflict an unusual spelling on a child. Having said that, I do agree about Erik vs Eric

YABVU not to tell us the name!

Team DH as well. It's a nice thing to do and tbh, I often prefer the Scandinavian spelling.

I have a son called Lucas. I really wanted to spell it Lukas but my ex would only agree to the name if we spelled with a C. I still regret it . I also have a Scandinavian background.

Wish I knew what name you were talking about.

Some of us are proud of our cultural heritage llangenith and are glad to have it reflected in our names.

I think it’d nice and unique to give your child the Scandinavian spelling, not to mention giving your husband’s heritage a chance to shine through (it can’t all be British!). Would you really rather your child grows up with the regular English spelling when there is a perfect opportunity for a really nice name?

YABU, I would go with the scandal spelling.

Oh FFS, scandi spelling.

Seriously stop worrying - I have friends and acquaintances plus some builders who Anglicised their names.

So your son could unofficial end up using the more common English spelling once he's old enough to understand what it is in every day life, but for official things use the correct spelling.

Oh and my first name - not English - is spelt 2 ways so I have to spell out my name regardless.

many English names people find (why I don't know)hard to spell.ive spent my life trying to get people to spell my name right.still they don't.

If it's similar to Joseph/Josef then I think it's a bit of a non-issue. I'd only have a problem with him spelling it the Scandinavian way if it would make it impossible to pronounce. I think it would be nice to let him spell it the Scandinavian way. If he took your surname which is British then this can be a connection to his heritage. Otherwise it's a bit sad - it's like the Scandinavian side has been sort of erased.

My eldest has no problems with his names spelling but my youngest OMG. His name is Caden. So we went with the very first spelling of it but he gets cards with caiden cayden kaden kaiden kayden. Even some family can't spell his name. Drives us mad when we make a point of sending out his Chrismas cards end of November so people have the correct spelling but nope. Go with the popular version of spelling. Why not have a scandi middle name or a relatives name as a middle name. Mine both have either an uncles name or middle name as their middle name.

My children's names are spelt the Polish way and we all use a Polish surname. They're being brought up in Britain as British kids but we wanted to have their Polish identity a central part of them also. Plus the names are really easy, the spelling is pretty much phonetic for English speakers anyway.

Sagradafamiliar
I know what a pain in the arse my name is, it's not a mere spelling it out. It's every person I meet going through a variety of ways to pronounce my name and asking which one is correct and triple takes when actually giving my name.

Yes, mine too.
The variations never cease to amaze me. Ditto the stupidity of many people who can't wrap their heads around it.
But I would not change my name for anything.

I'd use the scandi spelling.

I have a 4 letter surname which is an English word - every English bastard under the sun spells it the German way and every German spells it the English way!!!
Irony is my fathers family changed it to the English way, when they fled Germany pre first world war.

Part of the rich tapestry of life, annoying but also highly amusing when English people realise how it is spelt and they feel a bit stupid getting a 4 letter word wrong.

In your case I would definitely use the Scandi spelling. Names these days have become so wide ranging and varied, 90% of the next generation will be spelling their names out. I mentioned on another thread about finding it difficult to merge different cultural names, but yours to me seems like a no brainier! We have British-Scandi friends who have the first names, think something like Kaspar, Nikolas, Aleksandr or thereabouts. Very English surname. I think that reflecting your DH’s, and by extension your children’s, culture is a beautiful thing. It’s something something that wouldn’t come up I’m conversation otherwise, so is a constant reminder of their heritage. “It’s kaspar with a “k”, yes, I’m half (whichever country)Scandinavian”. I like it.

It’s only a problem at Starbucks, but their coffee is poo anyway....

OP I have an unusual name. The "lifetime of spelling your name' burden is really exaggerated. I just spell it. It takes 2 seconds and it isn't annoying. My surname is very common so I like having an unusual first name.

Think your overthinkingit too. There are lots of English names as well with variations and your child is half Scandinavian. If you just don’t like the Scandinavian spelling that is different.

I grew up in a culture where there are names spelled in our language and the same names spelled phonetically in English. My folks decided to call me an Irish name with an Gaelic spelling, which is neither of the aforementioned languages, just to add to the excitement😁
It was a bit of a pain in my teens, as is everything, but I love it.