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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To set up an Internet dating profile for my DB

15 replies

Blueblueyellow · 04/03/2019 14:08

Would I be unreasonable to do this? My DB is a great person, and I know he would love to meet someone but he has just been unlucky in love. My idea was to set up a profile on a dating site and tell him when he has a few matches or interest so he could take it from there as I know he would be shy to set one up himself. Is this a bad idea?

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 04/03/2019 14:10

Massively overstepping the mark.
If he wants to set something up that’s up to him.

PooleySpooley · 04/03/2019 14:12

If someone did this for me I would be furious.

MirriVan · 04/03/2019 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Leeds2 · 04/03/2019 14:35

If you did this to me, I would be going No Contact, sibling or not. It is hugely overstepping the mark.
Nothing wrong with asking him if he would like you to help him set up a profile if that is what he wants to do.

Bluestitch · 04/03/2019 14:36

No you have no right to do this. Suggest he tries OLD and offer to help with his profile but if he says no then respect his wishes.

hazell42 · 04/03/2019 14:40

If my family member did this 'for' me, I'd never speak to them again. You obviously feel his life is unsatisfactory, but if he wanted to join old he could, couldnt he?
Why do you need to stick your nose in?

foxsbiscuit · 04/03/2019 14:46

I see where your motivation is because I would like to do this for my sister as I don't know anyone that I could set her up with but as others have said I'd be mortified of it was me. Have you discussed it with him/offered to set one up with him?

SeaweedDress · 04/03/2019 14:47

It's only a good idea if he's fine with you interfering in his life.

shumway · 04/03/2019 14:50

Terrible idea.

Sparklesocks · 04/03/2019 14:53

If he wants to meet people that way then he will.
By all means ask him if he’s interested in online dating, and offer him to help set it up if he wants that, but don’t make it without his permission.

User10fuckingmillion · 04/03/2019 14:56

No no no!

ShatnersWig · 04/03/2019 15:03

Don't you bloody dare! What right thinking person would even consider this?

Original poster

Blueblueyellow · 04/03/2019 15:29

foxsbiscuit yes I had a good intention but unanimously here it's not a good idea.I wasn't planning to cat fish anyone but just wanted to give him a nudge.
So the right idea is to ask him and help him set one up of he wants.

OP posts:

Fluffyears · 04/03/2019 18:46

Why would you even think that was a good idea? My brother is in a similar situation but if he wants to on online then he will do it. My friend sent me a text once saying ‘i’m Looking at the singles ads in the paper, what age range would suit you?’ I thought she was joking but no she had cut out the section and was saying things like ‘oh he’s a builder bet he has muscles....’ she was actually going to call these ads and leave my number! I was happy going single and I hate paper dating profiles! I was so angry and upset especially as she says she was having a dinner party and inviting my other friend and her partner so they could be a nice foursome with her and her partner. She then says to me ‘you can only come if you finally get a boyfriend!’ I’d been single for 6 months and didn’t want to go to her wanky ‘couples night’ (neither did my other friend who ghosted her as she hated her interfering). You do not have the right to meddle!

ShadyLady53 · 04/03/2019 18:51

I’m in the same boat as your DB and I’m sick of everyone trying to force things and telling me to “get yourself on Tinder” or “get yourself to a Sperm Bank”. I can’t go to church without women trying to set me up with their 40 something never married sons.

I know you mean well but back off and let him do things his own way. Lots of us don’t want to use the internet to meet someone and don’t appreciate being set up. Let him ask you if he needs support but otherwise stay well away.

Flip