New bed = new mattress?

[butterkistRah]

Am I wrong here?
one of 2 kidults (20) who still live with us - pays rent, does chores so OK for now, but needs/wants a double bed (still using original single) Have got double bed but I want to get new mattress for him - OH says we should get the new one and he can use our 8 yrold mattress - nothing really wrong with it but this feels wrong! OH says we always sacrifice ourselves for them plus we need a new mattress and we're making things too comfortable. Not asked him for his view but I feel wrong handing down an old mattress which, lets be honest, is by now part us!
So - quick poll - buy new or re-use?

Buy new. Your eight year old mattress is due for replacement anyway.

Can he buy his own mattress?

I would not want a hand-me-down mattress.

When my dd lived at home they bought their own bed could that be an option i think passing on a mattress is a bit yuck I don't think I would like it

I would offer to buy him bog standard new mattress - cost around £100 from Ikea/Argos etc. If he wants a fancier one he can pay the extra himself.

Re use, IMO.

Let's put it this way - if you asked your son whether he wanted a new mattress or the anywhere between £100-£1000 cost of a new one as a gift, what would he say?

What’s wrong with giving him the parents old mattress if it’s perfectly comfortable, clean enough and does the job?

If your ds wants a double bed then give him the choice of either having your old mattress for free or buying his own new one, which he can take with him when he leaves home. Simple.

It would never be clean enough. It would be full of skin cells, sweat, bodily fluids, dust mites. Yuck.

8 years is also pretty old for a mattress. It's about the time it needs to be replaced anyway.

steff13 do you never sleep anywhere but your own bed then?

Your OH is right. If a new mattress is being bought then you should have it.

If DS has a problem with that, he can buy his own. You've already indulged his "need" for a double bed.

I wouldn’t want my parents old mattress!
Plus at 8 years old, it probably needs replacing anyway.
Is he able to pay for/contribute towards a new one?

reallybadidea

Even better than what I said - perfect.

You've asked yourself, your partner and now Mumsnet, but not actually your son! Which leads me to suspect he's not sweating over the thought of this, or it would have come up already...

If your ds wants a double bed then give him the choice of either having your old mattress for free or buying his own new one, which he can take with him when he leaves home. Simple.

Yup, that's what I'd do!

Thanks - emotive topic I know!
He earns and pays rent, but we never really defined what the rent covered - could argue that we should cover the cost based on contributions but like the parenting messages here so far of 'accept-re-used-for-free-or-pay-for-own-and-keep-it'.

Then there is the obvious 'body-horror' aspect here which is a personal preference..

I think were knackered on precedent/fairness though as we got his older brother new mattress when he moved up to double but wanted to give this an airing (unlike out mattress!)

I agree with your DH.Your adult child does not need a double bed,he wants one.He either gets one himself or accepts you kind offer of bed and your mattress.

If u bought his older brother one then it's only fair that u get him one