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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If pets had AIBU?

224 replies

recklessruby · 05/09/2018 00:23

I am a year and a half old tabby girl cat. Aibu in thinking my human should stay here with me on her lap even though she is bursting to go to the toilet?
Aibu in thinking I should be allowed to sit on top of the laptop when she's working or on mn?
She's a nice owner but she keeps doing things that don't involve stroking me!

OP posts:
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6
diymania · 05/09/2018 13:02

Kitten 1: AIBU to be hurt that my slaves look at me weirdly when I closely supervise them cleaning my poop out of my litter tray?

Kitten 2: AIBU to poop in the litter tray immediately after my slave has cleared up my siblings poop. I am very considerate in that I often wait until she's at least washed her hands, made a cup of tea and just sat down before refilling the litter tray with my poop. But she does lots and lots of eye rolling and is very hurtful about the smell of my poop too. I think it's giving me a complex.

BlooperReel · 05/09/2018 13:04

Kitten 1: AIBU to pull ALL the washing off the clothes horse as soon as my humans back is turned...even when she has re-hung it four times.

Kitten 2: AIBU to have eaten the brand new plant the human put on the hallway sideboard, I assumed it was for me?

diymania · 05/09/2018 13:05

Kitten 1 (again): and why did she make such a fuss when I walked over her keyboard and pressed send on a half written email to someone she called her B.o.s.s. Madness......has she not heard of being concise?!

Toddlerteaplease · 05/09/2018 13:23

Magic AKA, Snorg;
AIBU, that my slave got another cat when my sister died. Apparently she thought I was lonely. As she isn't keen on being woke up 4-5 times a night to check she's still breathing.

369thegoosedrankwine · 05/09/2018 13:26

Viszla (aka Velcro dog)

Aibu to think that if she has to take a shower every morning that she could at least leave the door fully open so I can check she has not drowned without trying to break though it.

Aibu to think that 4 walks a day are simply not enough and that working from home is not a good enough excuse not to have me permanently on her knee.

Augustend · 05/09/2018 13:41

AIBU to think just because my bum was smelly because a bit of poo got caught in my hair, doesn’t give my mum right to shave me all around my bum hole ?? And she is pleased with herself and she keeps saying she did a good job that I look all fresh and neat down there ! Do AIBU ???

Allergictoironing · 05/09/2018 13:54

Girlcat: AIBU that I want attention when my slave is sitting at the PC? Surely when she stopped working in an office the idea was that she would be at my beck and call all day, not doing something called "work". It's not like I want to sit on her or have strokes or anything, I just need her to be in the other room with me when I eat, then pay attention to me while I stare at her from just out of reach.

Boycat: AIBU to expect the slave to come and sit next to me when I want cuddles? Obviously I can't go to her place on the sofa and she needs to come to my seat, but equally she shouldn't try to sit in my seat unless I've specifically asked her over. Naturally if I decide to jump down, I expect her to go off to her slave corner and I won't come back to ask for more fuss until she does.

Both cats: AWBU to do our night time exercise only after the slave has gone to bed? We want her out of the way so she doesn't trip over us as we streak through the whole house thundering up & down stairs, and bounce over & under the bed she is in while chatting to each other. It's more fun after the lights have gone off anyway.

UpstartCrow · 05/09/2018 13:57

IANBU - the Crow family wont let me in. Bastards. Should I sit on their doorstep and yowl to make them look like neglectful cat owners?

By Neighbours Cat.

SeaViewBliss · 05/09/2018 13:57

3 year old ginger Tom.

AIBU to ignore my human all evening and then cry at her bedroom door when she goes to bed? Even scratching at the door doesn't budge her.

She ignores me every night and just goes to sleep. Rude!

DinaCaliente · 05/09/2018 13:57

AIBU to think my humans don't realise that all food they consume must by dog law be tasted by me first?

ipswichwitch · 05/09/2018 14:04

I don’t think I am being at all unreasonable in expecting my human to stand at the back door, holding it slightly ajar until I’m good and ready to come in. Last night she got cross waiting for me to grace her with my presence, and shut the door again. I got distracted by a rather tasty moth, and considering what she seems to think passes for cat food, I’m well within my rights to keep her waiting while I supplement my diet with invertebrates. I did shout that I was ready to come in, in about 5mins, while looking through the window. Not my fault stupid human doesn’t speak cat and thinks I want to be in now 🙄

ByeGermsByeWorries · 05/09/2018 14:08

Aibu to think that my blanket is my business and my property and my human has no business removing it from me? This is becoming a frequent occurrence, every Friday in fact, and she calls it "blanket day" as if it's some sort of celebration.

Her reasoning is that apparently it stinks to high heaven Hmm .

Maltropp · 05/09/2018 14:08

Cat 1: AIBU that my humans don't let me eat carrier bags and get annoyed with me when they unload the shopping and shoo me away for biting every crinkly packet or taking whole bags of salad away to another room. .. I am the Salad Killer.

Cat 2: AIBU to mainly loathe my humans who claim they "rescued" me from a life of freedom on the streets via the poxy animal sanctuary I was held hostage in for a while? They never get my memos about the fact that I no longer like that flavour of food anymore, they have another cat I'm expected to tolerate despite the fact that she is clearly stupid (steals bags of spinach and voluntarily sits on humans laps, cannot work out the cat flap) and they insist on calling me "Mouse".. I am not a fucking rodent.

