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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my bed back

20 replies

Gingerninj · 14/08/2018 22:24

I have a nice large bed with a comfy matress that I like to sleep right in the middle of...however this isn't possible because 6 year old DS seems to find his way in there every night. I just came upstairs to go to bed and there he is. Now I wouldn't mind much but he either sleeps side ways across the bed or spreads out like a star fish and kicks me all night, i end up sleeping on the sofa. I know i should have been stricter about him sleeping in his own bed from the start. I wasn't with DD either and she often came in until a couple years ago. I can't see him wanting to sleep in mummy's bed at 13 (i hope not anyway) but I'd like to not be sleep deprived for the next few years

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 14/08/2018 22:31

Just chat with him when awake and tell him it needs to stop. He’s old enough to understand. I take it you can’t carry him back to his bed?

c3pu · 14/08/2018 22:33

Put him back in his own bed and tell him no.

Original poster
Gingerninj · 14/08/2018 22:40

He'll come and wake me and ask me if he can sleep in my bed sometimes, If i say no I'll only wake up with him next to me anyway. I'll definitely have a proper talk with him about it. I kind of just let DD grow out of it but she didn't come in every night

OP posts:
whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 14/08/2018 22:42

6 years on and still have this problem.

Ugh, I should be tougher about it too. I like it and hate it in equal measure.

You're not alone.

MonaLisaSimpson · 14/08/2018 23:04

Reward chart for staying in his own bed all night?

Goth237 · 14/08/2018 23:43

You either need to be a lot tougher with it - I don't think that breaking this habit he's been allowed to fall into will be easy - or allow it. Do the Supernanny method. Take him to bed first time saying "Bed time (sweetie/darling whatever you call him). Second time, "Bed time". Every time afterwards say nothing. Just take him back to bed. He may kick up a fuss but that's OK. You need to persevere for as long as it takes. It will work, you just have to keep at it.

SunflowerJo08 · 14/08/2018 23:45

I like the Supernanny method of no eye contact, voice, or any kind of stimulation other than silently guiding back to bed. A star chart may also help. Perhaps a new teddy or some sort of comforter for him to keep in his bed? At 6, imaginations run wild so if he had a "protector" in his bed to cuddle, this may help when he wakes up initially.

Flipflop789 · 14/08/2018 23:49

Nothing helpful to say here apart from you're not alone! Ha they have to stop one day? Surely? Confused

ineedaholidaynow · 14/08/2018 23:49

He's obviously getting comfort from the bed rather than you, if you end up sleeping somewhere else.

You need to get tougher.

Muddlingalongalone · 14/08/2018 23:56

YADNBU dd2, 3.5, is awful to sleep with. Even if I move her across to the other side she moves closer and closer to me all night.
When she manages a whole week in a row in her own bed all night she's getting a smiggle slinky spring - this has been on the table since March and she still hasn't managed it.
Dd1 is 7 and if we didn't end up joined by dd2 she's lovely to share with. Cuddle when she gets in and then Sticks to her own side and everything

Rebecca36 · 15/08/2018 01:36

Tell him he has to be slim and straight like a pencil because otherwise you don't sleep well enough. He'll get that. Eventually he'll stop coming in altogether but while he's still doing it, he has to learn to be considerate. Sweet, give him a cuddle from me. (Mine used to do the same.)

justilou1 · 15/08/2018 01:50

Shut your door and put a chair under the handle so he can’t get in.

Threeminis · 15/08/2018 01:57

I could have written this op.
My ds (also 6) has mastered getting into bed without waking me.. dh is away with work at the moment so most mornings he's in beside me.
I figured he would grow out of it at some point

TawnyTeal · 15/08/2018 03:49

Can you put a small mattress on the floor in your room so he can be in your room, but in his own space? Until he decides to stay in his own bed......

Original poster
Gingerninj · 15/08/2018 11:42

I'm thinking about getting a lock, at least to stop him coming in when I'm still downstairs. So he might fall asleep in his room before even thinking about coming in mine. Not sure another mattress would help because although it's uncomfortable for me he knows he's supposed to stay in his own bed and having a bed there for him might make him feel like he's allowed if that makes sense

OP posts:
Excited0803 · 15/08/2018 12:00

If the mattress is a big draw for both of you, could he get a new mattress in the same style for his room?

This is my future, the little limpet is on his nap right now attached by as many points of contact as he can manage, but he's still only so very little.

Aprilshowersinaugust · 15/08/2018 12:02

Maybe tell him you are too tired to go to x activity today as you had no sleep?
If he stays in his own bed he will have a happier dm!!

Confusedbeetle · 15/08/2018 12:04

This is entirely a problem of your making and is up to you to sort it, Not the childs fault

Original poster
Gingerninj · 15/08/2018 12:27

I said i should have been stricter but it's not like he hasn't known where he's supposed to sleep

OP posts:
AlasEarwax · 15/08/2018 23:08

Hope tonight is easier, OP Flowers

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