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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel completely overwhelmed by cleaning

72 replies

ItsBloodyFreezingg · 20/02/2019 12:43

Does anyone else wonder how people find the time to keep such lovely clean homes 24/7?

There are pets and 2 children in our house, both me and DH work full time and I just feel so overwhelmed.

DH is good, he will help often when he's around but he works long hours and often at the weekend too so naturally most of the housework falls to me simply because I'm there more.

I find that when I've got in from work, done the usual necessary jobs like washing up, cooking tea, putting the washing on etc... I can't find the time to properly clean the house.

Tidying is fine, the house is usually always tidy but it's things like dusting everywhere, mopping floors, cleaning windows, cleaning skirting boards etc...

I'm seriously considering getting a one time cleaner in just to do it properly and then I can keep on top afterwards (or try).

I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle with it constantly.

Whenever I visit my friends home it's always lovely and sparkling clean and I think my God, she must not do anything else but clean because that's what I'd need to do to get my house looking anywhere near that good, it honestly makes me feel like a failure. She doesn't work so she admits that's how she keeps it up but it gets me down every time I think about it.

Anyone else wonder how people do it?!

OP posts:
mummmy2017 · 20/02/2019 12:45

Book a day off, agree it with your friend , tell her you will trade a morning helping you clean for lunch out..

babysharkah · 20/02/2019 12:47

Can you afford a regular cleaner?

Original poster
ItsBloodyFreezingg · 20/02/2019 12:48

babysharkah no not really.

I always feel like I shouldn't need one as well, other people obviously manage so why can't I?!

OP posts:
Damntheman · 20/02/2019 12:49

I'm with you OP, in exactly the same place!

LittleMissMarker · 20/02/2019 12:50

I have a weekly cleaner. Place isn't totally sparkling but it's habitable. If you're both working full time, you have pets and children, and in fact your DH is working more than full time hours, then a cleaner seems a very good investment. The cleaner should at least cover the hours that your DH is unable to contribute.

Damntheman · 20/02/2019 12:50

Then again, I did find out recently - to my surprise - that MANY of my friends have a cleaner and I just didn't know.

Flurgle · 20/02/2019 12:50

Organised Mum system?

juliej00ls · 20/02/2019 12:53

My house is clean because I pay a cleaner it’s a battle just persuading everyone to put things away and tidy up. Best money I spend on 2 hours of essential clean while I’m at work I then keep on top of what she’s done.

Original poster
ItsBloodyFreezingg · 20/02/2019 12:54

Can I ask those of you who have a weekly cleaner, how much you pay for that?

We're not living in poverty but it's not something we could afford it it was silly money iyswim.

OP posts:
Original poster
ItsBloodyFreezingg · 20/02/2019 12:55

Organised Mum system

I'll have to Google!

OP posts:
PlinkPlink · 20/02/2019 12:55

Look at The Organised Mum.

Life saver for me.

Half an hour daily maximum. Plus daily jobs of dishes, one load of washing, making beds and cleaning something in the bathroom.

I think it's an hour max for me 🤔

MNHQ
HebeMumsnet · 20/02/2019 12:56

OP I do what you're thinking of and get a one-off professional clean about once a year (sometimes less, ahem).

I just found that when we had a cleaner they only ever had time to do the topsoil stuff anyway and I can kind of do that myself (because it's so obvious you have to!), whereas the hideous filth in corners and under furniture never got tackled. This way someone sorts all the awful hidden stuff and things like skirting boards that never get done and then we just keep on top of Hoovering, bathroom cleaning etc the rest of the time.

I just invite all our friends round in the weeks after it's been done and not for the rest of the year when it all starts to go to shit!

RolaColaAllTheWay · 20/02/2019 12:58

It's never ending, I agree. We now have a rule! No washing up during the day, we save it all up for night. Cleaning windows, skirting boards? nah, unless we can't look out we'll clean the windows. My thought is: if you want a viewing, please make an appointment. If you want to visit, just turn up :-). Our house is lived in, it's not a museum :-)

MaryShelley1818 · 20/02/2019 12:58

We have a fortnightly cleaner...costs us £48 per month. She does 2hrs and is amazing!
We have a large 4-bed Edwardian house and she hoovers everywhere, cleans the wooden floors, the windowsills, all 3 bathrooms and dusts everywhere.
It means in between we just need to hoover (daily) and wipe round after ourselves.

Emeraldshamrock · 20/02/2019 13:01

people obviously manage so why can't I?
They do not manage, most familys with 2 ft working parents use a cleaner, outsource the ironing, or get extended childcare.
I work 20 hours and DP FT, it is overwhelming for me PT. You can't do it all with DC and young children. Prioritise and forget the rest. A cleaner for 2 hours every fortnight would make a difference.

OliviaCat · 20/02/2019 13:01

Basically we sell a massive lie to our children that life is much more than cleaning and laundry and boring work.

