To ask for your help on keeping anger in check?

[farmerham]

DS has ADHD and ODD and I feel like I'm failing him because I temper so quickly myself and I'm a terrible role model. He was having an "episode" tonight and I lost it and smacked him when he said "screw you" to me. This was after half an hour of trying to prevent him from running away from home, including him trying to get out of a first floor window, which is terrifying.

I just can't seem to hold my temper when I'm being goaded. I try to walk away but he follows me, blocks my way, becomes rude to me and I get rude back.

How do you do it, how do you stay cool when faced with a child who is behaving this way?! I'm just a shit parent, I'm not equipped for this.

It sounds like you've got a lot to deal with here - your own issues and your child's. This sounds complex and challenging and not something that can be fixed quickly with advice from a web forum.

It's great that you are looking for help - perhaps try and access counselling through your GP or other local services. And see also if you can get some help looking after your son, whether this is a bit of respite or advice from others in the same situation.

I'm sure it is within your power to improve the relationship with your son. Good luck.