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To think she was rude! Trick or Treating, am I a CF?

242 replies

forwhatyouare · 31/10/2018 20:23

Long story short, we went trick or treating as an extended family tonight. About 5 kids in total, including my 1 year old.

I came to the door for every knock (we only knock on decorated houses or those with a few pumpkins), and collected sweets in a bag for my DS.

On one of the knocks, I collected a sweet in the bag and the woman who answered pulled me to the side and said "He looks cute, he's getting these for you though I suppose "

I said "haha", thinking I had mistaken her tone and she was joking. She was not. She said "I saw you eating them from across the road".

If truth be told, I was eating a sweet a little earlier.

AIBU to say this is bloody rude?!

Just give sweets to wherever is dressed up or don't at all. It would be different if I was dressed for Halloween and there alone, but I was standing with DS in my arms, with 4 little children surrounding me... Hardly the cheeky fucker of the century.

OP posts:

user1494055864 · 01/11/2018 22:05

This happened to me last night, 2 boys, around 5 or 6 years old, mum standing a couple of steps back, carrying a baby, less than 1 year old. The 2 boys took sweets out of my bucket, then she said, get something for your brother, and they both looked at her in surprise!! I was a bit open mouthed, but didn't say anything, and he dutifully picked out a totally unsuitable sweet for a baby.
I was at a panto last year, and they were throwing out those moam chew things to the audience, and people were going crazy trying to grab them. One actually landed right on my lap, and because I didn't immediately pick it up, as it was obviously mine, the mum sitting next to me actually took it off my skirt to give to her child, even though they'd already caught one! I was too shocked to say anything!


Thomlin · 01/11/2018 22:17

Scottish and never heard of "mischief night". I'm 26 so was obviously guising 20ish years ago and we had a mix of monkey nuts/ money and some sweeties too. Lots of us in black bags and a witches hat 😂 my song was "haluween is cumin, the goose is getin fat, please pu-a penny in the old mans hat, if you haveny got a penny a henny will do if you haveny got a henny, god bless you achooooooo"

Now I get angry when the wee shits just say "trick or treat" you have to sing the song or your not doing it right 😂


knittingdad · 01/11/2018 22:28

The way some people write about trick or treating it's like they want anyone coming to their house to fill in a form to qualify for the sweets.

I buy sweets for the purpose of giving them out. Any other time of the year people would worry about a man giving kids sweets so it's nice to be able to indulge in some simplistic generosity.

I didn't complicate it by worrying about whether the trick or treaters were deserving of it. It's like people are applying tabloid rhetoric on benefit scroungers to trick or treating. It's a bit much.


Vampiratequeen · 01/11/2018 22:31

NRTFT but I took both of mine trick or treating and my DS is 1, he will be getting his sweets. Granted not to the extent that my DD (who's 4) will be, but he will definitely be having his sweets, they will just last him a lot longer and if anyone other than him has them it will be my DD. I don't see the harm in him having a few sweets. And before I get flamed he has his 5 a day of fruit and veg everyday as does my DD.


Willow2017 · 01/11/2018 22:42

Mischief night was more common in lowland Scotland and the north pf England (but not exclusively).

Not every person in either country will have done it.


Willow2017 · 01/11/2018 22:48

i am very disappointed how Americanized the U.K. has become TBH and I'm surprised how many of you believe it to be U.K. invented thing.

You can be as disappointed as much as you like. Guising originated in Scotland and ireland and went to USA and has changed over time to t or t'ing.

We scots however have been guising for 200s of years and still proud to have our tradition.

Please dont try telling me what my cultural heritage is.

P.s. and its dooking for apples😀


Willow2017 · 01/11/2018 22:49

100s of years (stupid phone)


Orlandointhewilderness · 01/11/2018 23:04

when i was a child we loved in the orkney islands. mischief night definitely happened there.


prettybird · 01/11/2018 23:04

You must have been in the USA for a bit too long (or didn't get a very good education Hmm) charolais if you think that England = the UK Confused

Scottish poster after Scottish poster has pointed out that this is an old tradition in Scotland. I was doing it the mid 60s - and it wasn't new then and it's not new now - in Scotland at least (which, for the moment at least, is still part of the UK).

Irish posters (including ones in NI) have said the same thing.


rededucator · 01/11/2018 23:14

If he couldn't eat the chocolate or haribo why were you taking sweets for the baby. I'm sorry to say your have been TAKING CANDY FROM A BABY


Platypusfattypus · 01/11/2018 23:15

We were trick or treating in the 80s. No idea why it’s thought of as a relatively new thing.


mathanxiety · 01/11/2018 23:45

High school proms are another word for debutante balls or cotillions. Both of these have been going on for centuries, and gave rise to the concept of a prom or in the case of Ireland, the 'debs', short for debutante ball. Debs dances have been a thing in Ireland for decades, maybe approaching a hundred years now.

Entire towns come out to see the kids off to the debs. There are articles on debs style in the fashion section of major national newspapers.

Sorry, but once again something that is actually Irish is mistaken for American. The term 'prom' is certainly used in America, but the concept has been a big thing in Ireland for ages.

Hallowe'en is not a 'UK' -invented thing. It's a Scottish and Irish thing. The UK encompasses England and Wales as well as NI and Scotland.
Please don’t minimise the experience of the Celtic nations that are constituent parts of the Uk.

Wondering if anyone else's Irish (or British) family had a barmbrack at Hallowe'en, complete with all the hidden symbols baked in?


plaidlife · 02/11/2018 00:29

We had dances at the end of the year at school, a mixture of country dancing which we were taught during the year and then as a nod to modernity as it was the 90's a bit of disco. This was a west coast of Scotland comp and these dances had been happening for decades at the least. The names may have changed but the idea isn't new.
I would not be surprised to find that end of school year, leaver dances were also held in England and Wales as I know they happened in Scotland and have now heard they happened in Ireland.