It's hard I think. I work FT but from home and that means I can spend time getting it clean. It's boring though.

LittleMissMarker · 20/02/2019 13:09

other people obviously manage so why can't I?!

You said it yourself. Your friend is not employed full time, or at all in fact. It's too easy to imagine that other women are just better than you but the reality is usually that they are under less demand. They have more time to put in to housework, or their husbands do. It is not a reflection on your competence as a woman, a wife or a mother.

Having realistic expectations of yourself will help you find a practical solution to the problem. Whether it's accepting that you have to live in a scruffy house for the time being, or hiring in help. Don't feel obliged to work yourself to death just to prove it can be done.

AzraiL · 20/02/2019 13:11

I've been there, I feel you. If your house is messy atm, you'll probably need to dedicate a day to getting it back into shape. After that, allocate a specific amount of time or a specific job daily to keep on top of things other than what you already do. Either half an hour a day or one specific task, like cleaning the toilet/bathroom, or dusting, or vacuuming and mopping main areas, or vacuuming bedrooms, or doing a couple of extra loads of washing and then folding them while you watch tv. Also, every time you get up to go to the bathroom or go to grab a drink try to do a quick small job, like tidying and wiping the coffee table or putting laundry away. Leave big jobs like car washing or window washing or lawn maintenance/outdoor cleaning for weekends or days off. If you do little bit every day you can keep on top of it and not feel overwhelmed. It works for me, hope it works for you too if you decide to try it. Best of luck!

Pernickity1 · 20/02/2019 13:16

The organised mum method is really good but it always takes me longer than she suggests. I’m not sure I could do it if I worked full time.

Could you draw up a rota with your DH (and your DC if they’re old enough). Set jobs on set days so you know it will get done? Or plan for your DH to take the DC out so you can do a deep clean once a month? Then you can let slip for the rest of the mo th until the next deep clean?

As for being a “failure” and wondering how others do it - you have your answer - your friend doesn’t work! So she obviously has more opportunity to do a half hour here and a half hour there which all adds up.

I’m a SAHM for the most part (work from home two days) and I STILL can’t keep on top of it Blush so be kind to yourself OP you’re NOT a failure!

Motherofcreek · 20/02/2019 13:17

I am like this but I only work one day a week Blush

Two kids and a really scruffy dh. Every single day I clear the same shit up and every single day I find more and more to do Sad

I'm beyond tired as my two year old does not sleep!

I'm fully at 'opening a cupboard door and chucking something in and slamming door shut before it all falls out' stage!

Kids have trashed my once nice house SadAngry

justmyview · 20/02/2019 13:24

the house is usually always tidy but it's things like dusting everywhere, mopping floors, cleaning windows, cleaning skirting boards etc

Declutter, declutter, declutter. Cleaning skirting boards takes a couple of minutes if you're not moving piles of junk out of the way first

Windows don't need to be cleaned all that regularly

Get a robot cleaner. Most are vacuum cleaners, but I think you can buy some which also mop

AhFeck · 20/02/2019 13:49

Get rid of all your shit and get into a routine. I can guarantee you have too many things and it would halve your cleaning time if you got rid of them.

Hiring someone to do a deep clean would be the best place to start. But I would also hire a skip and be ruthless with what you throw out. That way it is easier to see what needs to be done and you don't have to spend ages moving/sorting things, you can just clean it and go.

Im cringing at the saying 'my house is lived in', people who say that usually live in filth Envy

LuaDipa · 20/02/2019 13:57

Honestly, get a cleaner. The cost may seem prohibitive but you will not regret it. I live at work and when I’m home I want to spend time with the family. The day to day stuff keeps me busy enough.

At one point I was considering dropping to 4 days at work to keep on top of the housework and a wise woman told me that if I could afford to do that, I could certainly afford a cleaner! She was 100% right and I now have a cleaner and ironer and I feel so much more in control.

LaurieMarlow · 20/02/2019 14:00

I work almost full time and don't have a cleaner. However, my standards are pretty low. For example ...

the house is usually always tidy but it's things like dusting everywhere
I wave a duster around about once a fortnight. Or a quick swipe with a wipe.

mopping floors
Gets done once a week, we have a steam cleaner it's great.

cleaning windows
Once in a blue moon

cleaning skirting boards etc
Again once in a blue moon, or if clearly dirty, a very quick wipe down.

We do basic maintenance (kitchen, basic tidying) through the week and about 2hrs on the weekend (hoovering, mopping floors, bathrooms). I once googled the organised mum method and thought that looks like far too much cleaning for me.

The house is fine. Not immaculate, but comfortable.

Original poster
ItsBloodyFreezingg · 20/02/2019 14:04

MaryShelley1818 £48.00 a month is brilliant! I had quotes for a one time clean nearing £100?!

OP posts: