Thieves are getting dumber round here

[justilou1]

Not really an AIBU, but more of an eye roll....
I am in Australia and it is a bright, sunny morning. I heard a noise outside while I was taking out the rubbish. I saw a bloke fiddling around with my car door handles. (We park on the street.) I asked what he was doing and he said he’d locked his keys in it. I said that I thought you couldn’t lock the keys in that model, and he replied that he thought he “must have!” as they weren’t in his pocket. I asked him if he’d like me to go inside and get the keys for him and he said “Yes please!”
It took a minute for the penny to drop, but the look on his face was priceless when he realized whose car he was breaking into. He looked at me, swore, then ran away. (I am a terrifying sight at 5’1 in my slippers!)
I have phoned the police who are coming around to finger print the car and check my cctv. (If they catch him, maybe they can also give the guy an IQ test!)

Hahaha brilliant!

I love being Australian.

www.abc.net.au/news/2018-08-03/brazen-gold-heist-at-kalgoorlie-mine/10071208

This really made me laugh, but stupid thieves are the best kind.

Love it

Amazing

Hahahaha thanks OP

Would of love to of seen his face well done OP

'Yes please!'

@The Sandgroper - I woke my husband up laughing at that very article last night!!!

yes please rofl. don'tcha just love a polite but thick burglar!

Glorious

That's hilarious

Years ago one of my friends had an amazing mountain bike, back in the days when they weren't so ubiquitous as these days. He'd left it padlocked to the iron railings outside our local pub, but hadn't taken it home when he left (possibly too pissed!). When he went back for it the following day it had been nicked. A couple of months later we'd left the pub after a lunchtime drink and were walking down the road. We'd probably only walked less that 200 yards when we saw a Police car and ambulance tending to a bike rider, who was 'walking wounded'. Friend spotted the bike and realised it was his - he went over to the Police and said it had been nicked (he'd had it ID'd). Once the Police established it was his, they promptly frogmarched the perp away from the ambulance and into the Police Car. Moral of the story? I guess if you're going to nick a bike, don't ride it down the same road you stole it from!!

Some dumbass broke into my DM’s shed and stole my bike (this was when I still lived with her) and then chained it (with their own chain) to the railing at the foot of the stairs... in our building.

I didn’t even know it had been nicked until I walked through the door and saw it there! Took a good bit of work with the hacksaw to get through the chain but I got it back

I have an old friend who became an NYPD detective. He was called to a bank branch after a robbery. He asked to see the demand note that the robber had given the teller. It turns out that the robber had written it on the back of some of his parole paperwork from his recent release from prison and it had his name and address on it.

So he went around to the guy's flat, which was nearby, and found him there counting the money from the bank.

Great story @Miss ConductUS - sounds like that guy might be safer in jail with other people making his decisions for him!

justilou1 it is a great story. And of course the bank robber was just astounded and astonished that he had been caught so quickly.

My dad had his first car stolen from outside his house. A few days later, he was asked for directions by a couple of guys in a car. As they drove off, he realised why the car looked familiar...

At least he was able to tell the police where they could find his car!

A few years ago now but one of the local youth suddenly decided to take up keying cars as a hobby. Only he went down the street where he lived and scratched his name into about 6 cars. Not the sharpest tool in the box.

I'm glad that it's not just us that are surrounded by morons, then.... Great stories, and thanks for sharing. I didn't think to congratulate him on his manners, though. Thanks for pointing that out, too. x

I left my car unlocked the other day, and a crook rifled through it. Left the glovebox and cubby holes open, made it really obvious.

There was nothing of value in it, so nothing taken. If he'd closed all he'd opened and covered his tracks I'd have never known. However, I felt enraged and have now fitted CCTV to cover my car. First night I put it up I caught him approaching my car, looked directly at the camera and gave it a miss, instead tried to get into a neighbour's car.

Haven't seen him since... If he'd taken 5 seconds to cover his tracks he'd have had a much better chance of continuing his crime...

Years ago I was walking up the street when a speeding car t-boned another car coming out of a side street. The speeding car mounted the pavement behind me, it was pretty terrifying. The driver jumped out of the speeding car shouting "my brother was driving" despite him being the only occupant, and promptly ran off. I called the police and when the officer arrived they looked through the abandoned car. There was a photo wallet (old school) with pictures of the driver sat on the bonnet of the car, making identification quite straightforward. There was also a massive bag of weed in the glovebox. I never heard anything on the outcome but I really hope the police caught that master criminal.