SherbrookeFosterer · 02/11/2018 01:21

I find "Trick or Treat" loathsome.

It became popular after it was featured in a 1970s BBC news magazine programme called "Nationwide".


mathanxiety · 02/11/2018 01:22

Irish debs tended to be held in a hotel, with sit down dinner followed by dancing. When I had mine it was sort of traditional to wear white. We had a reception in the school for debs and families first, followed by the hotel event, and we decamped to a night club after that, followed by a bleary breakfast. This was pretty standard for schools way back in the early 80s and for many decades before then.
Comparison of prom and debs.


angelfacecuti75 · 02/11/2018 01:54

Oh god. Don't worry about it. Worse things happen at sea


Catsinthecupboard · 02/11/2018 02:10

The self-righteous indignation about Halloween seems to show a tear in the thin veneer that is in place by everyone, basically, towards Americans. A little sad as Americans seem to think highly of the Irish, Scots, British. Many realize Halloween's origins and consider it a tribute to their ancestry.

I took my dd bc her older brother and cousins went and could not leave her home. Didn't take her to the doors for candy unless someone invited or she seemed interested. Mostly she was interested in the children, not the candy.

I give freely to even teens bc childhood ends too quickly and a bit of innocent fun may help them remember easier days. If they dress up, I hand out. Mostly more than one per child.

I would have laughed at Mrs. Rules. It supposed to be FUN, which means overlooking another's foibles to encourage them from noticing ours.

If you don't like this holiday, turn out your lights. But beware! There may be a trick awaiting! Smile


Catsinthecupboard · 02/11/2018 02:23

@fieldgold Tricking can be smashing pumpkins, soaping windows, hopefully harmless fun. I suppose if someone isn't disposed to enjoying Halloween, then finding that they were victims of Tricking, it would not be fun. So not harmless?

I have heard tales that outdoor toilets have been tipped over since forever.

Even once when somebody was in it. But I think that was childish and quite awful of my grandmother!


plaidlife · 02/11/2018 02:28

We have had a couple of Halloweens in the US now and while they are different from the ones we had in Scotland as DC they are also similar. They don't involve lots of grabby DC, they are very much community affairs, everyone from small DC through 20 somethings to older people get involved in some way, everyone is polite and friendly. I am very clear that Halloween isn't a new import to the UK but I also really like the US of Halloween as well. This is in a large US city with a tough reputation so I imagine it is a pleasant celebration pretty much everywhere in the US.


TooMuchTidying · 02/11/2018 02:49

It's cute when kids dress up and hold out their bag for sweets.

It's ridiculous when a grown woman stands next to them holding out her own bag, which is ostensibly what you were doing.

She said something, it was rude, but it's probably also what everyone else was thinking when they saw you on their doorstep with your own baggie.


AutumnEvenings · 02/11/2018 03:01


My Mother always made an apple pie for us at Halloween in the 1960s, it had a sixpence coin or a cheap ring wrapped in baking paper hidden inside.

There was great suspense when the pie was served. It dated back to my GM farming roots in the Fermanagh area of NI. There were always plenty of apples around in the autumn, but Barmbrack would have done just as well.

We were only allowed to trick or treat on immediate neighbours with children in the family, who were well known to our parents.

I recall hearing that there were "Dancing Masters" who used to travel round villages in Ireland and would hold classes for the local girls. Possibly this was linked to the debs balls. The Dancing Master was referred to in one of the songs played by Horslips in the 1970s, Mad Pat.


AutumnEvenings · 02/11/2018 03:26


A person I met recently at work told me he was looking forward to retiring in the near future. He suggested that once people left work and were just classed as "old", it meant they could say exactly what they thought about things that they didn't agree with in life, without repercussions. He has a point.


KC225 · 02/11/2018 04:21

Face it OP you were rumbled. She caught you scoffing the sweets. And you admit you ate MOST of the sweets. She wasn't being rude, she was.letting you know she had the measure of you.


Tessabelle1 · 02/11/2018 07:54

Are people really that tight that they begrudge a parent, who has bought costumes, dressed the kids and trudged around the streets with them, a few sweets?? I couldn't care less who ate them, feed them to the dog for all I care, it's all about getting out and talking to your neighbours, admiring the kids costumes etc, people are so encapsulated in their own lives now its great to see people on the streets!


Polkasq · 02/11/2018 08:54

In the 70s (England, rural) I remember occasional Halloween parties with apple bobbing, carved pumpkins or turnips, and dressing up as a witch or ghost. No trick or treat whatsoever, and no zombies, fake blood or creepy clowns.

In the 80s it was the same, parties but no trick or treat. Mischief Night did happen though. Some of the "mischief" was genuinely funny but some was just mild annoyances.

When trick or treat became more popular it was annoying to a lot of people. Many trick-or-treaters just knocked on all the doors, whether there were any decorations/pumpkins or not. You might not have sweets to give out because you had either never heard of T-or-T or weren't interested. It did seem like "begging" as the adult generations hadn't had the tradition themselves and now there were people knocking at the door threatening an unspecified "trick" if you didn't give them a treat they approved of. The local paper gave out posters saying "No trick or treat thank you" for people to put in the window.

The etiquette of only going to houses with a pumpkin 🎃 is much better. Occasionally the door is answered by a scary clown/zombie who jumps out and it's too frightening for some.

I preferred the other autumn traditions such as harvest festival which always had a beautifully done display of local produce which was then given to those in need. Bonfire night was very popular too.

I realise everyone has their own experiences and traditions and it's interesting to read about them all.

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