Do you ever wish this was it?

[todreamIdo]

AIBU?

Do you ever wish this was it?

Like right this moment.

Sometimes I listen to my favourite songs and wish I could bow out. I'm appy listening to my favourite songs and saying this is it for me. I don't mean to be depressing but perhaps there is something better and I can just say goodbye now.

Kinda know what you mean but I’m always captivated by the what’s next

No.

I rather hope there's more to life than someone else's song.

That's rather too passive.

Yes maybe too passive, I acceph.. But sometimes I want to dream (but usually lie awake all night)

No! I’ve got so much to stick around for!
I’m middle aged, over weight and sometimes I look in the mirror and think ‘fuck’ but you know what? I’m gonna fight till the end cos this is mine and I’m gonna fucking enjoy every little bit of it !!

I do sometimes find myself enjoying a moment and my brain wanders into thinking ahh if I died now, I'd be cool with that.

But not as in I want to be dead, just that I wouldn't mind if that was it... in that moment

If I thought further... I'd rather like to look after DS till he's ready for me to go

yes, all the time. I hate this world. Sometimes the only reason for sticking around is to piss off my (former) abusers.

Weird, I have been listening to Leonard Cohen tonight and I have thought exactly what OP said. I love life but sometimes I wish I could choose the music I go out to.

Hmm, no. Not at all.

@intnothingbutaheartache -- your attitude is amazing and I love it! Sometimes I really struggle, but you're spot on. This is our time, and for good or for bad we have to live it. Sometimes I find it hard, but your attidue is what I seek (even if it's hard)

I got a death sentence a few years ago. Believe me, you don't really want any moment to be "it".

@ohello I sympathise and understand. Sometimes I feel life is too cruel, and really, it hurts so much,

But at the same time I really want to overcome this pain.

I understand @stellabird. We become too self-centered (I am the first to admit) it. Your post hit me, I truly hope you're okay.