To think being a wedding guest is bloody expensive!

[NuclearReactor]

Just spent 350 on a two night stay for a friends wedding in a lovely hotel. On top of this there's an outfit, travel expenses, food,drink and wedding present to buy! I love my friend to bits and this is not a dig at her as I wouldn't miss it for the world but my god, I could go on a holiday for the same price!

AIBU to think everything regarding weddings is so pricey these days?!? (I've also spent £200 on a bridesmaid dress before for my SIL wedding which enraged me slightly massively)

Hi OP

Agree can be v expensive. Also agree it's v bad form to ask your bridesmaids to buy their own dresses.

Why not pick a less expensive hotel and wear an outfit you have worn to another wedding?

Or get your bridesmaid dress hemmed to knee length?

I don't think it's weddings but more that our loved ones can be scattered all over the place making travel and hotel stays necessary.

You don't need to buy a new outfit. Just see it as a great weekend away to a place you might not normally go to and you may have an amazing time. Just go for one night if you're really broke and stay in a bnb

Stay one night or drive if it’s close enough . Wear a dress you already have . It doesn’t have to be as expensive .

YANBU - they do get pricey. I love a wedding though!

Yes attending a wedding is very pricey. When we got married we picked a local church and venue so everyone could drive/get a taxi home rather than stay if they wanted. Nothing worse than getting an invite and knowing it's going to cost a fortune!

200 pounds!! Why didn't your Sil pay for the bridesmaid dress?
YANBU attending a wedding can get expensive, I have turned down a few because of the cost. The worst are destination weddings

I couldn’t agree more, the hen night, travelling to the venue, accommodation, a new outfit, a gift - it all adds up.

I love a wedding, but nowadays I’m inclined to decline an invite if it’s not a really close friend or family member.

I did try ask for one night but check in was an hour after the wedding began and it's miles away from everything so the only place I could stay suitable for me!

I must admit though I am looking forward to a couple nights of luxury even if my pockets aren't!

The bridesmaid dress is long gone as it would never be my choice of colour to wear. My SIL actually did say "but you can re use it!"

I refuse to pay out for these things anymore and I don't care how 'close' they are. It's ridiculous to expect people to shell out like this and expect a cash gift on top.

I also can't believe anyone insists on a particular bridesmaids dress and expects you to buy it yourself. You can only expect them to pay for it if they get to choose it themselves! (My friend just said a formal blue dress to her BM and they were happy to pay for their dress - they just chose one they could wear again).

They can be if they’re far away and need accom, outfits, gift, transport etc!
A few years ago I had 5 weddings in one year from spring to early autumn - all of them were at least 100 miles away and needed accom (sometimes two nights if further or an early start). Cost me a bomb and I couldn’t afford to go on holiday that year. Luckily they were generally for different friendship groups so I could re-use outfits!
It was lovely seeing all my friends get married, but I’m quite thankful I got most of them out of the way in one go

Who makes a bridesmaid pay for her own dress? Bloody hell

YANBU however, each to their own

So there’s no Travelodge or Premier Inn close by?

And yes agree bridesmaids shouldn’t buy their own dress, maybe if they can pick their own but generally no!

That said people deliberately picking awkward locations because of "our vision" is BU. Obviously if the couple live in London and you live in Edinburgh that's no one's fault.

It needn't be expensive to be a wedding guest.

It's often possible to drive down or get a bus or train. If not then there are almost always cheap local options like Airbnb and premier Inn.

Food and drink? Surely these are provided at wedding?

Neither is an outfit purchase necessary, unless you have not a single outfit appropriate. Even so, it's not necessary to buy new, and it can then be reworn.

So there’s no Travelodge or Premier Inn close by?

Like those are oh so cheap.

I hear you OP. Being a wedding guest is expensive.

And yes, in principle we stay at a premier Inn 12 miles away and get a taxi/ wear something we have already/ make them a handmade gift. Buy that still wouldn't be free so we may as well do it the expensive way and have the enjoyment of staying in the nice hotel where the party is and looking nice in the pictures.

yes, it is very expensive

I'm really hoping no other close friends get married. I always turn down the invitations from not-close people and it's surprising how many you get.

I also found that most people timed their weddings so that I had to stay two nights. I do have one lovely friend who offered to pay all my costs because I was out of work at the time he got married and he said to me "we really want you there and don't want you stressing about cost". I said no but his was one of the ones that started late so we could all get there without spending the night in the area first.

I've been invited to two weddings that were local ish, otherwise it's always been a trek.

coffee they'd be cheaper than £175 per night which is what the OP is paying for her hotel

Must admit I rarely buy a new outfit.

What pisses me off most is that most weddings I've been to are in the middle of nowhere. So no option to get public transport and the rooms at the hotel are either ridiculously expensive, or worst still, there are no rooms and you have to pay for a very expensive taxi.

I've been to some beautiful places that I would not normally go to. I think it's a bit miserable to moan about being invited to a lovely place for a wedding. I'm really glad I get invited!