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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If pets had AIBU?

224 replies

recklessruby · 05/09/2018 00:23

I am a year and a half old tabby girl cat. Aibu in thinking my human should stay here with me on her lap even though she is bursting to go to the toilet?
Aibu in thinking I should be allowed to sit on top of the laptop when she's working or on mn?
She's a nice owner but she keeps doing things that don't involve stroking me!

OP posts:
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6
SchadenfreudePersonified · 06/09/2018 07:22

AIBU to leave my cat food alone and eat instead: Cardboard, plastic, human food, paper, string, and plants?

YABVVVVU - that is NOT a healthy balanced diet.

Try adding some spiders to your list of delicious things, or maybe a few moths.

recklessruby · 06/09/2018 07:23

Hi all fellow pets
I didn't realise how many of you are suffering at the hands of the stupid humans when I originally posted. Wow!
So many of us put up with a life of mistakes with our stupid humans!
There are too many to answer personally here (and in any case I am learning to bring half dead frogs in for this silly female human who never feeds herself apart from with things out of annoying plastic rustly bags which she brings home in that noisy black thing with wheels. I thought I was getting a nice day out once coz I went in it but she handed me over to another female human and I woke up hours later without my girly bits Angry).
Call 0345 666 999 if you are desperate for advice or if the humans have forgotten to pamper you today. It's free so it won't show up on their stupid phone bill. Use paws if you can or get a fellow pet to call if you are a fish.
Love to all
Ellie (aka Nelly noo noo for God s sake) xxx
Don't suffer alone

OP posts:
knishFromARose · 06/09/2018 07:36

AIBU to remind my owner that I'm not a bloody child and she isn't my mother.

drumandthebass · 06/09/2018 07:44

Another terrier here- god we have a lot to put up with. Those humans are so uptight.

I can't understand what was
wrong with that dog owner yesterday - I was only being friendly and welcoming her into MY field by giving her dog a "cuddle"

If my owner insists on opening the dishwasher to load it, of course I'm going to stand on the door and lick the dirty contents

...and yes, I did have to kill that magpie in the garden....he was asking for it

GoneWishing · 06/09/2018 07:56

My humans don't take property protection and mine (and their own) safety seriously at all, so I - a poor elderly cat - have always had to pick up the slack. AIBU to expect respect, rather than being labelled as a "problem"?

At night, after I've done my meowy security rounds, I take stations on the upstairs landing, guarding my sleeping humans and observing all that happens in the house. Humans are clumsy, blind things, and belong in bed at night, right? Yet mine insist on traipsing back and forth to their loo at any given hour! AIBU to always give them a disproving whack of a paw as they pass me, with just a bit of claw in the mix? They always act as if I'm in the wrong. To me this just seems like a reasonable sleep training tactic!

Humans also allow all kinds of random other humans to enter my house. I'm never consulted! I'm not a great fan of humans at the best of times, but I've made my peace with living with the resident ones (they provide food, have decent laps, are prompt at the poo cleaning, and mostly do no damage around here), but I do NOT accept weird smelling randomers into my home! AIBU? I'm not one these scaredy cats who run away from strangers, but will boldly go over for a good hiss. They're strangers - they might be a security risk, bring strange pathogens, and should not be tolerated. Instead of being thanked for my vigilance, I get chucked out of the room! In my own house?!

There was once a stranger who smelled nice enough (tuna maybe?) and talked sense about national security on the doorstep. I purred at him in appreciation, perhaps the one time in my life. My humans acted surprised and appalled and talked something about a BNP leafletter. They now call me a racist cat, and keep reminding me I'm black. AIBU to find this unamusing?

To answer others, YANBU to suddenly change food preferences, and to generally expect a decent service. Don't lower your standards for the same of human convenience. And dropped tea towels should always be peed on. How else will humans learn?!

