To think Home Alone 4 is Basic Instinct for kids?

[MorrisZapp]

If you haven't seen Home Alone 4, I beg you never to watch it. It's next level shite. Truly unwatchably bad.

But, DS insisted and now I'm pissed off. The mandatory happy ending comes when Kevin's father dumps the beautiful but child hating woman he walked out on his family for, and goes back to his adoring wife.

Cold bitch is left snarling while the happy family all hug each other, snow falls, credits roll.

I really wasn't planning to deliver a sermon on sexual politics tonight but I had to bloody say something. DS was happy because 'she got dumped'.

I gave an age appropriate explanation of why it was Kevin's father we should have been booing for leaving his family in the first place but I shouldn't have to, it's a lightweight piece of crap that doesn't warrant attention or analysis.

It was a kids version of 'kill the bitch'. Could have been worse though, if they'd employed convincing actors DS might have really taken their shite, sexist message to heart.

Meh. I like all of them. 3&4 are nothing compared to the first 2 but they're nice films in their own right.

But 4 IS the worst.

I didn't even know that 3 existed, let one 4.

I also didn't realise that Black Panther was Lion King.

I don't like any of the films. I can't get past "You forgot your child? WTAF?"

There are 4 Home Alone movies?!

Yup! Goes like this:

Home Alone: highest grossing Christmas film of all time. Adored by generations of kids and parents, has huge following in Poland of all places.

Home Alone 2: hastily made sequel using same cast as HA. Pretty good, though contains some bafflingly age inappropriate material. Set in New York.

Home Alone 3: Macaulay Culkin now too old to play Kevin. Totally new cast, different house. Spy theme. Truly fucking atrocious, unwatchably bad.

Home Alone 4: Different cast again, but bizarrely they're called Kevin McAllister etc although characters haven't aged from first movie. Kevin's parents have separated. Actually worse than 3, has the worst happy ending of any film in known existence. To be used as punishment only.

Now I want to watch them! Spy theme in number 3 - how can that be atrocious?

Trust me, it's beyond bad. You were warned!

Dreadful isn't it.
I'm not even sure the writer's watched the first movie as half of Kevin's family is missing.
In the first film he has 3 siblings, Buzz, Jeff and Megan.
They are missing from 4 from what I temember.

There's Buzz and Megan, both atrocious. Neither even remotely like the first film. Production values would be an insult to an ITV sitcom.

Sorry to tell you theres 5 home alone.

The holiday heist

Its terrible.

Wonder what happened to Jeff?

Maybe he was murdered by old man marley?

HOME ALONE 5???

I pray my too young to know any better DS never hears of this.

In other news, the actor who plays Marv (tall burglar) in the first two has written a book about his life on the swinging scene.

So that's MILs christmas wrapped up.

Actually in 4 they confuse Marv for Harry don't they?
They have him in Harry's hat and coat but call him Marv.

HA 4 is DDs fav I want to know where his siblings have disappeared to.

Apparently Home aAone 3 and 5 didnt focus on the McAllister family (have just googled it) but seriously sometimes film makers should know when to stop !

What's age inappropriate in 2? Can't remember anything off.

My daughter prefers HA 3 and 4 to 1 and 2; she’s 4, so that should explain it. Very simple, not much to understand and very cheesy.

To be fair we don’t know why Kevin’s Dad left his Mum. Maybe she was unfaithful with the neighbour? Emotional Affair with the postroom guy at work?

2 contains a horrible film scene (ya filthy animals!) in which a gangster shoots his girlfriend repeatedly as she begs for her life, her crime was smooching other men.

There's a gag about the size of uncle Frank's knob

In a scene in a bad area of town, Kevin is propositioned by two prostitutes. The line 'do you want me to read you a bedtime story' is possibly the most ill judged in any kids film I've ever seen.

It's made clear that Kevin's dad left for the OW. He plans to marry her and is apologetic about it. Other lines lead to this interpretation too, there's no hint of the mum being anything other than a wonderful caring woman who has been left.

MorrisZapp you missed out the Donald Trump cameo - truly horrifying.

The dad says at the end 'I made a mistake, it was just an infatuation, and now I want to come back'.

Aaargh yes! Apparently he owned the Plaza Hotel at the time and it was a condition of them using it.

He has a cameo in Little Rascals too, a film that makes HA4 look like the work of radical feminists.

I love 1 and 2 they are classic films.

As a kid I preferred 4 over 3. I thought 3 was shit. 4 I liked the big house! Probably wouldn't watch it now I'm an adult though. I could definitely watch 1 and 2 over and over.

I'm going to have to watch 4 now just to compare! I loved 3 growing up.