What happens now?

[user1728]

Hi all not necessarily an aibu but need advice and traffic. My ex husband and I share a son who is almost 2. We split up whilst I was still pregnant for various reasons and he has had contact with him once a week for around (maximum 5/6 hours never had him more than that) always a set day (whilst I am working) times negotiated between us the week before - quite an amicable arrangement.

His circumstances see ex moving from the same town as DS and I to just over hour away (60 miles) in the coming couple of months.

The day he has him atm is a day I work and he doesn't, so I drop him off on my way to work and ex brings him back mid/late afternoon. I was wondering what is reasonable to expect re contact? Any suggestions/ideas? Thank you

If he is the one moving, the reasonable thing would be for him to travel to facilitate ongoing contact. Whether he is likely to do that when he only sees his child for a few hours a week is another matter! Could he look at having longer contact now that DS is a bit older and there's travelling involved, perhaps overnight? If you're feeling particularly amicable you could each do one of the journeys

Sensible thing would be that he picks DS up the night before your shift and drops him back as usual. You get a night to yourself and he gets to do actual parenting without you giving much more time than he has already.

Yes overnights are imminent I suppose makes me nervous cause he's never had him unsupervised for more than a few hours if he's due to be on his own he always takes DS to his various members of his family's houses.

DS currently attends Nursery the day before contact day and ex works the day before so if that happened he would literally pick him up at 6ish from Nursery drive him to his house and put him to bed - no idea how beneficial that is for ex or DS but I suppose that'll probably have to be done 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️