YouTakeTheBiscuit · 06/09/2018 08:13

i am a 55kilo dog, i weigh more than my human, my human thinks i am to big to sit on her lap but she still calls me her baby im confused, who is BU here?

Papergirl1968 · 06/09/2018 08:17

AIBU to remind my humans that they suffer from selective deafness too.
Yes, I might not hear them calling me when I’m in next door’s garden, while being able to hear the fridge opening from a distance of approximately five miles.
But they manage not to hear my poor pathetic meows because it’s been 30 minutes since my next meal, yet if I jump up on the kitchen work surface to, you know, help myself, they suddenly develop the hearing ability of a lynx and can hear the Dreamies packets rustling no matter how stealthy I am.
Then I’m called greedy while they sit on their fat backsides stuffing chocolate into their mouths.
My life sucks 😾

YouTakeTheBiscuit · 06/09/2018 08:18

im a new addition to my humans home, im 4 months old, she wakes with me every morning at 5.45 and lets 55kilo dog an me in the garden, she grunts something about an ungodly hour, while making tea, to cheer her up i try and play but she tells me its too early AIBU in assuming if your out of bed its play time?

YouTakeTheBiscuit · 06/09/2018 08:21

@Papergirl1968 your humans are despicable, how is it ok for them to eat their dreamies but you are not allowed to eat yours!

recklessruby · 06/09/2018 08:25

Hi guys I have just been referred to as bubba bubba boo in a high pitched squeaky voice so all the neighbourhood cats can hear.
Aibu to totally blank my female human until she calls me ELLIE. Which she named me and is MY BLOODY REAL NAME!!!
Only coming back in if she opens the fridge where the male human keeps his ham slices. Ooh I love to stick my head in there and try to grab one.

OP posts:
woollyheart · 06/09/2018 08:28

'Youthful' 18 year old grey tabby:
AIBU to have forgotten that I don't like sitting on laps and insist on human making themselves into better shape as cushion for me.
Also, aibu to get irritated when they don't realise that weather really IS different if you go out a different door of the house

Hidillyho · 06/09/2018 08:35

Cat1: AIBU to think that the humans I own should feed me cat food that makes my tummy upset so I do rancid poos

Cat2: AIBU to think that my humans should stop discarding the slow worms I bring them

Both cats: AIBU to cry until my humans give me freshly cooked chicken that I don’t want to eat

Both cats. AIBU to think that my humans should just be my door salves. We like to go out just after we have come in and then to come straight in again because a leaf dropped off the tree

Cat1: AIBU to think under the bed is a perfectly good place to go to the toilet and to ignore the cat litter trays and outside because it’s not as soft on my paws

Papergirl1968 · 06/09/2018 08:45

Exactly, Biscuit.
It’s not fair! (Stamps paw)

JockMcGraw · 06/09/2018 08:51

Boy cat: my humans are so lazy. When I am sitting, bored, at the other end of the house shouting do they come? No! I could be dying! Instead all I get is 'What Do you want?! Come here then!' And I am FORCED to walk all the way to them so I can get some attention. I thought humans were meant to run to you? Mine are defective.

Girl cat: All I want to do is play in the cellar. I know I have free reign of the whole house, but the only place I want to be is the cellar. The humans say no because apparently all the tools and wiring make it dangerous. So unfair. Even when I do my most heart wrenching cry they don't let me. Arseholes.

Both cats: we both are sometimes, depending on our mood, terrified of deodorant being sprayed. Not all the time, just sometimes. AWBU to expect the humans to know when the spraying of the can is going to make us shit ourselves?

Ellen7262 · 06/09/2018 08:53

Lexi: AIBU to expect unlimited strokes as often as I want and then as soon as I'm done give my mum a quick nip and sprint off?

