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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is being unreasonable? (lighthearted)

28 replies

theworldistoosmall · 23/03/2019 16:33

Five of us are in a bay in the hospital.
One keeps the others awake not only from the bay but other bays all night. Has done so for the past 4 nights.
The person cat naps during the day and is now snoring away and will be or at least an hour. This isn't always possible for others - trips to other departments, dr's etc you know what it's like.

The others are cranky and very sleep deprived and there's talk about signing themselves out against medical advice just to get sleep. They are also talking about somehow waking talky shouty singing person up. The nurses are saying let patient sleep as obviously tired. Others have said along the lines of so are we.

So wibu?
The other patients wanting to wake the patient?
Or the nurses for wanting to let the person sleep?

Obviously, I'm in the wake-up camp. I'm cranky, I want to sleep but cannot as waiting to go and have tests.

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 23/03/2019 16:36

They sing and shout at night? I’d be so grumpy too, you all need sleep.

Order654 · 23/03/2019 16:39

What is the person doing at night to keep everyone awake?

Sirzy · 23/03/2019 16:40

Presumably if someone is signing and shouting during the night they have a lot of issues. It sounds like it’s in everyone best interest for a private room to be found for them so everyone can rest as needed

WeeDangerousSpike · 23/03/2019 16:42

The singy shouty person ibu for singing and shouting at night.

The nurses / staff Abu if they aren't asking singy shouter not to at night, especially as they are now aware how unhappy others are. (assuming there is staff presence on ward at night when this is happening)

Have other patients told them to stfu when they do it?

Prequelle · 23/03/2019 16:43

The patient isn't a baby, we can't wake them up so they'll 'sleep through the night'

This is a phenomenon we call 'sun downing'. It's seen a lot in people with things like Alzheimer's, delirium etc.

It sounds like you're all being childish.

Omzlas · 23/03/2019 16:44

I'd definitely be having a conversation loud enough to wake them up but I also think that the staff need to intervene at night if they're keeping other patients awake. The suggestion of a private room or side ward is a good one

Prequelle · 23/03/2019 16:44

As for the private room idea, they're few and far between and have to be reserved for those with infections and those who are dying. In a dream world though...

Original poster
theworldistoosmall · 23/03/2019 16:47

Yes staff are aware.They are constantly asking her to be quiet. Day staff are also aware as it’s mentioned during hand over and she is the same during the day

Why is everyone being childish out of interest?

OP posts:
Burlea · 23/03/2019 16:47

Prequelle the other patients are ill as well, they also need their rest. Why should one person disrupt the others, he or she should be moved into their own room so they can sleep.

Original poster
theworldistoosmall · 23/03/2019 16:48

Side room has been mentioned

OP posts:
Madratlady · 23/03/2019 16:49

Presumably the person is unable to help it, as much as it’s unpleasant for you.

Prequelle · 23/03/2019 16:49

Because do you think that person is that way on purpose? Yet 4 compos mentis people are sat gossiping planning on purposely waking up an exhausted patient who has been up all night probably as a result of their condition. I get it you're tired, when I was a patient myself I've been through it, but this whole thing is just mean. That's a human being with an issue. A disability.

Madratlady · 23/03/2019 16:50

Side rooms are generally for people who are infectious or dying, I’m sure staff will move the person if possible but they’d be moved back again when someone with a need for a side room was moved onto the ward.

NeutralJanet · 23/03/2019 16:51

Its not childish to be at the end of your tether after 4 nights of disturbed sleep when you're ill. I'd be going insane and want to discharge myself too.

Prequelle · 23/03/2019 16:52

Prequelle the other patients are ill as well, they also need their rest. Why should one person disrupt the others, he or she should be moved into their own room so they can sleep

I'm sure you would be happy for your dying relative to be turfed out of their side room so this person can go in? Because that's the reality of the lack of side rooms.

And it's not nice for other patients, but what do you want? Chemical restraint? Give them drugs to shut them up? Because without a room to shove them in that's the only alternative. This person is SICK. They have an illness. They cannot help it. I'm sure 4 people can suck it up for a few nights while this person is living in a hell of their minds making.

Prequelle · 23/03/2019 16:52

neutral it's childish to be suggesting the idea of purposely waking up a bloody distressed cognitively impaired person.

Original poster
theworldistoosmall · 23/03/2019 16:55

I never mentioned the person is cognitively impaired. Whereas one of the others is.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 23/03/2019 16:57

This is why the closure of wards which supported those with things like Alzheimer’s is awful. Normal wards simply aren’t set up to cope with the needs of those who often need the most support.

Prequelle · 23/03/2019 16:58

So theyre fully with it and doing it for the fun of it is that what you're saying?

Prequelle · 23/03/2019 16:59

sirzy I agree, however Alzheimer's patients etc sometimes need specialist wards just as other people do so it can't be helped :(

Original poster
theworldistoosmall · 23/03/2019 17:00

Yes fully with it and said it’s not like they can be kicked out.

OP posts:
Prequelle · 23/03/2019 17:01

A person who is fully with it doesn't sundown and start singing and shouting during the night. You aren't privvy to their medical history, I suspect there's a lot more going on than you realise.

Original poster
theworldistoosmall · 23/03/2019 17:02

It's not just during the night as I have stated.

OP posts:
Prequelle · 23/03/2019 17:05

You've said they're able to cat nap through the day so it must be worse at night yes?

Anyway I've nothing else to say. I know it's difficult for you and I feel for you but I don't feel for a group of adults ganging up on someone who is clearly mentally/cognitively unwell and conspiring. I hope you're all well enough to go home soon and get some proper sleep.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 23/03/2019 17:08

I think it depends on the circumstances, if as prequelle says this is in relation to a condition, nothing can be done. However my grandfather was in hospital recently and the was a man opposite him in the bay, early fifties still in work, post leg surgery, perfectly lucid. Every day he would put his TV on as loud as it would go, then nap, snoring loudly. The nurse would go over and turn the TV down, not off, he'd wake up after half hour or so and put it back up, then promptly go back to sleep, this went on most of the day. He then listened to music and stayed awake most of the night, when nurses would ask him to turn it down he just said it was his 'right'. My gran even offered him a set of headphones, 'ooh I know it can be hard to hear the TV with all the hustle and bustle, would you like these I brought two pairs' , he refused. He was rude to nursing staff and made misogynistic comments about the nurses behind their backs and said he slept during the day so he didn't have to speak to his wife when she came in. She would sit by his bedside and read magazines while the snoring, TV nonsense was going on. My grandfather is 87 years old and was at his wits end.