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Original poster

Not want ex to leave a 15 and 17 year old alone for a week

217 replies

5fivestar · 29/12/2018 11:07

When the 15 year old has been hospitalised with anxiety.
SS aren’t interested, he left them for 3 days. They didn’t care. Am
Banging my head against a brick wall

OP posts:
loubluee · 29/12/2018 16:02

Wow! Sorry for the wall of text!!

Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 16:03

Oh and nobody has said it’s fine for him to go on holiday just that they won’t tell him not to, they’ve not given him a green light

OP posts:
Notacluethisxmas · 29/12/2018 16:07

OP you posted this

SS aren’t interested, he left them for 3 days. They didn’t care. Am Banging my head against a brick wall

So you are happy with them saying it not a problem? If you claim they werw wondeful. You mean wonderful for you. Again why are they wrong and you are right and it is a problem, this time. But when their decision goes your way, they are wonderful.

You won't accept any blame at all. Even twisting your own posts.

Why wouldn't he have PR for his own children but then SS placed the child with him? Doesn't make sense.

Nicknacky · 29/12/2018 16:09

He doesn’t need a “green light”. He’s left her in the care of a suitable person, her sister.

Notacluethisxmas · 29/12/2018 16:12

Unfortunately the older one got a bit heavy handed, belted the little one, ex reported her age 16 to the police. SS said choose. What a choice.

The older one got heavy handed. That's not assault? Also when a poster asked if the older one was bullying the younger, you agreed.

So the younger child gets bullied and then assaulted. And she is the one that leaves.

End of the day the decision isn't your to make. You rejected your dd. You can't dictate what he decides to do.

Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 16:12

And what if her sister doesn’t want that responsibility?

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 29/12/2018 16:15

It’s been sorted out between them all.

You don’t get to control what happens when she doesn’t live with you and you have no contact with her.

Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 16:16

Yeah I’ll just sit back and do nothing. Super helpful

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 29/12/2018 16:20

You made your choice, you have given your ex the responsibility to parent your joint child and that’s what he is doing.

SuperSuperSuper · 29/12/2018 16:29

I'm not going to comment on all the background stuff. I'll answer your question....in general, I think it's fine to leave a sensible 17 year old in charge, presuming she's ok with it. I'm sure she'll dial 999 and you if necessary. Try not to worry.

Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 16:37

Bottom line is I could go away for a week and leave the 8 year old there’s no law that stops me but if anything happened there’d be trouble so I guess I have to sit back and await the enevitable.

OP posts:
swingofthings · 29/12/2018 17:25

It really comes across as if you are jealous of his being able to go away when you can't. The whole thread is about you anger towards your ex rather than care for your DD.

She was only 5 when she said she wanted to go and live with her dad, that says it all really.

He's decided that they will be OK without him for a week. Instead of trying to prevent him from going, how about telling your 17yo you'll be there for thrm if they need support?

Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 17:27

She was not 5 where on earth have you got that from 🤯

OP posts:
agnurse · 29/12/2018 17:34

When I was about that age my parents left me and my five younger siblings alone for a week - ensuring that we had groceries, extra cash, and contact numbers in case of emergency.

Not sure whether or not the hospitalization should be a factor. Reason being that if things got that bad, the 17-year-old would surely be able to call 999.

steff13 · 29/12/2018 18:48

The inevitable will likely be that your daughters will be fine for a week alone.

Ellisandra · 29/12/2018 19:04

He’s only going for a week.
The 17yo will be with the 15yo.
The 17yo can call you if she is worried.
The 15yo was last hospitalised 4 years ago.
Why do you think in this particular week it’s going to happen again?

I get that you think he’s dumping them for a new girlfriend.

But they’re 15 and 17 and the younger was hospitalised 4 years ago. So... I really don’t see the issue here. It’s fine to leave them.

Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 19:06

Ellisandra - most recent hospitalisation was this month.
Why do I think it’ll happen the week they are alone and he’s out of the country ?

Because they are alone and he’s out of the country.

OP posts:
Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 19:09

I shouldn’t have drip fed and I apologise for that. Last night they were left, older one was there too, she ended up with a broken toe trying to stop little one climbing out of the window to escape into the night. He was in the country, phone off, 30 odd missed calls. It’s not without good reason I’m concerned

OP posts:
Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 19:09
  • typo Time they were left not night.
OP posts:
GloryforGloves · 29/12/2018 19:10

Ignoring everything else that makes very little sense with your posts, a 15 year old left with a 17 year old is perfectly fine, legal and safe. SS or the police will not take a dim view of that.

Leaving an 8 year old is not comparable due to maturity and responsibility levels, but you know that. You are literally trying to clutch at any straws.

Your ex is entitled to go away. You can’t stop it. And considering you’ve not had any contact with your DD for 4 months I really don’t know exactly what sort of outcome you trying to meddle is going to achieve - because I can absolutely promise you it will not bring any happiness to any party (least of all you).

steff13 · 29/12/2018 19:13

Is the older one the bully? I'd try to escape too, if I was left alone with my bully. How long ago was that?

GloryforGloves · 29/12/2018 19:13

Last night they were left, older one was there too, she ended up with a broken toe trying to stop little one climbing out of the window to escape into the night.

You didn’t mention a visit to hospital/walk in clinic last night previously. I feel that would that have been pertinent. I don’t understand why she’d need to escape out a window though if just 17 year old there - or is 17 year old also bullying 15 year old and you are just minimising that to?

Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 19:13

He is entitled to go away and I guess he’ll bear the consequences if anything goes wrong along with my daughters. Great.

OP posts:
Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 19:15

GloryforGloves
Well and here’s the irony - HE left the three of them together - I wouldn’t have.

OP posts:
Original poster
5fivestar · 29/12/2018 19:15

steff13 - May last year

OP posts:
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