WIBU to use a Sleep Consultant?

[Chimmychunga]

Money is tight so if it doesn't work, not only will I have lost a lot of money that I can't really justify spending but we will all still be sleep deprived.

We work on a tight budget so if I pinch and scrimp in other places I can just afford one for the week but it will be a very tight month and not something to be taken lightly.

However, If it works, to me it would be money very well spent.

My LO is 11months and I'm getting pretty desperate. He won't sleep longer than 4hours. I feel like I've exhausted all normal strategies.

I'm worried about the gamble. WIBU?

Look into the qualifications, experience , methods ( vary enormously) I spent 10 years doing it for free for the NHS. Talk to your Health Visitor, Ask her if she has done any additional training in sleep difficulties and if she hasn't could she refer you to a colleague who has. I don't think you need to pay, just find a person. Most of my methods were slow steady behavioural changes, not a quick fix and I would typically visit a family once a week for as long as it takes. A good professional would take time to learn about you and your child without suggesting a plan straight off. Don't go to anyone who suggests any extinction methods eg leaving to cry, controlled crying. Very occasionally this can be used to "polish off" what is almost achieved but shouldn't be used in the first instance. At 11 months you are probably looking at healthy daytime practices and good naps and bedtime settling , The nights then sort themselves

Thank you for your reply! I just wish there was some magic spray or something I feel so overwhelmed by it all and exhausted. I just want sleep. It's starting to affect my marriage

Not much to add, but my 11 month old won't sleep longer than 1.5 hours at a time no matter what I do :( day or night!

When my eldest son was 9 months old I paid £90 for a two hour phone call with a Sleep Specialist (after completing questionnaires for her about my difficulties) and all my problems were solved within 5 days! She was amazing!!!

Its been 4 years since we used her and am still so eternally grateful. Life was very bleak and difficult before her and she changed everything.

Maybe watch a few episodes of something like supper nanny or three day nanny first to see if you can get any ideas first?

A taxi cab driver gave me (unasked for, unwanted) shitty advice to give my child water and put them back to bed whenever they woke up. I laughed politely and ignored him.

Reader, it worked.

The trouble with sleep consultants is they are a bit like personal trainers - they’re not saying anything NEW to you that you couldn’t find out yourself. They just give you permission and support to use techniques that you aren’t sure of.

I used a sleep consultant when my eldest was 10 months. She went from waking every hour to sleeping 8 hours straight on the first night.

She sets aside a few sessions for people that can't afford her normal rates too.

sleepfairyparentrescue.co.uk/

(Hope links are allowed, sorry if not!)

My friend spent 800e on a consultant who told her all the same stuff you see from super nanny to any book or advice you can get for free in the library or online. Her kid still wakes up about ten times a night and she is 800e poorer.

They basically just hold your hand while the baby cries. Sleep train if you must but save your pennies if money is tight and do it from a book.

Dust - we used the same method with my dd at 12 months. First night - up for 2 hours. Second night - 15 minutes. Third night - slept through. Wish I’d tried it 3 months earlier!

However for my son nothing worked. Didn’t sleep through until 5 years old. I slept on his floor holding his hand just to get an hour or two at a time.

@Chimmychunga have pm’d you

Before you spend out I'd take to the drs and rule out anything medical that could he causing him to not sleep.

Any history of reflux? Intolerences or allergies? Does he eat and poo and pee normally?

Whata he doing when he is awake?

We've used a sleep consultant for both kids. Which sounds ridiculous. We used her for ds2 at around 1yo. He was quite tricky and she helped a lot, but it was essentially controlled crying with timed interval checks. She did overhaul our days too, seems to be all in the timing with him, to this day he needs to go to bed really early! And again for ds1 at age 4 when she totally lost it. She had a totally genius plan. We used sleepy moonkeeper. Bronze package first time. £35 phone call the second time which was actually the best money I've ever spent and saved my sanity and marriage.

Thanks for your replies, I spoke to HV at his 9-12month review and so far nothing has worked. She suggested the water and pick up put down when drowsy method. Not bringing him into bed with us. Etc.

He's completely normal food, wee, poo. No problems or history of reflux or anything.

It's like he just needs a cuddle. He is teething atm but he's always been like this. I think they call it a velcro baby. He's a limpit, even in the day.

Tried the water, he will go back in his crib in his room but then wake up 5 mins later. So I'm in and out giving him rock rocks and putting down, picking up again if needed. This goes on until I'm so exhausted it would be dangerous to continue and so I bring him into bed with me. He cuddles all night and will sleep for 3/4hours until 5.30/6ish then he is wide awake ready for the day.

I don't even feel like a person. I'm like a living zombie.

Maybe not what you want to hear, but my DS was exactly like this. We did controlled drying at 10 months.

The first night we went back in and stroked him, laid him back down and said good night after 2 minutes, then 4, then 8 etc. Never got past 16 minutes.

After 3 nights he slept through.

It was hard hearing him cry but it worked.

I'm sorry you're so tired. I think the reason it isn't working for you is you're not seeing it through, you're combining pick up put down with co-sleeping, so your baby is just waiting it out until you give in and take him into bed. Where is your husband in all this? The two of you need to decide a way forward. Either you co-sleep properly/safely so you can get some sleep, or you work together to see the pick up put down method through - so at the point you're about to cave in you swap with your dh instead and he takes over.

If your dh is not onside then it will be more difficult so maybe the sleep consultant would be worth it for a bit of moral support if you're not getting that at home.

Will your baby self settle for daytime naps in the cot? That might be a good place to start, using the pick up put down or similar method to help self settle for naps. It can be easier to keep your resolve in the daytime as it somehow doesn't seem so daunting.

I am desperate for sleep as well. I wish these sleep consultants offered a money back guarantee because I would pay double if it actually worked but just feel that I am going to be out of pocket and still have a non-sleeper.

We used www.smoothstartnannyservices.co.uk early last year.

She really is worth every penny. We've never had an issue since her week long stay and if we ever have a little disruption because we've been on holiday or whatever, she always answers her phone and gets us back on track. A few friends used her after and all had great expierences.

It was a bloody bleak time before she came though, sympathies OP.

I don't have anything useful to add but just wanted to send you a virtual hug. It's so hard isn't it. I have a five month old who won't sleep longer than two hours. You could try watching some of the "just chill baby sleep" videos on YouTube, she is very good I am trying to use some of her methods she's also on Instagram.