AIBU: Crying/getting upset when dealing with conflict or a confrontation
I always feel myself getting very hot, stuttery, something teary, sightly shaky, heart palpitations and very defensive either when others confront me with a direct issue about my work performance or behaviour, etc. or even when I have to voice a strong opinion which is likely to offend a person, etc. (even if it's unprovoked as in I bring up the issue on my own accord)
I feel so weak and helpless that every confrontation feels so upsetting and like the end of the world, especially if it's done in front of other people. It's awful as my thoughts start becoming a bit erratic so I can't string a decent sentence of defence and good counter points don't come to me as I feel so "fight or flight" almost..
but then I'm highly reactive in that even positives make me super happy and negative interactions make me super stressed/upset (almost like a child) whereas I notice a lot of people are cool and composed both when happy things happen and when stressful negative things happen so their up/downs aren't as dramatic.
I just want to be able to get rid of this behaviour :( as it's hindering my health and performance.. any advice? I'm mid-20s and I think it was worse when I was a child but it's still quite bad now.