If pets had AIBU?

[recklessruby]

I am a year and a half old tabby girl cat. Aibu in thinking my human should stay here with me on her lap even though she is bursting to go to the toilet?
Aibu in thinking I should be allowed to sit on top of the laptop when she's working or on mn?
She's a nice owner but she keeps doing things that don't involve stroking me!

Yes frantically you go for it!

Aibu to bark at a door bell on the tv despite never living at in a house with a door bell 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

itchy no! That is not unreasonable! A door bell is specifically designed for you to show everyone that you is well ‘ard and ready for anything. Bark your bollocks off and let them see who’s boss!😉

Dog1: Just looking for a handhold here . My DW has started telling people she owns me, she's literally had my balls removed and the other day was trimming some pubes from around my willy. She makes me sleep downstairs but I love her so much. WWYD? AIBU?

Dog2 - my slave is such a fucking pearl clutcher. Shouldn't dangle your hands when you walk innit. It wasn't a nip - it was an ivory kiss 💋

@Aintnothingbutaheartache ah! Excellent! Shall ignore the hoomans when they start rolling their eyes and saying things like 'this is why you have no friends Dave'

Also. AIBU to protest about being forced to go on a walk?

I don't want to walk unless it's very particular conditions, but on Saturday my hoomans dragged me out of the house and on a 6 mile walk! The vet told them I was lying about having a sore foot last week after X-rays and scans 🤢 felt ill after those, but the sausage was worth it..

when I started limping they laughed at me so I found a very very very crowded lake and got in the shallow end and lay down and pretended to be dead. I liked blowing bubbles! So much so that children were coming up to my parents to tell them they thought I had died. Children were crying and shouting and my mum was like oh ffs get out! So I jumped up and shook all over the children and made them wet and cry some more.

Then i refused to get up so dad had to walk home and get the car, drive back and pay for parking and take me home. 😂💪 there was nothing wrong I just didn't fancy a walk.

Doesn't help that my mum is a dog walker and I refuse to walk with her. 99% of the photos of me are when I'm lying down apparently i should be ashamed of myself and that big dogs need exercise but I beg to differ

itchy it sounds like you are doing a very good job indeed, keep up the good work!
You might find it beneficial to occasionally put your head to one side and open your eyes as wide as you can

Pet kitchen spider here using humans i-pad. AIBU to be very angry she has torn my web out of the kitchen window with a long sucking thing? I took hours making it and had filled it it with silk wrapped food.

Smaller kitchen spider. AIBU to be shit scared of the other kitchen spider? She is bigger than me and says I am her mate and when she has had her way with me she is going to eat me.

Pineapple dog2 here.

Itchy Great job! Keep it up. You are a good boy!

I make my lady hooman carry me when I don't fancy walking anymore. She was talking about getting me my very own carrier! Like the one they put those shouty miniature hooman's in. Wouldn't that be posh! All the local dogs will think I'm canine royalty

AIBU in wanting my human to sit still while I rub my wet nose on her feet? It’s not my fault she’s taken her shoes off and put her feet up!

Am I being unreasonable to expect my human to be a bit more consistent? I like digging at her jeans and when I do this she laughs and calls me cute, but when I dig her bare ankle and leave a big grey and purple mark and then affectionately bite her she shouts "no" and walks away from me! I don't understand! Surely digging is either ok or it's not? Look at me, do I look like I could hurt anyone?!

Also, am I unreasonable to chew her brand new phone cover to pieces? I chewed her old one for her, and I chewed through her internet cable too, and her laptop charger and three phone chargers because I wanted to be extra helpful, but she keeps moving the phone away from me so I can't chew this one. It's not fair!

Hi...I'm a black cat. 🐱
AIBU to sleep on a black chair?

Hi, tortoise here,

AIBU to want to hibernate? The big yellow thing in the sky is not around as much and I am very sleepy. My human keeps making me get up and sit in the garden when I don’t want to. Says something about needing to keep going for another month or the winter will be too long. WIBU to pee all over her when she picks me up?

mhwo2

What a cute bunny!

Justabadwife

My parents have a black bearskin that they keep on the back of their couch. (They bought it. Dad didn't shoot it.) They have two black cats who like to sit up there. Once they had guests over and one of the cats was sitting on the bearskin. Of course she wasn't visible. Then she stood up and nearly gave one of the guests a heart attack!

From the fish . AIBU to wish that DD would stop messing with the light settings and colours on our tank. WE DO NOT WANT TO BE DISCO FISH.

@frogletmamma that sounds horrific. Poor fish you don't want to be in a nightclub!

Next time she does it nibble her fingers with your fishy lips. Humans hate this

Aibu to stick my head into EVERY shopping bag as my mum tries to get in the front door? I mean i have to check there is nothing dangerous in there ..... like veg yuck!

Also to wake everyone up to let me out at 6am then demand my breakfast before i fall asleep on the couch?

Dog1 here: I like to roll in shit (preferably the exclusive fox kind) my DW thinks this is disgusting and immediately gives me a bath. I'm really doing my best to make myself as attractive as possible. I overhead her saying I was a dog today and I'm so devastated. Should I have plastic surgery, a bikini wax, a makeover? Am I being over sensitive? WWYD?

Dogs
AIBU to expect my human to stroke us both at the same time with one hand whilst she looks through Mumsnet on her phone.

AIBU to nuzzle her hand if she dare stop for more than one second or move to the other dog.

Dog here - is it asked to much for the whole family to eat the same food?? The humans always have the best smelling things in their bowl. My nose tells me that it's something different every single day!! And my human mum is always complaining because she hates cooking.
AIBU to think humans should try and eat the same slop every day like the rest of us?

GingerDog: is it TOOO MUCH TO ASK that my human doesnt tease me by saying the word 'out' in my vicinity. She knows I live to go 'out' but when she talks about going 'out out' and I get my ball she tells me we're not going 'out'

I'm very confused and sad. Do you think she's being abusive? Should I log it with 101 or the RSPCA?

IdiotCat1: AIBU to carefully wait until it appears my humans are engrossed in a really interesting film before I start frantically dragging my claws down the glass of the patio doors to be let out? They seem to act as though I am. AIBmoreU to do the same from the outside when I want to come back in, and then when they finally cave and open the door, to just sit there and stare at them? They don't seem to enjoy this game very much.

IdiotCat2: AIBU to repeatedly race around the downstairs until I get enough momentum to run straight up one of the doorframes? I've never managed to get more than a few feet off the floor but I'm sure there must be SOMETHING interesting up there. I'll manage it one day...

Some of our previous cats:

Sandy: AIBU to jump at the door when I want in? (I am a white cat with sandy coloured spots and I have blue eyes; I don't say much and my hoomans think I may be partially deaf.) Also, WIBU to bring home my prize muskrat that I killed in the irrigation ditch so I can show my hoomans?

Misty: AIBU to attack Mum's shoe for no apparent reason? AIBU to be sitting on the step cowering in fear while Martin the teddy bear hamster drinks out of my water dish?

Tigger: WIBU as a tiny kitten to sit between people's feet and cry until someone picked me up? AIBU to pitch into Salem when I see a strange cat outside and Salem comes up behind me?

Salem: AIBU to wail all over the house when I can't find Tigger? (They were sisters from the same litter.)

Ellie : aibu to weave in and out of my human's legs and then bolt for the front door when someone knocks on it?
She thinks I am coz she needs to get a parcel but I m just protecting her as we don't have a dog to do this job.
Also aibu to suddenly decide I hate cat food in jelly and love the gravy one?
She had to go to the shop before work today and moaned. I m not prepared to starve to death while she plays around at work.