To be so jealous that she has a girlfriend?

[natalie456786]

I'm mega confused here.
I'm straight and she is clearly gay.
She's my mutual friends friend and we've all been out together /holidays etc.
We get on really well but I'm straight and she knows this.
I've found myself recently checking my phone to see if she's text and getting excited when I see her (I know that's ridiculous )
Now I've found out she's just started seeing a woman and I'm so jealous,when I seen a pic of them two I was a bit jealous /annoyed.
What's going on here?
I deffo like men as I've only dated men.
I can't get her out of my mind and it's driving me crazy because I can't even tell her.

Bad crush or are you imagining a possible future?

Sounds like you have a crush on her, "straight" is just another silly label, you've found a woman who actually you like the same way you like men, it's really not a big deal.

I have no idea.
Honest hand on heart.
I've found myself when I know I will see her dressing nice and hoping she thinks I look nice.
I have other gay friends and never ever fancied them.

Maybe because she is in that 'First flush' of a relationship when it's all fun, passionate and exciting - and I guess she is spending lots of time with her new partner.

It's most likely you are jealous of her being in that lovely part of new relationship, not that you fancy her.

Did you ever get a hint that she fancied you before? Perhaps you're jealous of her attention being on someone else?

I deffo like men as I've only dated men.

You can be gay or bi and never date someone f the same sex.

Would you like to kiss her?

We got on well and there was times I questioned if we were flirting but I've never flirted with a woman before so I was confused if she was just being nice.
I have thought about kissing her too.

I think that this is something most women experience as they get older. Totally normal. Unfortunately she's got a partner now so you need to forget it and move on. Don't make it a 'thing' to fancy a woman-it isn't anything unusual x

I have other gay friends and never ever fancied them

Gay people don't fancy other people just because they are also gay, any more than straight people fancy all people of the opposite sex. So the fact that you don;t fancy any of your other gay friends is neither here nor there.

You need to behave as I hope you would in any relationship, whether you have a crush or not, people in a reationship with someone else are out of bounds. So leave her and her partner in peace. if she becomes single again at any point, and you are also single then you may get a chance to explore your feelings. If you can't cope with being around her, then you need to distance yourself or someone will get hurt.

Are you jealous she has another friend? Twos company, threes a crowd. Maybe you feel you will Loose her friendship, now she has a gf?

I know someone who got married, had children, got divorced and was single for many years. She then surprised herself by falling deeply in love with a woman. They are very very happy together roughly ten years on. People aren't necessarily the same throughout their lives.

This is the second thread this afternoon from a female name + numbers user name with no posting history wherein a previous straight female has suddenly started to have lesbian inklings (previous one was deleted).

That's a coincidence, surely?

It's easy to be jealous when friends have a new boyfriend/girlfriend because it usually means less time with you. But here, it's obvious that you face your friend.

In my experience, it's entirely possible (and probably common) to have a non sexual crush on the same sex, when you are "straight". Sexuality is a spectrum and you shouldn't be ashamed or scared to explore it.

You need to be realistic about it, even if you have a crush on her or are head over heels in love with her, she is UNAVAILABLE, she is in a relationship,

Plus just because you have feelings for her, doesn't mean she automatically has the same feelings for you anymore than it would if you had feelings for a man...

What you need to do is sort out your own feelings and come to terms with the fact that she is with someone...plus to be jealous because someone you have never even dated has a girlfriend is verging on unhealthy and extreme, that's not a healthy way to start a relationship,

This is the second thread this afternoon from a female name + numbers user name with no posting history wherein a previous straight female has suddenly started to have lesbian inklings (previous one was deleted).

That was my first thought. Looks suspect.

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst I had the same thought as you and wondered if it was the same person too

I don't think it's because she's spending time with other people as we rarely seen each other anyway.
When we did I just got a feeling we liked each other (could be totally wrong ) but I just had a feeling.
Obviously even if she was single I wouldn't say anything as I don't even know really myself what I feel.

I haven't posted about her today ..
I have changed my user name just incase someone knew me.

This is the second thread this afternoon from a female name + numbers user name with no posting history wherein a previous straight female has suddenly started to have lesbian inklings (previous one was deleted).

That's a coincidence, surely?

Well I’m glad somebody else has noticed this trend. I raised this a few months ago and other posters said they have never notice. But it’s always funny how when there’s a thread about a hot topic in particular there’s two or three active threads at the same time

What's with Mumsnet today, it's like lesbian central.

I noticed it too

Without sounding rude I don't think it's fair to assume everyone who has a problem is not being truthful.
I haven't posted about this before.
I just wanted advice.

I had a friend once who had only ever dated men, been married, had children, husband fucked off with young colleague - and then she fell in love with a female friend.

She'd never had inklings of being interested in women before, and she said she'd never had feelings like that for any other woman either - but this ONE woman, she loved.

She probably is bisexual but repressed - or it could just be the force of that one person has over-ridden her usual tendencies.
Same for you - either you're repressed bi-sexual, or this is one woman who you've got a thing for and you'll never feel this way about any other woman again.

So basically I shouldn't tell her or hint I like her?
Or wait to see if things work out with her new gf then go from there ?

Why not find a new hobby? Night school classes start soon and there's lots of choice. Also, you might make some new friends there.