To ask how should I reply to my daughter requesting brown face makeup?

[Drizzlehair]

DD is 5, recently watched Moana and loved it.

She wanted to dress up like Moana for a bday party next weekend, she chose a red dress and then asked her dad if she could put some brown face paint on so she looked more like Moana.

I wasn't there and I think he dealt with it fine, but just wondering what you'd say to a 5 yr old who asked that?

For context she goes to a fairly mixed school with plenty of children of all ethnicities. I think she thinks it's just like painting her face like a lion after enjoying the lion king. And I'm struggling to find the right words to explain why it's different

This is the time to be honest in a simple way - kids accept things easily at this age.

Tell her that Moana is from a country where people geberally have browner skin, that skin colour isn’t a costume - it’s part of a person. It’s ok to want to look like anyone you want to but skin colour isn’t something we copy.

I think Merryoldgoat has an excellent idea of what to say.

Very nicely put, thanks

Beautifully put Merry "skin colour isn't a costume"

Merryoldgoat - perfectly put xxx

Tell her that Moana is from a country where people generally have browner skin, that skin colour isn’t a costume - it’s part of a person. It’s ok to want to look like anyone you want to but skin colour isn’t something we copy.

This is perfect IMO. She hasn't done anything wrong by asking and you should just reply honestly as to why she can't do it.

Yes agree with Merry, well put

Merryoldgoat - Your wise words are so kind & true.

This will be one of the shortest threads ever because nobody could possibly improve on Merryoldgoat’s post. Well set goaty!

*said!

I've actually just bookmarked this thread in case this issue ever comes up for me with my DD.... What a perfect way to explain it Merryoldgoat!

Well as many of us with brown skin come from this country - insert any country in the world btw - you might want to rephrase it slightly!!

Keeps Merrys details on speed dial for instant help with awkward situations

Well as many of us with brown skin come from this country - insert any country in the world btw - you might want to rephrase it slightly!!

No, it's fine, Merry is saying browner than the OP's daughter, not browner than the people of Britain!

I agree with Dottie. Why not make a tiny change in Merry's message.

Tell her that Moana has brown skin. People have all different skin colours. But this isn’t a costume - it’s part of a person. It’s ok to want to look like anyone you want to but skin colour isn’t something we copy.

Talking about different countries and skin being 'browner' suggests that there is a default colour that people 'should' have.

You're fabulous merryoldgoat.

Tell her it’s racist and you will end up in the daily mail with a sad face ‘my
Poor lickle baby just wanted to dress like
Moana’
Actually - listen to PP

That said kids learn young and fast about racism these days happily

Reminds me of the young (white) boy who wanted to dress up as his hero, Malcom X.

No 'blackface' make up required

Goodness! I’m rarely agreed with so much!

FWIW Dottie I’m a British mixed race person.

Acknowledging people from some places are browner does not mean brown people can’t come from here. It’s finding an explanation suitable for a small child that they can understand easily.

Acknowledging people from some places are browner does not mean brown people can’t come from here. It’s finding an explanation suitable for a small child that they can understand easily.

True, but it also makes it unnecessary to mention different countries. I would love the next generation of British people not to have anyone ask them where they are from and get a raised eyebrow when they say "Islington", which has been my lifelong experience.