Anastassiabeaverhausen · 05/09/2018 14:13

Beaverdog: AIBU that when it's the middle of the night, if I go outside and there's a possum in the trees I can't possibly make it to the grass to do my business? I obviously should be allowed to go inside on the floor?
My owner thinks this is gross and not on, but she has not seen the possum looking at me and giving me evil looks.

ItsABeatifulDayNow · 05/09/2018 14:53

Bunny: AIBU to throw my empty bowl toward my hoomin and stare at her (repeatedly and pointedly) when I finish my dinner and she has the audacity to leave it empty, forcing me to survive only on endless hay and ample veg for a matter of hours until refill time?

Disclaimer from said hoomin - SHE IS SO CUTE AND SWEET THOUGH. I like that she's sassy I can't help but encourage it with head rubs and snugs.

bershetmelon · 05/09/2018 14:56

Cat: AIBU to expect my humans to open any either the back door, front door, kitchen window or bathroom window when I want to come in or go out again at anytime of the day or night... it don't think 3am is unreasonable at all!

Cat: deciding I like a type of food so mother buys it only to change my mind about 3 days later and refuse to eat it again

Cat: my human mother should fuss me whenever I want. Me lying on her lap means she should give me her undivided attention and she should not use her other hand to scroll through her phone as stroking me one handed is doing half a job!

Ddog1: despite being 25kg I think that mother should allow me to lay on her lap when ever I like

Ddog2: demand food and walks as often as I possibly can

Ddog1: give Dad the sad eyes when he sits on, what is clearly, my side of the sofa

reetgood · 05/09/2018 15:00

terrified Ted the cat here.

AIBU to find the following things terrifying?

  • doors opening
  • doors closing
  • the washing machine (terrifying wobbling noise box)
  • the hoover (noisy evil red thing)
  • feet
  • more than two people in a room at one time
  • THE BABY
  • catflap
  • boxes
  • plastic bags
  • brooms
  • baby toys. Teddies and that horrible activity centre in particular
  • clothes horse

I am exhausted and my humans can’t seem to understand why these items should be kept out of my territory. I suspect they are laughing at me when I run away from the teddy. But it’s weird and furry but horribly still! Why do they keep this macabre item IN MY HOOOOOOOOME?

onewayoflife · 05/09/2018 15:09

AIBU to expect a little bit of gratitude for all the presents I bring my mummy and daddy?

Just yesterday I caught a beautiful great tit and excitedly took it in for them and mummy distracted me while daddy just threw it away. They didn't even play with it! Or tell me what a good kitty I was for managing to catch it, and I can tell you it wasn't easy because those birds move pretty damn fast.

I admit sometimes I get a little overexcited and eat most of their present but I always save them something, be it the heart, or some of the intestines, or half a head.

Every single day I go out of my way to catch something nice for them and more often than not they just shout at me. I feel really unappreciated.

totallyliterally · 05/09/2018 15:38

Cat: AIBU to only puke on carpeted areas of floor and never hardwood floors. My human thinks so and get particularly annoyed when I start my yaking noise in the kitchen but move to the carpet in living room to finish.

Cat: AIBU to fucking hate that dog they got?

Dog: AIBU to just want to see the cat close up and be it's friend. So much friend. All the friend.

Dog: AIBU to always wait till I'm really far from a dog poo bin to do a poo. And on a walk make sure I do at least 3 poos so human has to carry the poo bags around for ages?

Guinea pigs: AIBU to not want to be touched as I know you are going to do terrible things like clean out my hutch and give me cuddles. So I hide in my tube and human gets annoyed.

I could go on. The most lovable twats ever in this house.

Rachelweasel · 05/09/2018 15:40

Tabitha: AIBU to expect my mummy to get up at 6am so I can sleep on her pillow?
AIBU to demand food every day at 4pm despite a strict dinner time of 5:30pm?
AIBU to want to lick mummy's fingers ALL THE TIME?

Morpheus: AIBU to go ballistic around the whole house after dinner and beat up Tabitha?
AIBU to walk around the house every day howling at the walls?
AIBU to STILL be peeing on carpets and curtains even though I'm toilet trained, have NO stress in my life and just do it to piss off mummy & daddy?

Mummy & Daddy: 🖕🖕🖕🖕

TwentySmackeroos · 05/09/2018 15:41

This should go in Classics 🐶🐱🐰🐠

agnurse · 05/09/2018 15:46

@DrooliusCaesar

You don't know Biggie. Other cats have slaves. He has a Daddy. He practically worships the ground under Daddy's feet. Ever since we brought him home he has basically claimed Daddy as his personal property. He gets a disgusted look on his face if Daddy plays with the other cats. That's HIS Daddy.

BloodyDisgrace · 05/09/2018 15:47

Our cats won't ever ask AIBU. They know they are THE LAW. (humans disagree occasionally)

boux · 05/09/2018 15:51

Dog: AIBU to think that they love the big container thingy (bin) more than me. They are always feeding it things that could be given to me.

YogaDrone · 05/09/2018 15:52

I'm a 4 year old Labrador who loves her tennis ball. AIBU to think that my human servant should throw the ball for me to chase when I take her out for walks?

Stupid human says she'll do this when I let go of the ball. But I love the ball and don't want to let go of it. Why can't she just understand that I want to hold the ball AND chase it at the same time and need her to facilitate this?

Honestly, is that too much to ask?