DH wants our son to have his name spelt the Scandinavian way, AIBU to say no?

[rdud]

We have agreed on a name we like, but there is the common spelling in the UK and then alternative spellings for other cultures. There is a spelling that is common in Scandinavia and DH would like that spelling (originally for there) but I think it will just cause an issue. Baby will have a british surname as DH took mine (does not like his father) and so that's our family name and because of this he would like it to reflect his heritage. I'm still not convinced that is better for our son who will have to spell it out. AIBU?

I agree with your dh

I agree with your DH and I'd be annoyed if I were him.

The baby's surname reflects his mother's heritage so it's only fair his surname reflects his dad's heritage.

p.s is it Casper v Kasper?

*'first name reflects his dad's heritage' that should say

I think it's fine.

I worked with someone whose wife was Spanish, their second son was called Nicolas rather than Nicholas, I don't suppose it was particularly traumatic for him.

Stefanie Marsh who writes for the Times is Stefanie with an f rather than a ph. It's fine as long as it's easily pronounceable.

Even if you use standard spelling people will get it wrong/use a less standard spelling. Think of a surname like Hart and people saying Harte or Heart.

I think it's a nice thing to do.

Josef is fine, so if it's only that level of change you shoukd go with the Scandi version

I think it’s a nice idea. There are 2 ways of spelling my name so I just say “it’s ———, spelled....”. Given your example, your DS could say “It’s Joseph but with an F”.

If it’s as simple as ‘Erik with a K’ or ‘Josef with an F’ it should be fine. So many names have 2+ spellings anyway. (My name ends in Y and I’m constantly getting i/ie spellings, or people drop a letter in the middle. Think Jenny/Jeni/Jennie/Jenni but it doesn’t cause me any real problems)

OP - please do correct me if I’m wrong as I don’t speak any Scandi languages, but isn’t “j” pronounced as “y”?
So lots of people will automatically pronounce Josef as Yosef ( if this is indeed the name)?
Again, apologies if “j” is pronounced the same. In this case, Josef is fine.

100% with your dh. And ain't nothing wrong with having to spell it out

I'd agree to let DH have his choice. Unless it's Cnut then it might be tricky

I agree with your DH.

I think your DH should be recognised in your son's name so I'd go with the Scandinavian spelling.

I think it’s fine unless it requires a letter not in the English alphabet

This. DCs have DH's surname, and it has an umlaut. Total pain in the bum.

Sorry but I’m with your DH on this one and think you should nod to his heritage with the Scandi spelling

It’s less of an issue if your DS actually has Scandinavian heritage and his name reflects that. If you were choosing a foreign spelling and had nothing to do with that culture I’d say YABU and just making his life harder for no reason.

Is it something like Niklas or Mikael?

I think if he took your surname and lives in your country it's not asking much to reflect his heritage in your child's name?

I'm Irish but living in Scandinavia married to a local and gave one of my kids a very Irish name. His friends have no problem pronouncing it correctly and he has been spelling it correctly (with fada) since he was 3. It was important to me and if my husband had refused on the grounds of it being different when I live in his country and my kids all have his surname I would have been upset.

I think you're over thinking this. My name is a short version for Victoria, so i always have to clarify whether the spelling is 'cky', 'cki' or any of the other endless variations. Does. It bother me? No. I suppose I'm trying to say that having to spell your name isn't just limited to foreign spellings. It's common for a lot of people. I personally think it would be a lovely nod to his heritage. If he really hates it then he can change it.

Does anyone actually have a name where there is only one spelling of it and no-one knows there could be a variation?

Reminds me of that Michael McIntyre sketch where he says Sarah with an H and the fact that it is pronounced exactly the same as Sarah.

As long as it is easy to say with an F for Josef then it will be fine. My son is friends with children who have British surnames but very unusual forenames related to where their parents are from. No-one bats an eyelid.

Josef is lovely and easy to spell. My nephew is Scandinavian and is called Tomas. He has lived in the UK and it has never had an issue with it.

It's no different to Claire/ Clare/ Clair of the 70s.

Isn't the scandinavian spelling Knut? Great name.
If it is something like Josef/Joseph then I'd let your DH have his way. I'd assume Josef to be pronounced Yosef though.

We had a similar issue w ds2's name and went with the English spelling as we live in the UK. He asked for it to be changed to the European country spelling at 8 after a visit there, and we now use that.

Shpuld make it clear, he does have heritage from the country in question.