in this day and age ...

[RebeccaWithTheGoodHair]

Typing quickly as so annoyed. Splitting up with DH because of his unreasonable behaviour. Having to sell the house. I instructed the solicitor and have had everything to do with him so far. Formal letters arrived this morning with me addressed as Mrs (not Ms as I had written down to him). And what's more DH is first client and I am fucking 2nd client.

I am so pissed off that if it wouldn't delay the sale I'd fucking instruct someone else. A female. I only instructed this bloke because he's closer.

It's so engrained, when the fuck will it stop being assumed that women are Mrs and come second to men on mortgage, financial and legal things. Even the fucking utility bills and council tax.

AIBU?

Yep! I filled in the forms when opening a bank account with First Direct like this:
Ms Vestibule
Mr Vestibule

What came back?
Mr Vestibule
Mrs Vestibule

Yes, I should have complained...

Just you and me then, Rebecca .

Also me - and I hate with a passion when they give you the mans initial - are we not allowed first names of our own!!! Grrrr.

I don't get it. Do you both have the same solicitor? Isn't that a conflict of interest? Or is this letter from the mortgage company? If the latter, I'd phone them and give them a piece of my mind.

cardsforkittens I guess this is their conveyancing solicitor?

It is MsV - he's doing the joint sale but then the bastard is also dealing with my purchase. I bet he's happy enough for me to be Ms and first client at that point!!

Ah right. Bastard.

If it were me, I'd probably say something about it, but I'm quite stubborn about things like that. It's not always helpful though.

Is that how your names are on your current mortgage? That could be why he's used that terminology and order specifically. Ours and our bank lists me first as I was the lead applicant

No, it's nothing to do with the mortgage company at the moment (who also have us as Mr & Mrs).

I'm just super annoyed because it was me that gave him the instruction so by rights I am client 1.

Ditto, I'm the one instructing solicitor, mortgage (even putting in 90% of the deposit) and we're unmarried yet still DP is listed first!!! Every form I filled in myself as client 1 yet on everything that comes back I'm client 2. If we weren't trying to be so quick with it all I'd complain.

Exactly!!

I'll be paying most of his bill as it covers our sale and my purchase whereas STBXH is only choking up half the fees to cover the sale.