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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is a rude reply to an invitation?

33 replies

smurfgirl · 05/07/2007 15:10

I have been harping on about my birthday for ages and texted people this morning asking for a yes/no for a meal so I could book a table.

Just got a reply saying - well i have nothing else planned so I am a yes for now.

Um. To me that implies that if something else better comes up its a no - why can people not commit to a fecking meal for their mates birthday which is only 2 weeks away.

OP posts:
Mindles · 05/07/2007 15:11

I think that's very rude. Unless it was meant as a joke?

littlelapin · 05/07/2007 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GameGirly · 05/07/2007 15:11

If I were you I'd change the venue, and let everyone know except them.

littlelapin · 05/07/2007 15:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrettyCandles · 05/07/2007 15:12

It's almost certainly meant as a joke, but it's so rude that it's a very poor and bad taste joke.

Howdydoody · 05/07/2007 15:13

Love LL suggestion!

Original poster
smurfgirl · 05/07/2007 15:14

Not a joke - badly thought out I suspect. Shite tho.

Ho hum. I suspect nobody will turn up anyway so at least she is being honest!

OP posts:
funkimummy · 05/07/2007 15:14

Yes for now?!!?!?! What sort of friend are they? Send a text back saying that you've got too many booked at the table and can't place them so they can go and find something else to do 'for now'

sandyballs · 05/07/2007 15:14

How weird! Very rude.

funkimummy · 05/07/2007 15:15

Smurf don't be sad!! I expect they'll all come! You've just got 'I'm organising my own party' nerves!

expatinscotland · 05/07/2007 15:15

That's beyond rude.

I'd text them back with what lapin said.

Original poster
smurfgirl · 05/07/2007 15:19

Its a friend in a group of friends so would not get away with it,

I always have shite birthdays that nobody remembers or botheres about so this year will be DIFFERENT and apparently bullying (well nicely) people into attending is the only way. Hmmm.

OP posts:
Katy44 · 05/07/2007 15:23

That must be a joke, the kind I'd make, but ONLY to a friend who would know me ell enough to know I was definitely coming and wouldn't miss it. Otherwise it can be misinterpreted.

aDad · 05/07/2007 15:26

V V V rude

tell them it's probably best they dont come in that case

SweetyDarling · 05/07/2007 15:27

A joke SURELY!? Sounds like something my friends would say, but I would never imagine it was anything but a joke.

Carmenere · 05/07/2007 15:29

Very rude and, as texting takes time and effort, not a mistake I'm afraid.

I would text back and say it's an invite and not an ordeal and to hump off if he/she can't be bothered being pleasant. But then I am pre-menstrual atm.............

Mumpbump · 05/07/2007 15:36

Very rude! Text back and say you have to give definite numbers so if she's not sure, you'll count her out!

melsy · 05/07/2007 15:36

Thing is you all say its rude , but it seems to be the way people speak with each other for some reason. It seems many are laissez faire about other peoples feelings and old fashioned politness and that seems acceptable discourse in social circles in our society. Weirdly I feel its borne out of the email & msn culture of not quite having to engage in the same way before these technologies came about.

I dont enjoy sorting my own parties , so I know how you feel. I get that sick feeling that no ones going to want to come.

morningpaper · 05/07/2007 15:37

This is why Texting Is Evil

3andnomore · 05/07/2007 15:38

((((Smurf))))

frapachino · 05/07/2007 15:39

lol! Don't take it personally at least she's honest

time4me · 05/07/2007 15:42

I think it is heartless and demoralising.
I have some very sensitive mememories about this cos when I was about 23 and everyone was with a boyfriend I had a so called friend who would agree to my invitations out on condition she didnnt get a date first.I havent got any friends and I think its because I just got very disillusioned. Loyalty seems to be a turn off for a lot of people.If I got an invitation I would have text back yes,brilliant,lk forward to it. Is it just me or is anyone else like that similar.A psychiatrist told me I tried too hard,Id like to think I was just friendly.

melsy · 05/07/2007 15:45

nice psychiatrist time4me !!!! How can one "try to hard" , if it doesnt take then the person may be not worth all your lovely kind energy.

time4me · 05/07/2007 15:48

Do you know you have made me feel better for the first time in years.Thank you.
If friendship is about bullying,competitiveness,being honest ( cruel in fact ) you can keep it.She can do without this friend,it`s very unkind.

Original poster
smurfgirl · 05/07/2007 16:15

time4me - its my 23rd birthday!!

Tis v.stressful organising your own birthday, I have been asking people for a while (due to past experience of everyone not bothering) and even then I have had 2 people text me back saying they could not come because they were broke ffs - I told them a month ago! (and these are young, child-less people who only have to spend their money on themselves)

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

OP posts: