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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Judgemental people!

23 replies

CandyCreeper · 22/01/2019 10:10

I got on the bus today to take my kids to school. They got on the and sat at the back and I stood in the pram space with the buggy.
After a few minutes the women sat on the chairs next to the space started moaning about people with school children who get on buses. “In our day we walked with our kids” and how no one walks anymore so no wonder so many people are overweight! (which I am but currently on a diet, gained alot in pregnancy.) They were saying that theres no excuses not to walk, That children get on the bus and take up seats and dont offer them to people, (mine were sat at the back where there was other seats) How its lazy and they should walk and get fresh air! That the walk isnt far and they shouldnt get on the bus. It was clearly aimed at me and there was no one else with school children on the bus. They continued this rant for my entire bus journey. I looked at them a few times as if to say I know that your talking about me but they seemed to avoid eye contact. Aibu to be annoyed? I use to walk all the time to school for the last 2 years I didnt get on the bus but thats when the bus was a single decker and its now been made into a double decker (meaning there is more space to get on with the pram) They dont know my circumstances or why I get on the bus. So basically its ok for them to get on the bus but not anyone else?! I have a child with a disability anyway but because it isnt visible we are being judged for using a bus and not walking. I said to them we I got off that they are rude and judgemental and asked them why they dont walk, they didnt answer funnily enough.
WIU to say something? Would you have?

OP posts:
TinyTwat · 22/01/2019 10:14

TBH if I were you, I wouldn't have waited till I got off to say something. I would have just said, "If you are talking about me, I really couldn't give a flying fuck about your opinions or what you did in your day, so wind your neck in" But I have been known to be a bolshy bitch.
Honestly, don't let it bother you, some people just can't help themselves

Dimsumlosesum · 22/01/2019 10:15

They were judgemental bitches. Ignore the stupid cows.

Original poster
CandyCreeper · 22/01/2019 10:17

I did say it as I wad getting off your right I should have said it when they were talking. Its really annoyed me as they dont know anyones circumstances so shouldnt be judging. I was late getting them to school this morning as DD has suddey started to refuse going so I was late getting out, only a mug wouldnt hop on a bus that gets them there in less than half the time when there was space for us. Im entitled to get on a bus I pay my fair people shouldnt be so judgemental.

OP posts:
letsdolunch321 · 22/01/2019 10:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SaucyJack · 22/01/2019 10:20

You don’t need to justify yourself to them or any of us on here.

If they were genuinely concerned about people not getting enough exercise these days then they wouldn’t have been sat on the bus themselves.

Some people are just arseholes who enjoy making other people feel small for the sheer spite.

Meangirls36 · 22/01/2019 10:20

That's the problem with buses the local crazies come out in force.

Sicario · 22/01/2019 10:23

What a cow. I hope if you see her again you'll not take any more of her nonsense.

Magicpaintbrush · 22/01/2019 10:26

YANBU. It's unbelievable how rude some people can be. They know nothing of your circumstances or how far you have to travel to and from school. To sit there being judgemental, and so loudly, is ridiculous actually because it obviously didn't occur to them that by acting this way they are showing everybody that they have very bad manners - and therefore who are they to judge anybody? I actually think this kind of behaviour is born out of ignorance and stupidity and a lack of social skills.

I can't walk my DD to school either OP, mainly because we would have to walk up a national speed limit road with no pavement and it's too dangerous - the only alternative would be a lonely woodland route over a railway level crossing which seems to me to be equally dangerous and I'm not prepared to take my child that way. That and I need to get home quickly to start work. It's nobody else's business.

I hope you don't see these women again.

Bluelady · 22/01/2019 10:26

Entitled whores? No judgement there, then. Oh the irony of accusing people of being judgemental in the most judgemental place on the internet.

MeredithGrey1 · 22/01/2019 10:28

They were saying that theres no excuses not to walk

So they were sitting on a bus, not walking, whilst bitching about people who don't walk and take buses instead Hmm They sound extremely judgemental and rude.

Original poster
CandyCreeper · 22/01/2019 10:33

Oh no according to them its only
people with school children who should walk?! I honestly didnt get there comment. And thats why “so many people are over weight” Its freezing cold here where I am honestly why wouldnt someone get on a bus. We live in a very hilly place with lots of main roads to cross which half the time the drivers dont stop. It was all weirdly aimed at people with school aged children.

OP posts:
Ringdonna · 22/01/2019 10:35

We are all judgemental at some point.

Original poster
CandyCreeper · 22/01/2019 10:37

THats fine ringdonna but surely keep it to yourself or atleast be discreet!! getting on the bus is not a crime, plenty of people walk out the door into there car on their drive but no one
is judging that!

OP posts:
Yabbers · 22/01/2019 10:39

They were being judgemental, you were right to be annoyed. I'd have spoken out, or had a loud discussion with my child about how awful it must be to be so invested in how other people live.

However, the language here used to describe them is utterly despicable.

Catsandbootsandbootsandcats · 22/01/2019 10:39

I've seen people moaning before about parents taking children on the bus. It's bizarre! Who knew there was an age limit on buses? Oh, that's right, there isn't.

Jealousy that in their day they had to walk because buses didn't have spaces for pushchairs? (Even when I had my oldest 20 years ago there weren't many buses with pushchair spaces)

What's the maximum distance people should walk before they think they're allowed on a bus?

Daffodils07 · 22/01/2019 10:40

I had the same thing a few months ago, this was from a lady who uses the bus a lot.
I had 2 seats between 3 of us, 2 of my children have autism and I have a metal bar in the top part of my leg which I needed put in to stop me having to use a wheelchair (but still gives me a lot of pain).
We where sat one up from the disabled seating so no bother to anyone else.
But this lady decided to start saying how I'm taking up all the seating.
I told her how rude she was, and that by far was a worse trait then seating on seats that I had paid for and the bus was bloody empty.
Funny thing is she takes her dog on the bus sometimes and the dog and her take up all the wheelchair space!

Yabbers · 22/01/2019 10:40

We are all judgemental at some point.

I love it when people excuse their flaws by saying "we all do it"

Some people really aren't judgemental of other people.

MaMaMaMySharona · 22/01/2019 10:49

They sound proper entitled whores feel this might be a bit strong!

But definitely agree they were being VVV unreasonable - people just don't seem to be able to keep their (ridiculous) opinions to themselves these days

SillySallySingsSongs · 22/01/2019 10:54

They sound proper entitled whores !!

Nothing judgemental in your mysoginistic view is there Hmm

BejamNostalgia · 22/01/2019 11:04

I would have said something. My current bugbear is women like this (and it is always women) who sit in the fold out seats in the wheelchair/pram area and refuse to move when a pram needs it even though there are plenty of other seats. That makes it hard to be out of the way and manoeuvre in and out, sometimes the bus drivers won’t even let you on. They sit there tutting and muttering about prams being too big now. Which takes an extra specially stupid person - my pram is big because there are clearly twins in it.

BejamNostalgia · 22/01/2019 11:09

And they were probably fortunate enough to bring their kids up when it was affordable to be a SAHM or a very part time one with plenty of hours for long walks.

In today’s world where two incomes are necessary and women need to do, for example, two separate drop offs and get to work on time, buses and transport are essential.

BejamNostalgia · 22/01/2019 11:10

We are all judgemental at some point.

Yeah, but most of us are judgemental about things which might cause serious harm or distress to others (dv for example) not travel arrangements.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 22/01/2019 11:25

Entitled whores ? Gosh Bit strong , Were you Jack the Ripper in a former life ??!

OP YANBU at all , I despise people judging me . Who made THEM Judge ?

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