I'll go first...……..
……….today I managed to go into a shop with my dc (both active toddlers with a tendency to eat everything in sight)……..and at the till I managed to slip a £1 slab of chocolate into the shopping basket unnoticed, which I paid for along with everything else. After getting dc strapped into car seats etc I managed to open said slab of chocolate (radio on, window open etc to cover noise of paper and foil opening) unnoticed, and on the way home managed to eat the entire thing unnoticed, not having to share a square!!! 
This, as I'm sure you'll appreciate, is quite the feat and one I'm just a little bit smug about!!