DH wants our son to have his name spelt the Scandinavian way, AIBU to say no?

[rdud]

We have agreed on a name we like, but there is the common spelling in the UK and then alternative spellings for other cultures. There is a spelling that is common in Scandinavia and DH would like that spelling (originally for there) but I think it will just cause an issue. Baby will have a british surname as DH took mine (does not like his father) and so that's our family name and because of this he would like it to reflect his heritage. I'm still not convinced that is better for our son who will have to spell it out. AIBU?

I normally jump on any Yoonique spelling as I was blessed with a normal name and an invented spelling but in this case I'm with your DH.

I did years as a supply teacher, I got used to saying, "please correct me if I say your name wrong" when taking a register.

There are loads of names that sound English but are spelled differently in other languages, they probably should be pronounced differently but children seem to anglicise their names.

Is it Kaspar v Casper?

I think your DH is right. Not many people are called Jane Smith in England nowadays so DS will be fine!

Go with the 'scandi' spelling and have a British middle name

Loving the Starbucks coffee cup.
Pointless thread - everyone agreeing with OP's Dh, until they actually find out what the name is!

It would annoy me tbh. I have to spell my surnmane all the time. It’s not the end of the world just something I find irritating.

I knew a girl who wanted to call her son Henry but she wanted to be different so she spelt it Henri. Everyone thought it was French so would call him ‘Onree’. She said she really regretted it, she spent her life having to explain ‘it’s pronounced Henry’.

I think it depends on the kind of character you are, some people may enjoy talking about their name and why it’s spealt a certain way but I wouldn’t be one of them 😂.

I think it’s probably the right thing to do for him to have the Scandinavian spelling having said all that.

Team DH all the way.

op is not going to say what it is as she was asking if she was being aibu - yeas, it seems so, and secondly it just might out her, but there is always the option of changing user name after this thread.
i doubt hoards of mners are going to turn up on her door step shouting yabu

I think the Scandi spelling is nicer, and would go with that as a compromise and to protect heritage.

Pointless thread - everyone agreeing with OP's Dh, until they actually find out what the name is!

I think Josef is fine, it's well enough known and a clear pronunciation swap (ph / f)

As baby has "your" surname I'd probably let DH have his spelling as its cultural not unique

How did I miss 7 pages??? "I need coffee

I say go for it but I'm probably biased as I'm a Scandinavian living in the UK and our son has a Scandinavian name. It's nothing too outrageous though, think Matty/Matti kind of thing. He also has a more Scandinavian middle name but I thought it was fair as we have a ridiculously common British surname.

I have an unusual name and volunteer in a school where there are loads of kids with unconventional spellings of names.
It’s fine. Yesit was mildly annoying growing up but now, I love my name!

This is your dh’s child too. I don’t think it’s a deal.

I have a Scottish surname and I have to spell it out each time and then correct the person when they say “No XXx on the end?”

NO! Because if there was an XXx on the end then I would have spelled that out for you

I think it might be a little odd if he had no Scandinavian ancestry but as he does, I think it’s lovely.

I am also with your DH. This sounds like it is about heritage and identity, and in a context where those things are especially sensitive given the broken relationship with his father. Explaining his Scandi heritage to people should be a source of pride. This is very different to someone opting for a random spelling just because they need to be "special".

In the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter how it is spelt

Argh, there are several countries in Scandinavia. They don't have the same names, they speak different languagesand there is no particular "Scandinavian spelling"! What country is it? And what is the name?

Swedish Norwegian and Danish are similar to each other, Finnish is not at all the same although Finnish names would be pronounced the same in the other languages and vice versa

I would to be honest if your DH is Scandi

Even if it's Soren using an 'o' with a / through it (keyboard can't manage that lol )

ineed Finland isn't in Scandinavia.

My son has European fore and sur names and always has to spell then out, but it's really no hardship.

I would give him the Scandi name. It's nice to have a link to his DF's background like that.

I'm TA in a class where there is a huge mix of nationalities. Conversely, a lot of their names are spelled the 'English' way but pronounced differently. Add to that, the many children named Sofia, Wiktoria, Izabela and goodness knows what else, but we all get along just fine and dandy!

Let your DH have his spelling, it's not a big ask.

Your DH is right. It’s a lovely nod to his heritage and your child will have no more issues with it than my very Anglo (originally Greek) name which is hardly ever spelled correctly, and I don’t mind.

I have a slightly unusual spelling of a common name ( along the lines of Jayne vs Jane) abd irs super annoying hashing spelling it again and again. It was always misspelled on school certificates etc. I wish I had the normal spelling