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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not want ex to leave a 15 and 17 year old alone for a week

217 replies

5fivestar · 29/12/2018 11:07

When the 15 year old has been hospitalised with anxiety.
SS aren’t interested, he left them for 3 days. They didn’t care. Am
Banging my head against a brick wall

OP posts:
H1dingInSight · 29/12/2018 11:07

Can you have them for the week instead?

bastardkitty · 29/12/2018 11:09

That's completely unacceptable. Where do the children live and is there a court order in place re the 15 year old?

steff13 · 29/12/2018 11:09

I agree with PP, can you take them?

Rubusfruticosus · 29/12/2018 11:11

Can the 15 year old stay with you?

DanielRicciardosSmile · 29/12/2018 11:14

Why are they with the ex if he is (presumably) away that week and unable to have them?

Branleuse · 29/12/2018 11:14

why cant you have them

Yulebealrite · 29/12/2018 11:16

No I wouldn't be happy either regardless of the anxiety. What do they think? Are they happy?

Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 11:19

Court order is 3 years old states they live with me. Then 12 year old went off in a huff after an argument moved in with dad has barely spoken to me since - fuelled by dad - he literally only wanted her out of the 4 children because she was the one who didn’t call him on his behaviour - in someways hopefully she’s now seeing the light but

OP posts:
Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 11:20

The will be 17 year old went to look after the younger one because he thinks sendingbthe to school at 6am to walk to the train station to catch the train of a morning is acceptable

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Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 11:21

Sorry to drip feed.
Basically I was told court orders not enforceable at her age.

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 29/12/2018 11:21

Why can’t you go and stay with them for the week?

Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 11:22

In his house ? Can’t happen and she won’t come to mine even though it’s the holidays

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Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 11:23

Although to be fair, if he was out the country and I turned up, what could he do

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Bombardier25966 · 29/12/2018 11:23

What do the children think about it?

When was the 15 year old hospitalised, and for how long?

RedHelenB · 29/12/2018 11:23

Suggest you ask them to live with you if they can't cope alone. My Dds would have been ok at those ages so I suppose it's his call ad parent. My golden rule was I only left them if they were happy to be left. We're they?

NotANotMan · 29/12/2018 11:24

Would your kids let you stay there if you turned up?!
I'm not sure what you can do if the 15 year old won't come and stay with you.

Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 11:25

Bombardier25966 - all the information I get is second hand from the Camhs counselor

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steff13 · 29/12/2018 11:27

My Dds would have been ok at those ages so I suppose it's his call ad parent.

My boys will be too.

You said there are 4 kids, is there an older one who could stay with them?

Bombardier25966 · 29/12/2018 11:30

Have you spoken to the counsellor about this? If they feel there is a risk to your daughter's health they can escalate it.

Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 11:30

Oh god know, the older one was one of the reasons little one moved out and I let her

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Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 11:30

Bombardier25966 - I was wondering about that. I will when we speak after Christmas

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Bombardier25966 · 29/12/2018 11:31

And it would be a good idea to let the counsellor know, so your daughter has someone to call on whilst they are alone.

LagunaBubbles · 29/12/2018 11:38

god know, the older one was one of the reasons little one moved out and I let her

What do you mean, what happened?

SaucyJack · 29/12/2018 11:39

“Although to be fair, if he was out the country and I turned up, what could he do”

Probably not much, but from reading your updates I couldn’t honestly say you turning up out of the blue would be beneficial to her stability.

There’s clearly a massive backstory to this. Poor kid.

Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 11:41

Agreed

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