To try and meet my ex

[henas]

I'm just trying to gauge if this sounds desperate.
Split with my ex 4.5 years ago, he moved away. The break up wasn't exactly amicable, I was very angry and quite awful to him, but when he moved away, we messaged every few months to catch up and got on.
While he was away, I met DP and got pregnant quite quickly. I now have a toddler and DP and I have split.
Ex moved back about a year and a half ago. We still message every 3-4 months for a brief catch up. Every time since he's been back we've said that we were gonna catch up soon but haven't got round to it.
Anyway, does it sound desperate to message, and ask bluntly if he wants to meet up. I can't think of any way to word it or if I even want to send it. I don't want to sound ridiculously desperate, I haven't seen this guy in 4.5 years and don't want to just seem... needy or over keen.

Just to clarify, this isn't desperate in a way that I'd want to start a relationship or anything of the sort with him, it's just generally I'd like to see him after so long as we were quite young!

Just leave it be. If he'd wanted to see you it would have happened by now. Leave it for what it is....an online friendship.

@user1474894224 I guess - thanks for your reply!

I agree. Just leave it.

It comes across as your desperate to see him as you still want him. If you don’t then don’t bother.

Well .. don’t bother anyway as he clearly isn’t interested.

To the people who have said he's clearly not interested...perhaps he feels the same? Just playing devil's advocate. Ask him if he fancies a coffee sometime, as you would for any other friend.

Thanks everyone - reading everyone's replies with interest, feels like the only way is to hear an outsiders view on it!

YOLO! Go for it, he can only say no and then you know for sure what he's thinking either way.

@IHaveAnOutie I'm trying to develop that attitude but if he avoided the question/said no and I'd been so bold, I'm the type to feel so awkward!!!!

Nope. You won't be able to be just friends without weirdness and you broke up for a reason.

Why do you want to meet him? I think it will come across to him like you want to restart the relationship, especially if you are single.

What do you want to meet up for exactly? Just to catch up or to see if there is anything still there?

I think if you couldn’t make it work then, it’ll be impossible now with your extra baggage.

I’d not bother myself

Take your rose-coloured specs off, OP.
Things are NEVER the same when revisited.
And there's always a reason they were left in the past.

I met up with my ex bf that I’d been out with during uni after we’d been broken up for 3 years. He finished uni before me and ended it, he broke my heart. I moved away after that and then went to the other side of the world so our lives were just in completely different places, literally. I did eventually move back home after I was done travelling and found myself wondering about him. I had thought about him when we were apart but I thought life had moved on. I’d been thinking of asking him for a drink just to see and ran my idea by the people who I worked with at the time, one of the blokes said “you only live once, ask and see”. So I did.

It’s 10 years ago this year since we met up for that casual drink. We are married with 2 small children and he’s dozing on the sofa next to me as I write this! I’m glad I took a chance, I’m not saying you’ll marry this man but what’s the harm in meeting up?! I was so worried about looking like an idiot etc but meh so what!

@MilkybarsROnMe congratulations! What a lovely story