Lonecatwithkitten · 06/09/2018 08:58

Posh Arrogant Boy Cat - AIBU to think my Slavs should feed me the moment I decide it is time, not when she thinks it is time. AIBU to vomit exactly where I please, preferably the top of the stairs in perfect arc so that some vomit lands on every step.
Tailless wonder girl cat - AIBU to think the 'gifts' I bring home should be treated with a bit more respect for the high levels of skill I must show to catch three rats in a 90 minute period.
Dog - AIBU to think the cats are treated better than me and so expect to be able eat their food as well as my own.

IratusCats · 06/09/2018 09:05

Bcat: aibu to expect my mum to accept me biting her, if she feeds me the wrong flavour of food, strokes the dog. She doesn't appreciate this.
Bcat2: aibu to expect my mum to let me in the lounge at night, me & dbro scratched the wallpaper, sofa, carpet, rug & coffee table. She wasn't impressed with our creative touch and shuts us out the room at night.
Mdog: aibu to expect puppydog to share her food, I barge her out the way and finish hers. My ooomins now shut me out the room when she's eating.
Puppydog: my ooomins keep telling me off for chewing the stair carpet, I think it's tasty. Wibu to start chewing the curtains instead?

straightjeans · 06/09/2018 09:18

I am a Yorkshire mix. Aibu to be assume that any rustling sound equals food?

Dogatemyhomework666 · 06/09/2018 09:26

Cat....aibu to try break my humans up? But of back story; my female human is great and makes sure to get me my favourite food and puts the wet meat on top of my biscuits so it gets all yummy. She also tops up my bowl whenever I ask her too.
My male human tries but just doesn't listen to me or my female human. We've told him constantly that I prefer the chicken biscuits but he keeps buying fish. Don't get me wrong I will eat them but they're just not my favourite. He also gets me meat in jelly when I prefer the gravy. Again I will eat the jelly but why not just get what I ask for.
Aibu to tell her to ltb so we can live together alone eating chicken biscuits with gravy??

Dogatemyhomework666 · 06/09/2018 09:29

Dog and cat.... I think my human is trying to poison me. Every month she gets these little bikes out and puts them on our neck and back. She calls it "medicine" to stop us getting something called "fleas". What do we do? Should we call ss or tell our vet?
We've tried saying we don't like it. We've tried running away and hiding as soon as she gets the viles out but she traps us and forces us to have it.
Please someone help us?

deste · 06/09/2018 09:31

Why should I help myself to my toys from the box when I think I’m being polite waiting. You can take them all out at once Thankyou. I can’t open doors either because I’m right handed at some doors and left handed at others so it’s difficult.

Highpeak · 06/09/2018 09:36

PeakCat here....
I had a lovely life as a spoiled only child for 2 years. Then something strange happened, female human got really fat, dissappeared for a couple of days and reappeared with a new pet. It was so noisy and smelly and came with loads of stuff. The only bonus was that it seemed to stay still and the humans were up in the night more so I got lots of petting. I got used to this new situation but now it moves, it can chase me, it wants to be friends and I'm just not interested. AIBU to suggest they rehome the new pet and return me to my life of tranquility?

JuicyLucy72 · 06/09/2018 09:38

Ddog -

Aibu to alert my hooman slave every time an imposter invades the living room via the moving picture box, even though I know the suspects (horses, bikes, Hoovers, and other rather scary looking animals) are contained.
I regularly patrol the back and sides to ensure the area is secure and I have tried to gain access with little success. I have also met some of the creatures whilst out and don't bat a puggy eye lid at them in real life.

nannybeach · 06/09/2018 09:42

I am a 3 year old border collie, my owners DD cat has been staying while she moved house, and of course they dont want him siting on the worktop, urgh, when he goes "potty" he digs in the dirt burrying it, yuck, he also walks across the induction hob, so she has to make very sure DH doesnt leave a pan on it, because it will switch on!

JuicyLucy72 · 06/09/2018 09:44

Aibu to sit longingly and watch my hoomans eat their dinner, and only when the final morsel has been consumed, run like the wind and gobble up my dinner that has been waiting for me all along.