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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh "thought you were sick"

21 replies

Cheeeeislifenow · 30/09/2018 00:04

Been feeling rubbish all day with a crappy head cold. Still did everything I needed to,brought ds to rugby, made dinner etc. Dh went out tonight, hasn't acknowledged I am unwell at all, left me to it. That's fine I don't mind that, but he just came home and because I was still up (watching a movie) he said in a judgemental tone , "thought you were sick".
No hello, no how do you feel.
Fairly trivial in the grand scheme of life but aibu to be annoyed? He seems to think so.

OP posts:
MagnaDoodle · 30/09/2018 00:07

Depends. Are you a bit of a hypochondriac? My ex was. I didn’t ask him how he was because his constant fucking moaning and sighing irritated the shit out of me 🙄

If this is unusual for you however then no. He sounds a bit cold.

Thesmallthings · 30/09/2018 00:09

I'd have to respond with.

Oh so you can see that I'm sick now, that's good you can do all the running around, cooking, tomorrow then make up some errands if there wasn't any.

Or a simple your a dick and flounce up stairs.

Original poster
Cheeeeislifenow · 30/09/2018 00:12

No definitely not, don't have time to be sick at all. And it's quite obvious I am (I look like shit)sore throat, eyes streaming, coughing and general snotting.
Cold or dead inside one or the other.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheeeeislifenow · 30/09/2018 00:13

@Thesmallthings
I took the second option and instead f having a rational conversation am now mumsnetting my frustrations!! Hmm

OP posts:
FastWindow · 30/09/2018 00:19

Ergh husbands are rubbish. If they are sick they abdicate what small responsibility they had in the first place and take to their beds. They cannot understand that a mum can't do that. We will work till we literally can't.

Italiangreyhound · 30/09/2018 00:32

So he thought you were ill, allowed you to get on and do all the stuff you had to do and went out and now you are still up. How dare you!

My guess is he knew you were ill, felt guilty for not even acknowledging it and now feels slighted that you were not ill enough!

Next time just take to your bed and let him get on with it!

VladmirsPoutine · 30/09/2018 00:34

Yanbu to be annoyed at his apparent disregard towards you. Notwithstanding that you're feeling unwell at the moment, him not even saying a simple 'hello' would have annoyed me.

Is this in the grand scheme of things an isolated instance of this sort of behaviour or does he generally seem to not give two hoots about you?

ReanimatedSGB · 30/09/2018 00:37

Were you supposed to be going out with him? If it was something you were supposed to be doing together (that you wouldn't have enjoyed much) and you were too ill to go, that might explain his attitude. If it was just him going out and that had always been the plan, then WTF has he got to be snarky about?

Original poster
Cheeeeislifenow · 30/09/2018 00:41

@ReanimatedSGB

No I was always staying in with the kiddos whilst he went out.

@VladmirsPoutine
Not usually such an arse but he has his moments

OP posts:
BretonStripe · 30/09/2018 00:43

You have just described my dh!! He's awful when I'm ill. Not an ounce of sympathy, cup of tea, how are you etc It drives me mental! And he's made snarky comments like your dh's tonight often. I'm on antibiotics and steroids for a chest infection atm but still have to do the lion's share of childcare and housework. Business as usual...

Get well soon OP, just ignore the fucker snd come on here for Brew and sympathy Flowers

HolgerLowCarbingLoser · 30/09/2018 00:44

I’d seriously be asking him who the fuck he thinks he is.

Cannot stand that.

BretonStripe · 30/09/2018 00:44

P.s I'm up a lot at night atm as can't lie down due to coughing/nose streaming. It's way worse at night, so frustrating, you have my full sympathy!

Salazaar · 30/09/2018 00:45

It sounds like he's being a dick. I'm filing
magna in the same dickish category as your DH. You're ill. End of discussion.
Put on his big boy pants and help out.
Magna, how about finding out the back story before pointing the finger??

CadyHeron · 30/09/2018 01:07

After a day of being poorly and hearing I thought you were sick?
Me - "yeah, I am, which is why after taking ds to rugby and making dinner despite feeling crappy I'm now laying on the sofa. So shut your face/bog off.Grin

TinklyLittleLaugh · 30/09/2018 01:17

Hmm, thing is, if a man is sick he normally just says "Sod it" and goes to bed, no soldiering on whatsoever.

Therefore if you just carry on like normal, he probably doesn't think you are really that sick, because, in his head, if you were you'd go to bed.

Original poster
Cheeeeislifenow · 30/09/2018 10:25

@TinklyLittleLaugh
I wish the option of going to bed was there but it's not really! Anyway he is still in a bad mood.... What ever is wrong with him..and he is off out for the day.

@BretonStripe
How your feeling about better today Flowers

OP posts:
SodTheBloodyLotOfThem · 30/09/2018 10:27

What is he actually for? He sounds bloody useless.

BretonStripe · 30/09/2018 12:23

@Cheeeeislifenow know what you mean about not having the option to just go to bed when you have kids. My dh has left for work at 8am yesterday and today too (overtime - he already worked 40hrs mon-fri last week). Didn't get in til 6.30pm yesterday then was out at 7.30pm for beers and curry with his mates.

Feeling a bit better today thanks - and you?

ReanimatedSGB · 30/09/2018 12:44

Does he usually do whatever he wants and leave al the domestic work and childcare to you? If he does, then what the fuck is he complaining about? Oh, are you supposed to be sexually available whenever he gets the urge, and always cheerful and glamorous as well?

Original poster
Cheeeeislifenow · 30/09/2018 13:04

Oh, are you supposed to be sexually available whenever he gets the urge, and always cheerful and glamorous as well?

Eh?????

OP posts:
BretonStripe · 30/09/2018 17:49

ReanimatedSGB was that aimed at me too? If so, then no! It's usually pretty 50/50 with our social lives, and I'm normally happy with the childcare and housework split (I don't work and both kids now at school so I have more time for housework).

Just an off weekend with bad timing...he doesn't usually work all day Sat and Sun and I'm not usually ill!

He's just brought me tea and toast in bed ! Shock no sympathy but it's an improvement Smile

Cheeeeislifenow is yours in a better mood now?

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