Turning up to a wedding late?

[hibbledibble]

Guest invited to a whole wedding (ceremony, meal etc).

Rsvps yes.

Arrives 4 hours after start time, as didn't want to miss work. Asked a friend attending to save a meal for her. Empty place at wedding meal, with food on a plate going cold.

Aibu to think this is rude, unless there is prior communication regarding this with the bride/groom?

It’s very poor. That’s a £100 meal wasted, which could have gone to someone else.

YANBU - very poor behaviour

Yes, it’s rude. In that case, you either don’t come at all or rsvp and say you can only drop by after the meal.

We had a family member who decided day of our wedding not to come and just didn’t show up. Everyone in the family hates him pretty much (not hard to see why!) and he decided he didn’t want to see any of them, so sent his dw alone.

It’s very rude. It’s the kind of situation I genuinely wouldn’t mind one bit, as long as I was asked first. Without asking it’s really inconsiderate! Being me, I wouldn’t say anything, but it would affect how I saw that person, and therefore my relationship with them.

It depends on whether the guest knew in advance that they'd have to work or whether it was last minute. If they knew in advance then yes it's rude, but if it was last minute then I'd be happy that the guest still put the effort in and came even though they had to work and were probably in a difficult position.

In the first situation I don't think it would have bothered me but I can see why it would upset others.

That's very bad form. If you can't make it let them know