To think she was rude! Trick or Treating, am I a CF?

[forwhatyouare]

Long story short, we went trick or treating as an extended family tonight. About 5 kids in total, including my 1 year old.

I came to the door for every knock (we only knock on decorated houses or those with a few pumpkins), and collected sweets in a bag for my DS.

On one of the knocks, I collected a sweet in the bag and the woman who answered pulled me to the side and said "He looks cute, he's getting these for you though I suppose "

I said "haha", thinking I had mistaken her tone and she was joking. She was not. She said "I saw you eating them from across the road".

If truth be told, I was eating a sweet a little earlier.

AIBU to say this is bloody rude?!

Just give sweets to wherever is dressed up or don't at all. It would be different if I was dressed for Halloween and there alone, but I was standing with DS in my arms, with 4 little children surrounding me... Hardly the cheeky fucker of the century.

Begging is cheeky fucked though, isn't it?

Fuckery!

I mean you were eating a sweet. What does it matter what one person said?

Unknown Meh, I understand some view it as begging. But we only ever knock on houses that are decorated and clearly taking part in the fun. So I don't see any harm...

Be honest though your 1 year old isn’t going to eat a load of sweets and you will eat them

I don’t think she was being cheeky-do you know what the word means? If anything she clearly thought that you were being cheeky (although I think that is unreasonable, eating a single sweet doesn’t mean that they are all for you. I always ‘share’ my kids goodie bags etc so that they don’t have too much sugar but i don’t end up binning surplus sweets either.

A lovely neighbour gave us an extra plate of Halloween cupcakes "for mum to relax and enjoy later on". Maybe your neighbour meant it to sound lighthearted and jokey but it came out wrong.

i suppose if my 18months had gone trick and treating with my older 2 i wouldnt have collected sweets for him as he doesnt care and there will be enough to share

Maybe she was meaning to joke and just had a weird tone and it fell flat?

I'm not sure I'd even notice if a parent was eating a sweet, much less feel like commenting on it. Sweetie tax is a real thing!

I think she may have a point as your LO is too young to eat the sweets you’re collecting “for him”.

That said, it wouldn’t bother me.

Never collected sweets for my under 2s tbh.

I'm American and didn't know the UK is doing Halloween and trick or treating now, or at least they weren't when I was living there.

But nonetheless, we generally don't give out candies to babies, dressed up or not, as obviously it's just the parents who eat the sweets. So while I'm not sure she should've called you out on it, I'm not sure you should've been collecting for the one year old honestly. I can see this from both sides.

Meh I don't think you were wildly cheeky but to be honest although parents were bringing their very young kids round with a larger family group they weren't taking sweets for them in our street. We would have lots of kids and groups calling and kids in arms, under 1 or so don't usually get sweets - the parents usually say they'll take a few chocs from their siblings.

I give to children who come trick or treating, but would be surprised to see a parent holding a 1 year old and collecting sweets for them. I wouldn't expect a baby to be eating sweets and would assume that the mum was either collecting extra sweets to share between the other children or was collecting for herself.

I would find it odd for someone to collect sweets for a one year old and assume the parent would eat them.

Did she expect the 1 year old to stay at home?

Well yeah you were a bit cheeky. Who takes a 1 year old trick or treating?

She does have a point though. How many sweets is your 1 yo going to eat?

They did probably mean it as a joke though.

We went to a lot of trouble dressing him up.

His outfit wasn't 'bog standard' either.

Yes, I did eat most of the sweets... But the children wanted us to join in.

He's veggie and dairy free so couldn't eat chocolate or the haribo

The UK has done trick or treating for decades.

I also hate this "begging" shit. It's not begging - children here knock on the doors of decorated houses or those with pumpkins, who are fully expecting callers.

I would never say anything but I would be a bit at a parent taking sweets for a baby for themselves. In the interests of not being a CF let the children old enough to take their own sweets, don’t collect a bag of candy ‘for the baby’ and just eat the some of the older kids’ once they’ve gone to bed like a normal parent

Yes, I did eat most of the sweets

So she was right tbf.

So you were collecting sweets for yourself cos the one year old didn’t eat them!

It wasn’t the woman who was the cheeky fucker!

It’s not weird to take him and I’m sure he looked super cute, but I probably wouldn’t think to have given him any sweets if I was handing them out as he’s so tiny.

I think you were being cheeky collecting sweets for a 1 yr old. He's not actually going to eat them is he? So why bother taking them? Leave them for other kids who will actually enjoy them.