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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take away DD's wedding dreams?

80 replies

PutsFootInIt · 28/02/2019 22:10

My daughter had a tantrum last night because I told her she couldn't be the mother of the bride at my wedding to her father. She's 3. Should I just dress her up in a pastel dress and matching jacket and put a fascinator on her head?

OP posts:
Bodear · 28/02/2019 22:11

Of course.

JoyceDivision · 28/02/2019 22:11

Yes. Also shimmery.lipstick to emphasise pursed lips when she sees something she disapproves of.(Usually it would be the groom Grin)

AutumnCrow · 28/02/2019 22:12

A peach outfit, please.

pallisers · 28/02/2019 22:13

Compomise. Tell her she can be the mother of the groom and put her in a miniature wedding dress to upstage you.

Luckingfovely · 28/02/2019 22:13

Ooh yes, but don't let her at the gin Grin

dontfluffthefluffer · 28/02/2019 22:13

Also a black patent handbag that goes with nothing but will be clutched to her front the entire time as if her life depended on it.

fezzesarecool · 28/02/2019 22:13

Go for it!

My dd’s (5) distraught that she can’t marry her brother (2) so I’m allowing it for now

Jezzifishie · 28/02/2019 22:13

Grin Aww, that's hilarious! My 4 year old is also wedding obsessed at the moment. She thinks she's going to marry me or DH...

GoGoGadgetGin · 28/02/2019 22:14

Omg puts you're like obsessed!!! Total bridezilla!! It's just one day... It's about faaaaammilyy (have l missed anything?!)
I suppose she could have a new role of 'daughter of the happy couple' ?

Loopytiles · 28/02/2019 22:14

Excellent future MN MIL behaviour!

RiverTam · 28/02/2019 22:17

A nice coat dress should do the trick.

TheCraicDealer · 28/02/2019 22:18

Can you dress a sibling up as MOTheGroom in exactly the same outfit as her but in a different colour? Because that's not what happened at my wedding [whistles]

NWQM · 28/02/2019 22:29

If she has offered to pay you are being very unreasonable.

SapphireSeptember · 28/02/2019 22:32

I thought this was going to be something terrible, but nope, it's actually quite sweet instead. Grin Smile

She can be Daughter of the Bride instead, and should wear a nice shade of lilac with a pretty hat. (I hate hats, my mum didn't wear one when I got married.)

Congratulations OP! I hope you all have a fabulous day. Flowers

OlennasWimple · 28/02/2019 22:34

I recommend repeated exposure to Jacques Vert to cure the problem

Girlzroolz · 28/02/2019 22:35

Coat dress is a yes- as long as it’s lilac or peach (salmon at a pinch).

Don’t forget to add ‘something blue’, cos it’s soooooo very funny when the MOB borrows bridal traditions. Perhaps a garter? A scrunchie will do, given your dd’s size.

And a spritz of Crabtree n Evelyn. Any of them.

manicinsomniac · 28/02/2019 22:48

My friend's daughter had a tantrum because she couldn't be the bride at her parents' wedding. She was determined that she was 'going to marry daddy and mummy could come too and look after them!'

Can you sell her the maid of honour role instead?

ICouldBeSomebodyYouKnow · 28/02/2019 22:51

She's 3. She can be anything she wants: mother of the bride, father of the bride, chief bridesmaid - even the bride! And all at once. Give in now.

Wolfiefan · 28/02/2019 22:52

Do it. Take pics. Save them for bribery purposes to ensure calm and pleasant teen years. Grin

Al2O3 · 28/02/2019 22:58

Beware she doesn’t lose a tooth the night before and refuses to go to the wedding. She may sell her story to Hello, Vanity Fair or The Daily Mail and day she was disinvited.

Wanderlusting99 · 28/02/2019 23:11

I'd let her, it's harmless. My DD has been asked to be a bridesmaid by her uncle, she will not accept that she doesn't get a veil. She's 6. That one we can't get away with !

StillCoughingandLaughing · 28/02/2019 23:36

It depends. Does she just want to wear a lilac dress with a corsage, or is she prepared to get into the spirit of the thing? When you tell her you’re going with dark red for the bridesmaids, will say raise her eyebrows and say ‘Dark red? Very dark? For a spring wedding? Well of course if you like it that’s what matters; it’s not my place to say...’

When you tell her you’re having chicken for the main, will she say ‘That’s nice dear’, or ‘Oh - how practical. No one gets offended by chicken. Not everyone wants to be adventurous, do they? Of course, when Delia Walker’s daughter got married everyone raved about the salmon. People still talk of Delia Walker’s daughter’s salmon to this day. Not to mention The passion fruit terrine... but you have what you like, dear. Whatever you think best’.

Is she prepared to passively aggressively badger you to quiz the mother of the groom on what colour she’ll be wearing? Will she declare ‘Aquamarine? What a... bold choice, with her complexion’.

Tell her you’re more than happy for her to audition, but you’ll need her to really commit to the role.

PutsFootInIt · 01/03/2019 08:36

😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣 i fell asleep and half forgot I posted this last night. Some great advice here.

She hasn't contributed any money, no, so I don't think I should have to give in to her demands. Do I tell her to her face to face or send her a strongly worded text? Or should I just go NC until the wedding?

She actually thinks it is 'our' wedding (our being mummy, daddy, her and her little brother 1). Which is very sweet so we are going to attempt to have them with us for the vows but not sure how smoothly that will go.

OP posts:
FrozenMargarita17 · 01/03/2019 08:41

I think a strongly worded text should do it but run it by us before you send it so we can make MN approved changes Grin

I can't wait until my daughter does this sort of thing haha.

LondonBelongsToMe · 01/03/2019 08:42

My dd has a wedding themed birthday party when she was 5. Lots of tiny nylon meringue dresses from TK Max and confetti and pink and sweetie trees. She used to force her sister to walk behind her holding the end of a fitted sheet that went on her head as a cathedral length train. Awesome.

Your daughter has gone one beyond with selecting a more niche but potentially more fun role. Amazing. I trust she’s insisting on inviting all her friends from playgroup so she has some company?

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