DH wants our son to have his name spelt the Scandinavian way, AIBU to say no?

[rdud]

We have agreed on a name we like, but there is the common spelling in the UK and then alternative spellings for other cultures. There is a spelling that is common in Scandinavia and DH would like that spelling (originally for there) but I think it will just cause an issue. Baby will have a british surname as DH took mine (does not like his father) and so that's our family name and because of this he would like it to reflect his heritage. I'm still not convinced that is better for our son who will have to spell it out. AIBU?

May be nice for the kid to have that link? When you're younger, having an unusual name can be tricky, but it's probably the other way around when you're older. That said, my name is very simple, very straightforward - and people still get it wrong. There's really no guarantee. Unless you call them Richard.

I think it's a lovely nod to heritage.

My son is mixed race but was born in a country neither I nor his father are from. We chose a name we loved from that country which has a similar but not identical English version (and different spelling). He's quick to correct anyone that pronounces it the English spelling (it sounds phonetically as its spelt) and it's not been an issue. All his teachers/friends/family use the foreign pronunciation and spelling without issue.

I think it’s a nice idea.

I have a stupid surname that is unusual and the most natural way to spell it isn’t the way it’s spelt. Whenever I give my name I just say the surname and then spell it automatically. I’ve done it for 25 years, it isn’t a hardship.

I like the idea of a Kristian or Josef or Oskar or Jakob or whatever.

I have a name with an unusual spelling. It is a pain in the arse having to constantly spell it/ correct people and then still have it spelt wrong on documents. Go with the UK spelling if you are going to live here and a Scandi middle name.

I'm absolutely with your DH on this. Josef is lovely.

'Josef' , to me screams East European - and that opens up a whole load of discrimination.

Your son will probably Anglicise his name

I had a common surname that everyone could spell first time. Boring and massively over rated. My first name surname-combination was really common to the point of once having the name called in the Drs surgery and it not being for me! I changed my name when I married and now have to spell it everywhere. Love it. I'm not keen on funny spellings of common names for no reason - but if it is part of his heritage and identity, why not?

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking
Most people aren’t racist, so no he probably won’t.

'Josef' , to me screams East European - and that opens up a whole load of discrimination.

'screams'

Is he Norwegian? I live in Norway and have given my children British names because it is my culture and it is important to me. They will have to spell them out - one in particular is a very popular Norwegian name spelt differently so the opposite of your problem. I'm with your husband. It's hard to articulate how important culture becomes when you are far away from your own.

Tbh there are so many names with alternative spellings I wouldn't overthink it and allow your DH this nod to his heritage.

Even my DD with a very simple name (think Amy or something equally simple) has checks on the spelling because there are alternatives.

I have a common name with many spelling variations.

Apparent from the terrible disappointment of childhood when I couldn't rarely get personalised tat in tourist shops it isn't an issue.

Mark his heritage - it matters.

I think YWBU to day no. I think it sounds like a really good way to acknowledge his heritage. Lots of people have to spell out their names - I have a pretty common first name, but I always have to spell it out because there are two common ways to spell it. It hasn’t been a big deal for me at all.

I agree with your dh it's nice for your son to have a name that reflects his Scandinavian heritage. A slightly different spelling shouldn't be a problem.

The Joseph/Josef example Josef would be pronounced more like You-Sef rather than Yo-Sef

The child will deal with it.

My DSis and I have names that have to be spelt out. It's a non-issue.

Give your DH the say in this.

YABU.

There are plenty of "British" names that are spelled a variety of ways, it shouldn't be a problem.

is it like William/ Wilhelm

As your DC will have a British surname I would go for the Scandi spelling of the first name. Even if they have spell it out for people it's easily done and gives DC the opportunity to say it's spelt the Scandinavian way.

It's a totally different scenario to people choosing a bizarre spelling just for the sake of it which I'm always a bit about.

I'd choose Knut over Cnut.

It won't be a problem. Just go with it.

My friend has given her 4 children all Danish names even though they all live in the U.K. and both parents are English. Her grandmother is Danish so there is a tenuous connection. However, her children don't have problems spelling their names and people soon get used to them.

I think YABU. Your husband is already living here and his children are being brought up in the U.K. so it might be reasonable to compromise on the name. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Is it Eric / Erik? If so, I like the second version with a 'k' better.

@rdud my son is called Josef. no issues whatsoever