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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

He wees all over the seat

27 replies

DearDiary1 · 02/03/2019 22:13

DP's dad is a very nice man. He helps us out a lot, and is very pleasant.

However there is one negative, and it's driving me a little bit insane.

When he comes to see us, he never puts the toilet seat down. This is a real bug bear of mine, and fortunately DP always put it down. I can just about (reluctantly) deal with DP's dad doing this, but the problem is there is always piss all over the seat (as in, under the seat you sit on and not in the bowl itself). It means I always have to clean up after he's been in there and it's just not pleasant.

I'm not sure what to do - if I mention it to DP he will bring it up with his dad and embarrass him and I don't want to cause anyone to feel uncomfortable. But at the same time, I don't know why I should have to clean this up it's really odd for DP's dad to behave this way as in all other ways he's considerate and a bit of a 'clean freak'. He is not old or infirm and there's no reason for this to happen, I just don't know why he doesn't clean up the mess :s What is the best course of action?

OP posts:

Confusedbeetle · 02/03/2019 22:19

Toilets are a very bad design for men, I actually dont think you have much of a problem. I thought at first you were saying he peed with the seat down and wet the seat. If its on the bowl you can put the seat down and have no contact. Its not a big deal to wipe with toilet paper. Please dont dream of mentioning it to anyone, he will be mortified. I can think of a lot of things that are worse than this. he probably doesnt notice that he drips, most men dont

MumUnderTheMoon · 02/03/2019 22:24

Hang on, your putting up with being uncomfortable so that a grown man (who can't clear up after himself) isn't made uncomfortable? Just tel your dh to have a word.

Bigonesmallone3 · 02/03/2019 22:25

That is bloody gross but sounds like it's totally unintentional..
Just think if he did lift the seat it would still be splashing but probably out of the toilet!

Get one of those cheesy signs-

If u sprinkle when u tinkle please be sweet and wipe the seat..
Iv also seen one that says
Stand close- it may be shorter than u think..

And leave some anti bac spray laying around..

littlecabbage · 02/03/2019 22:28

Err, it can't be that difficult to notice if you are urinating in the toilet bowl or not. It's just laziness. Get DP to have a quiet word.

Singlenotsingle · 02/03/2019 22:31

Or a more direct notice? "If you make a mess, please wipe it up afterwards".

capaciousbladder · 02/03/2019 22:34

Much as I detest this, leave it up for the duration of his visits. Then back down in a normal, civilised way when he's gone

user1474894224 · 02/03/2019 22:35

Sorry I don't understand. If your dp's dad is lifting the seat then the wee is already there. Either your dp wees with the seat down and is splashing it, or you are, or....other people/kids in the house are. You just don't normally see it because the seat is down.

Next time you know he's coming, go and check under the loo seat... You'll see the mess already there.

janetforpresident · 02/03/2019 22:35

I would tell my dh to deal with it, either by clearing up after his own dad or speaking to him.

Lovingbenidorm · 02/03/2019 22:37

Please don’t embarrass him!
You say he’s a nice guy and I’m sure he’s not doing it on purpose.

Original poster

DearDiary1 · 02/03/2019 22:39

@user1474894224

The seat is down before he arrives. He puts the seat up, wees, and leaves wee on bit which is under the toilet seat (I'm not sure what that bit is called). He leaves the seat up.

I go in, seat is up. There is wee. I am not going to put the seat down without clearing this up. Hope that made sense

OP posts:

HoppityFrog3 · 02/03/2019 22:41

Get a sign like THIS and put it over the toilet.

justasking111 · 02/03/2019 22:43

He probably has prostate problems, a poor flow very common at his age. Ask your partner to have a quiet word.

BlueSkiesLies · 02/03/2019 22:53

Poor flow doesn’t mean you get to splatter your piss everywhere for someone else to clean up. It’s gross and rude.

He needs to sit down to Pisa if he can’t wipe up after himself.

Get DH to have a quiet word. Or get DH to wipe his dads piss up.

Arnoldthecat · 02/03/2019 23:00

Why dont men simply sit down to pee? I do if at home so whats the problem or am i a weirdo?

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 02/03/2019 23:02

Tell your DP you won’t be cleaning his dad’s piss up anymore and he can do it. If he decides to talk to his dad about it, so be it.

teainthemorning · 02/03/2019 23:09

Arnoldthecat you are not weird - my H sits down too. Has done for ages (probably started when we had boys and he realised just how much pee misses the bowl).

PepsiLola · 02/03/2019 23:10

I wouldn't clean up my in laws urine.... Male your DP do it and then the problem is solved with no embarrassment

PepsiLola · 02/03/2019 23:10

Make*

CinammonPorridge · 02/03/2019 23:31

would ask partner to ask his dad to put the loo seat down and to wipe the loo after his dad has gone.

Ontheboardwalk · 02/03/2019 23:54

How old is he?

I have an elderly relative who comes to visit and his aim and eyesight isn’t very good. He tries to clean up best he can if he misses (has dodgy hips so issues getting up and down without his aids) I understand this and doesnt bother me in the slightest

If no issues then this does sound dodgy and disrespectful. your DP needs to sort it out

babysharkah · 02/03/2019 23:55

My husband does this it's fucking gross and a major bone of contention. I have threatened to wipe his toothbrush in it. I don't see why I should wipe piss off the seat at home when I wouldn't do it in a public toilet.

janetforpresident · 03/03/2019 00:03

babysharkah why in gods name can't he wipe his own piss up?

babysharkah · 03/03/2019 00:09

He blames it on the kids. Drives me fucking insane. He's a regular normal bloke good dad and all that shit but will walk out of the toilet in light coloured trousers with a wee patch. Blow jobs are off the menu until he can sort it out.

Poshjock · 03/03/2019 00:16

Are you saying that when you walk into the loo and you are seeing the underside of the toilet seat because it’s up and therefore facing you, that you see yellow splashes. Because if that is the case chances are it’s not him causing them. I have come to the conclusion in my house it’s me . If the seat is up it’s the bowl that suffers my DHs splashback. When I’m sitting down my pee hits the front of the bowl and splashback hits the underside of the seat I am sitting on. I was quite sad when I realised this as I always thought men were the splashy mucky pups (men’s toilets always smell rank, women’s less so) but I’ve checked and the underside seat marks are definitely me.

animalprintfree · 03/03/2019 03:23

I understand your frustration, but seeing as he's a nice man, your father-in-law and a guest in your house... I'd just clean it, if I were you.

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